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HardToTame -> Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 6:21:52 PM)

Ok, as a pervert, the one thing that attracts me to dominant chicks is the authrority and the confidence.

So, how do you build a womans confidence?  Help? Please?



khem -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 6:29:52 PM)

Life experience.  Time.  [:D]  

Or were you looking for something quick and easy? 



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 6:42:12 PM)

Is this another "how do I make my gf into a dominant?" thread?  Use the search function to find out why that won't work.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 6:47:11 PM)

Try not being a dick.



TermsConditions -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:03:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

Ok, as a pervert, the one thing that attracts me to dominant chicks is the authrority and the confidence.

So, how do you build a womans confidence?  Help? Please?


"[T]he one thing that attracts me to dominant chicks..."

Ouch. Tough to recover from there. Suggest you punch out, re-register, and read some threads before reposting.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:16:29 PM)

viagra



HardToTame -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:43:54 PM)

I dont want to make her dominant, I just want to make her confident.

quote:

"[T]he one thing that attracts me to dominant chicks..."

Ouch. Tough to recover from there. Suggest you punch out, re-register, and read some threads before reposting.



Don't worry I don't plan on meeting anyone or anything off this site.  I'm not here to get off so I don't care.  I'm not going to come here and pretend to be some pussy whipped sub whose like "Please mistress spank me again" because I'm not here for that.  I'm here for advice.  I want to up my leading ladies confidence, thats all.  I know theres no quick fix, but I'm asking a legitimate question.  How do you give a woman confidence so that she can take charge.  Not in the bedroom, but in LIFE.



impossiblesub -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:46:21 PM)

Marry her. lol



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:50:22 PM)

If you want legitimate advice, phrase it the way you did in your SECOND post, not your first. The firs tsounds like a wank thread waiting to happen the second sounds like an actual request for assistance.

AS for how to make her more confident, that would depend on where and why her confidence is lacking in the first place. Does she think she isnt doing a good job at something? Are her co-workers negative people? Is she afriad of trying and changing out of her comfort zone? ADvice to help raise confidence realy does have to depend on what causes the lack of confidence in the first place.  Battling something external is a lot simpler than battling something internal. More info is definately needed.



AAkasha -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 7:54:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HardToTame

Ok, as a pervert, the one thing that attracts me to dominant chicks is the authrority and the confidence.

So, how do you build a womans confidence?  Help? Please?


Self condifence is often tied to self esteem and self image, so if there are issues related to that, you can't really create it. That's my opinion of course.  False self confidence, the kind that masks insecurity, is something you can foster and manipulate, but I don't think that's what you are talking about.

One thing I would point out though is this -- trying to foster any kind of "thing" in a woman, because it makes you horny, can backfire.  The woman feels objectified often, and this backfires if you are dealing with a woman who you are trying to elevate simply because it turns you on more than her everday, comfortable personality.  Trying to make a woman act or behave in a manner that is foreign is more likely to breed insecurity and resentment.

Akasha



HardToTame -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 8:33:57 PM)

....... .... I get the impression some people here aren't very social.  So formal, and........... rediculous really.

Anyways, marrying her?  I'm a male.  She lacks in confidence I lack in commitment [:D]

Aakasha.  See, its not a horny thing.  Just, things like, saying no.  Making decisions and so forth. I love her to bits as is, No mistress will EVER come close to her, (even though shes not one) and so it's got nothing to do with sex, I just thought I'd write that little bit in to some how relate it to this site, but, i just want her to be confident.  feel good and secure about herself.  She deserves it.



azropedntied -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 8:39:58 PM)

if your expecting a serious answer  the phrase "dominant chick's " should have never been typed .next your going to call her yer ole lady ? 



HardToTame -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 8:44:52 PM)

Dominant chicks... Whats wrong with that?  Political correctness sucks.



azropedntied -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 8:54:16 PM)

If you really do not know what is wrong with addressing Dominant ,Females /Mistresses /FemDommes  as "chick's " then i suggest you keep the woman  you have now and prey she never leaves .I do not know One Woman i would address in that way .
[sm=dunno.gif]



HardToTame -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 9:05:13 PM)

and are you supposed to be prince charming or some shit?



LadyPact -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/27/2008 9:18:54 PM)

Yes, the 'dominant chicks' thing really is a put off.  Don't be surprised if you get more comments on that than your actual question.

Confidence is often directly tied to self esteem.  That's not really something you can 'fix' for her.  She has to do it because it's an inside job.  What you can do is talk with her so that you can let her know that you're willing to help her in this task in ways that you can.  Is she interested in improving certain things about herself that might bolster her self esteem?  Are these things you can participate in, too?  Would she be happier with herself if she worked out more?  Learned a new skill by taking a class?  If she feels lacking in something, which is effecting her self-esteem, what can change that?

That's the only non-formal freebie you're getting.  Good luck. 



MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/28/2008 1:12:02 AM)

Ditto on comments about language usage.  I find it ironic that you are posting about how to make your love feel better about herself and more assertive, and yet you have managed to couch things in disrespectful, objectifying language.  Do ya (I can be informal!) do this same thing with the woman in question?  It's very worth your time to look at that.

When I read "authority" and "confidence" in the OP, I read those as extroverted traits, the sterotypical image of a brassy, finger-snapping dominatrix.  If you have an introvert on your hands, you're talking about an inborn trait that may shift little by little but isn't going to change dramatically. 

As to genuinely building confidence, it's something that you as a partner can influence, but you have to get a buy-in from the woman (not "chick") herself.

MSS



MistressVnus -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/28/2008 1:22:37 AM)

quote:

Try not being a dick.


Hahahahahaha!!! [sm=ubanana.gif]



MissLily -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/28/2008 4:38:16 AM)

ShaktiSama:Very good advice! lol!!!

OP, I try not to be rude when I post on this forum, but really! If the way you post is your true everyday self, you really do sound like an ass. I'm sure your gf is a wonderful human being, but I'm not convinced a strong, self confident woman with self esteem would tolerate going out with someone like you.

If you're not into bdsm, than please, don't bother hanging around.

Miss Lily



Lashra -> RE: Whats the best way to --- (4/28/2008 4:53:19 AM)

Only she can make the decision to take charge in life, you cannot do it for her. If this is something she wants, have her come and post otherwise, your most likely wasting your time.
I run my life, my relationship and my own company. I don't do it because someone wants me to do it, I do it because I want to do it. Its just how I am wired.
There are self help books out there on how to learn to run ones life, maybe one of those are what you are looking for.

~Lashra



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