Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Seeking insights into first slave


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Seeking insights into first slave Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 6:44:14 AM   
ruhdwulf


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I will be collaring someone as my first slave in a few days. I have no trouble keeping her in mental and physical agony/pleasure, but I wonder what insights I might gain into the slave's perspective on the Master/slave relationship and on the mental and physical aspects that would be useful.

Also, as a first slave, what are the pitfalls for a Master?

Our relationship is presently a long distance one, so I want to make the most of our time together. I'm open to insights from slaves or masters about particular methods for expanding the agony/pleasure.

To give you some perspective... we have used nipple torture (clamps), nipple stretchng, anal penetration with my cock and with objects, forced oral, lashes with a leather belt, hot wax, orgasm control, verbal humiliation...

I anticipate binding her to the bed the next time we meet and using a wine bottle on her pussy and ass prior to my using these holes for my cock and some knife play. Knife play is a new area for me. I know she is looking forward to this and to a threesome with another woman that is developing for the future.

Thanks in advance for any insights.

regards,
Ruhdwulf ^..^
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 6:54:36 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Are you looking for insights into scenes and play, or relationship dynamics? They aren't the same thing.

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 9:31:02 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		Hello Sir ruhdwulf,
There are lovely collaring ceremonies available at thefrugaldomme.com. I know you didn't ask, but I thought you might want to check into them as you're collaring her soon.
I love my Master to choose what I wear & how he wants me to act in given situations in public. You could tell her to go to home depot and get a good rope to tie her up with. You can make her tell a clerk what it's for and ask their advice on which one would be best for the task. I was ordered to do that and it was very fun & embarrassing all at once. I think it made the old guys day. I also love blindfolds, needle play, fire play, electricity play, floggers, whips, & bondage. Since you seem to like inserting strange objects in her. What about fruits or vegetable insertions? Cucumbers can be wonderful toys. You could give her orders to act like a pony, dog, pig, kitten or other animals. Another thing that's torture is chastity belts so she can't stimulate herself till you let her.
There are just too many things to list them all, but I hope these ideas help.

Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 10:18:11 AM   
ruhdwulf


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you Suzanne. That's helpful. I will check out the collaring ceremonies.

ruhdwulf

(in reply to plantlady64)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 10:24:56 AM   
ruhdwulf


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		My first interest is in relationship dynamics, but insights into scenes or play are also appreciated.

I know that, especially with a long distance relationship, I need to give her tasks to do when we are apart to keep her focus on her Master and I've already taken some steps in that direction. I intend to ask her to keep a journal and send me her daily musings. She already relates her agony at not having me to touch her and I intend to use this agony to intensify the relationship and further heighten our time together.

I also know that a reliable schedule of contact is important. We meet in YM almost every evening. Here, I think I will break this up so that there is less reliablity. It can have the downside of actually enforcing control on me... which is not desired. I believe I will tell her that I will notify her when I will be in YM and when she should be there.

Any thoughts on these or other issues?

Thanks,
Ruhdwulf ^..^


(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 10:32:11 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruhdwulf
It can have the downside of actually enforcing control on me... which is not desired. I believe I will tell her that I will notify her when I will be in YM and when she should be there.

Reliability is something to foster, not break-up. If you are changing something because you are worried that she would start to control you, what does that really say about your control?

Anything CAN be used to control someone else, I've seen many a sub get upset and emotionally controlling because a dom didn't read a journal regularly or didn't "respond appropriately."

What is it that you consider having control?

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 10:41:21 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i agree with EmeraldSlave. Why would You NOT want her to rely on You? If You suddenly become unreliable, it might do more damage than good. Imho, that would be one very quick way to lose her trust.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 11:03:37 AM   
ruhdwulf


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		In my mind, the controlling part was that I have to be at point X at time Y and that something in my life may intrude. My personal time can be constrained by things that are not in my control. (Part of the reason I like having a slave who IS in my control) I do, however, see your point (and that of Angelic which follows) and will consider amending my view.

In point of fact, if something intruded in my slave's daily life... car trouble, sudden work obligation... and she did not make an appointed time, I would inquire into the reason, but I am understanding of things outside our domain. We all live in a world that doesn't necessarily care about our concept of time and order or anything else.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 11:17:07 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruhdwulf

In my mind, the controlling part was that I have to be at point X at time Y and that something in my life may intrude. My personal time can be constrained by things that are not in my control. (Part of the reason I like having a slave who IS in my control) I do, however, see your point (and that of Angelic which follows) and will consider amending my view.

In point of fact, if something intruded in my slave's daily life... car trouble, sudden work obligation... and she did not make an appointed time, I would inquire into the reason, but I am understanding of things outside our domain. We all live in a world that doesn't necessarily care about our concept of time and order or anything else.



Of course, things DO come up that might make Oone of Yyou miss an appointed time; i was basing my response on Your 'intentional' breaking that feeling of reliability (trust?). Again, just my opinion. And You know what they say about opinions? LOL

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 11:49:42 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

My first interest is in relationship dynamics,


Ruhdwulf,
If this is your primary interest you should have a goal. What is it? What is hers? If you wrote them down without conferring would they be the same? Although this may be a simple compatibility exercise, it could help create a path. If you write it down and refer to it, it becomes a reference. Eventually it could even evolve into "rules" if you use the goals as targets and develop exercises or rituals that achieve either the physical sensation or the emotional/mental state you desire.

Go in with a plan. Not a unilateral one, but one encompassing her goals too. At this point she would not be doing the feared "topping from below". It's already a given that she desires to be submissive to you. You need now to know exactly what that means to her. Then, how far, or how much is she willing to go with you once you've earned and deserve her trust? Is it all the way with "no limits"; or will there always be a part of her life that she won't/can't surrender to you?

I always have felt that the emotional and mental approach to a lifestyle relationship was more important than any physical sensation. If you make a mistake using a toy there may be a physical injury, but the scars for emotional mistakes are far deeper and last much longer. There is nothing wrong with establishing a relationship long distance where you meet and play whenever you can. I would just recommend that you make sure both of you have realistic and similar goals for the emotional and mental aspects of the relationship as well.

One comment on this part of your post:
quote:

Knife play is a new area for me


Knife play encompasses anything from actual blood drawing cutting to just scraping, and scratching. If you have never done it before and have never seen a demo, be careful. Sure there are plenty of sites on the Internet that can tell you about it, but until you do it, you don't know the proper pressure to achieve an effect. Also, take care if you use a knife or other sharp object on a subject bound and blindfolded. A slight touch with a sharp tip, can generate a jerking reaction and result in stab wound. Use a prop appropriate and only as sharp as necessary. And make sure they are clean, and wiped with a disinfectant even if you are only using them to scrape.

An interesting head game, is to show your subject and prepare a variety of sharp knifes, razors and stuff while she watches. Make a bit of a production and go through the whole sharpening and cleaning process, then bind her and blindfold her. Once she can't see - replace the sharp stuff with plastic knifes and other not so lethal implements. she'll never know, and her mind will be in the same place as if you use a scalpel. If you really want to "go for it" heat up some raspberry syrup (or chocolate if you prefer) to a little over room temperature and let her feel it ooze from the "wound" you make. You can even lick it off during the scene. At least the first time you try it she'll never know the difference, and it's much tastier than blood - at least to me.

Good LUCK! HAVE FUN!!!!

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 3:51:52 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If you really want to "go for it" heat up some raspberry syrup (or chocolate if you prefer) to a little over room temperature and let her feel it ooze from the "wound" you make


Though I haven't used them for THIS purpose it seems that small squeeze bottles used for chocolate making/ cake decorating would be very useful for this. (Small version of the large squeeze ketchup/ mustard of old w/ very narrow tip for fluid) You can heat the product in microwave in bottle and then strategically apply.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 4:02:02 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

An interesting head game, is to show your subject and prepare a variety of sharp knifes, razors and stuff while she watches. Make a bit of a production and go through the whole sharpening and cleaning process, then bind her and blindfold her. Once she can't see - replace the sharp stuff with plastic knifes and other not so lethal implements. she'll never know, and her mind will be in the same place as if you use a scalpel. If you really want to "go for it" heat up some raspberry syrup (or chocolate if you prefer) to a little over room temperature and let her feel it ooze from the "wound" you make. You can even lick it off during the scene. At least the first time you try it she'll never know the difference, and it's much tastier than blood - at least to me.

Good LUCK! HAVE FUN!!!!


That is so hot! Knife play is one of my interest, but I sure don't want to be cut for real and I have no interest in either of us tasting blood.


_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/14/2005 4:55:49 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

That is so hot! Knife play is one of my interest, but I sure don't want to be cut for real and I have no interest in either of us tasting blood.


Yeah, but now you know the "secret"! Hope I didn't ruin any play you were planning.

quote:

theRose4U:...that small squeeze bottles used for chocolate making/ cake decorating would be very useful for this.


Now that's a great idea. With a little creative manipulation you can make that tip sharp too. As I said, it's a lot less hazardous and the licking part can be sun and tasty too!

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/17/2005 10:26:52 AM   
ruhdwulf


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for your response Mercnbeth. We have already started on some of your suggestions regarding relationship dynamics.

I'm in complete agreement regarding the importance of the emotional and mental part of the relationship.

Thank you for the advice on knife play. I intent to go very carefully with this. Initially more of a visual show, with some touching and scraping... and the blade appropriately dulled. Your idea of a blindfold is excellent and had not occured to me. This would let me create the visual with something very sharp and use something very dull. I know that getting the blade cold can make a dull blade seem very sharp and add to the effect.

I have no desire to really cut her nor does she have any desire to be cut. Even with a dull blade, I will be sure to disinfect and use carefully.

Thanks again.

ruhdwulf

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/17/2005 11:10:03 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruhdwulf
This would let me create the visual with something very sharp and use something very dull. I know that getting the blade cold can make a dull blade seem very sharp and add to the effect.

I have no desire to really cut her nor does she have any desire to be cut. Even with a dull blade, I will be sure to disinfect and use carefully.

Thanks again.

ruhdwulf

Going through this again- depending on what you are doing, a dull blade can be more dangerous than a sharp blade. I prefer having a sharpened blade because then I know exactly what I am working with- if you have a steady hand and a bound slave, it shouldn't be a problem. A dull blade you can never be sure exactly how/where it's dull and it might even snag inappropriately.

Knife play is a lot like fire play- if your slave actually is ON fire, then something went wrong. It's far more about the mindset.

For more links:

Knife Play

Just how safe is breath and knife play?

Safe knife play

Knife and needle play

Knife play

And please, don't ever put on a cheesy grin and say "Watch out, I might slip and get a nipple"

(in reply to ruhdwulf)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Seeking insights into first slave - 10/17/2005 11:29:20 AM   
AlderTheKitty


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/3/2005
From: Oshawa
Status: offline 		you also have to meet her needs just fulfilling your own might make her feel neglected there is nothing that will make a sub feel unloved like not having there needs as a submissive met and that is a vary easy thing to forget

_____________________________

i am a strong person and will not be pushed around which makes my submission a special gift that few are going to receave

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Seeking insights into first slave Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078