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RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 6:20:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		MissLily pleased to meet you. Grins.  OP you can't judge a book by it's cover. I know 2 powerful women. Both have extreme dominat personalities. One wants a man to take control of her and the other likes to control her men. Until you get to know the people you never can really tell.  

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 6:33:18 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I'm one who tends to, not ponder mostly, but as part of my normal observation of all people around me, I mentally profile them without even thinking about it. (Just the result of years of accute observation to stay alive and profiling targets and their associates). I have found that there are those who I would classiufy as potential submissives simply by attitude, body language and even manerisms. othewrs I classify as potential Dominants. These tend to be at the extreme ends of the spectrum. Some of those in the middle where probably most fit, I can say some may well be probable switches. To balance this pout I know people who are meek and mild, avoud confruntations and so on who are not only quietly Dominant, but are actively so in porivate with their partners (sub or slave) and I do know several powerful people in Business and the Legal circles who are completelysubmissive once they have removed the mantle of their profession and are in private. I believe a number of us here know Senior Warant Officers and Senior Commissioned Officers who are submissives, just as we know people in those same ranks are what the seem, Dominants. 

Such observations and musings are never to be taken seriously but do pass time when drinking coffee and enjoying a lunch at one of our shopping centers (malls) to keep my mind of the desire to enjoy a cigarette, pipe or cigar. My wife and I have fun at times checking out the stream of nubile bare bellied lasses for possible collar materials.  Pity the law won't allow me to mount the odd collaring raid but I immagine the mundane populace would panick.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 6:33:51 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		In my experience of "guessing" about vanilla acquaintances, I find the people who have no understanding of the D/s world, and do not allow themselves to admit an interest have VERY distorted views of dominance and submission.

It seems the stereotype is submissives are complete and utter faceless slaves, and all dominants are blood frenzied sadists (who worship the devil and drink the blood of children).  For this reason, I've found it very hard to talk about dominance and submission with those who don't already know. 

My acquaintances who find BDSM "sexy bedroom time stuff" are usually switches.  At least for the time being.  They don't know what they are yet, so they try both sides.  A great way to decide between vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry is to have a Napoleon.

If I had to build a BASIC strategy for determining the d/s orientation of vanilla people, it would go as follows:

Women: all submissive, only in the bedroom.
Men: all switches, 90% dom, 10% sub "I like when she takes control."

Obviously here this system crumbles.  CM is overrepresentative of dominant females and submissive males. 

IN SHORT:  The cultural and stereotypical demands on vanilla subjects are staggeringly powerful. 

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 6:45:51 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		FR

I am a dycotomy in action.  I work as a secretary, but I'm a team leader and initiate many changes-- in essence I play boss but don't have to attend the meetings.  I am politically active, I have many strong opinions and I express them often.  I've been a single mother for years and have actually mostly enjoyed the autonomy that I had in that role (though time and again a tag-team partner would have been appreciated).

I can be the decision maker in a relationship, as a matter of fact, it comes quite naturally when someone doesn't step up to that role in a timely manner, but I don't relish it and I tend to loose respect for the man I'm in a relationship with when I've realized that I've become the dominant in the partnership.  I like deferring in personal relationships, I like to take the jr. partner role or the subservient role.  Doesn't mean that I shut off, I still make decisions and I experss them to him, the difference is that he decides if they are to be implemented or not.

I think part of strenght is knowing where you fit both to be your most happy and to utilize your skills and charecteristics the most.  Sometimes that means for me that I am in charge and other times I sit back and let others lead and it's usually a flowing dynamic based on the needs at the moment.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 6:49:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Lady H, greetings to you!
  ...hmmm... I wonder if Darcy would allow me to send photographs so you can guess for him???Mayhap I shouldn't go there... yikes!
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: an interesting observation... - 4/29/2008 3:21:32 PM   
yournewprincess


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/5/2007
Status: offline 		most of the subs that i have played with  were at least somewhat high in their careers. the in charge people.

(in reply to IamHiisBeloved)
Profile   Post #: 26
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