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2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:14:17 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

before i post the questions let me give you the short version of a long story.

i met and chatted with a local dominant from here ...we met in public once ...the next day he dumped me. the reasons (as lame as they are) were from he didn't want to share me with Daddy to i might be confused where my loyalties lay between him and Daddy. oh i should mention, he's married.

fast forward to last week - he contacts me again regretting his rash decision and wants me to come back to him as his princess. i message back in so many words telling him i don't give 2nd chances and if he wants someone special like me back in his life, he must prove himself worthy. today, i was asked to beg to be acccepted again or lose everything i had with him forever.

guess what my answer to him was.

my questions to all - do you give a second chance to someone who dumped you?

would you beg that person in taking you back even though you're not the one who ended the relationhip in the first place?

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

Post #: 1

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:31:36 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

1)Depends on the reason for the dumping. There are always exceptions.
2)Depends on the relationship I have with that person.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 2

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:41:34 PM

lizcgirl

Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline

No way. In any relationship, if the other person ended it before it had a chance to really begin, then tried to demand a second chance by making me beg for it, I would tell them a few choice words I won't put here. He can't offer you everything you need to be with only him, but sees nothing wrong with him having multiple people to please him while denying you what would make you happy.... WAY too one sided for me. Every one deserves what makes them happy.

_____________________________

Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 3

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:45:57 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I don't know i might give them a 2nd chance, but i will be damned if i am gonna beg for it. That aint gonna happen. You want me back maybe you should be begging me to give you a second chance.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to lizcgirl)

Post #: 4

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:50:16 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i had to laugh when he said it was my ego that was preventing me from crawling back to him however it was him who crawled back to me.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lizcgirl)

Post #: 5

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 12:50:34 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

1)Depends on the reason for the dumping. There are always exceptions.
the.dark.

Yep: what they said. I was dumped by a pretend dom who decided against cheating on his girlfriend, and then he called me when he was ready to cheat again(I didn't know about the cheating beforehand). I told him in no uncertain words that I thought he was going to hell, and unless he happened to see me there in a few years, we weren't getting together.
However, if a beginning relationship had to end because of outside circumstances, such as someone really needing to focus on family or work or school, and they just couldn't devote the time to me, I might consider starting up again (depending on how bad my feelings were hurt).

_____________________________

"That's the plan. Rule the world. You and me. Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 6

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 1:00:37 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: katie978

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

1)Depends on the reason for the dumping. There are always exceptions.
the.dark.

Yep: what they said. I was dumped by a pretend dom who decided against cheating on his girlfriend, and then he called me when he was ready to cheat again(I didn't know about the cheating beforehand). I told him in no uncertain words that I thought he was going to hell, and unless he happened to see me there in a few years, we weren't getting together.
However, if a beginning relationship had to end because of outside circumstances, such as someone really needing to focus on family or work or school, and they just couldn't devote the time to me, I might consider starting up again (depending on how bad my feelings were hurt).

if those were the exceptions (highlighted), then i might have taken him back since he was intresting person to chat with however what he told me basically was "it's either Daddy or me ...you cannot have us both". he didn't like the fact he had to share me though had no qualms about sharing himself between me and his wife.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to katie978)

Post #: 7

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 1:07:28 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

If I had a vested interest of many years with someone I would take them back IF it was right for me to do that. But there is no way I would beg someone who dumped me to take me back. Heck. There is no way I would beg him to take me back if I dumped him first. If it isn't mutual, it isn't worth my time.
Kyst

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 8

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:12:27 PM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

Well, you and I already discussed this in messages earlier. I am DEFINITELY a firm believer of not begging to get back into someones good graces under the circumstances you stated. Fuck that. It just makes no sense for you to beg him, when he didnt want you. He needs a life. Or a frontal lobotomy....and a good tasering

_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 9

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:20:32 PM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

I believe in second chances, my Daddy and I gave each other a second chance. We were seperated for a year and we were seeing other people and we missed each other and we were also in a process of a divorce. We realized that the seperation and divorce was a mistake. We are glad we stopped it because our relationship is the strongest it has ever been and I couldn't be happier

. So maybe you should give him a second chance, I wouldn't beg though if it was meant to be than it will happen. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:30:36 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I would question why the change of heart on his part? Slim pickins? Not getting any at home? Realized you were an intelligent vivacious women and he couldnt find anyone who even matched up? Too bad his ego is keeping him from acting appropriaqtely.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)

Post #: 11

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:33:25 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

what happened to me wasn't a mutual breakup.

being unceremoniously dumped after 1 meet without giving it a chance doesn't warrant a second chance in my book. i'm not sounding vindictive here but asking me to beg to take me back ...it's not happening.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)

Post #: 12

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:35:44 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i asked him why the sudden change of heart - i could never get a straight answer out of him except "say yes or no in being my princess again".

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 13

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 2:59:41 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I am never one to make rash decisions so when I call it quits, I mean it and never look back. I would want someone who felt the same way so therefore, if he's going to make such decisions and then decide that he was mistaken that shows me a charecter quick which is incompatible with me. I don't yo-yo and I'm not the yo-yo.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 3:11:10 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I wouldn't beg, but I also wouldn't take the attitude that his reasons were lame. They are perfectly reasonable. He has every right to be concerned that you won't divide your time well or that your loyalties won't fall in a way that will make a good relationship for him, since he does have every right to a relationship that works for him.

That said... if someone dumps me and they want me to beg them... they can look elsewhere. Dominant or not, I'll come back when they prove to me that they want me back.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 4:29:37 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

i have given second chances to someone who dumped me and i'm glad i did...

i have begged to be back with someone who dumped me and i'm glad i did...

thing is, it doesn't matter who dumped who because it's the beginning of something new, and new things always deserve a fresh start...

and fresh starts are borne of desire, and desire can lead to begging...

unless of course, people let their ego's get in the way; then it becomes a matter of stubborn pride and when push comes to shove, both parties lose.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 5:20:52 PM

daddysblondie

Posts: 181
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline

I'm with most everyone else, it depends.

Last year after just a few months together, Daddy dumped me to take a job that was going to require him to travel 80% of the time. We both ended up dating other people. When he ended up single again, he called me. I was single at that point too, and we kinda started new/picked up where we left off. We both agree that it's better this time than it was before. Would I have begged him to take me back, I don't know. If I had been asked that back in January, the answer probably would have been no, but now...

I think we have to keep in mind that situations change, and the passing of time can sometimes give us much needed perspective. I'm seeing it's good to keep an open mind about things. At the same time, I'm not sure that under the circumstances you have described that I would be rushing to get on my knees and beg him to take me back.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 17

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 6:20:41 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

Rather than either of you issuing ultimatums to the other, maybe a good old fashioned heart to heart talk is in order?

Both of you lay out what you need and want, and how that could work with your existing relationships...... and of course any compromises that each of you are willing to make.

I wouldn't beg in this case..... I'd offer to have that heart to heart, and then the ball is in his court.

Best of luck...

(in reply to daddysblondie)

Post #: 18

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 6:22:22 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Rather than either of you issuing ultimatums to the other, maybe a good old fashioned heart to heart talk is in order?

Both of you lay out what you need and want, and how that could work with your existing relationships...... and of course any compromises that each of you are willing to make.

I wouldn't beg in this case..... I'd offer to have that heart to heart, and then the ball is in his court.

Best of luck...

Heart to heart? geez, she only met the guy in person once. She's not salvaging a relationship on its silver anniversary.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 19

RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 7:17:35 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Rather than either of you issuing ultimatums to the other, maybe a good old fashioned heart to heart talk is in order?

Both of you lay out what you need and want, and how that could work with your existing relationships...... and of course any compromises that each of you are willing to make.

I wouldn't beg in this case..... I'd offer to have that heart to heart, and then the ball is in his court.

Best of luck...

Heart to heart? geez, she only met the guy in person once. She's not salvaging a relationship on its silver anniversary.

LOL! I don't mean an emotional heart to heart. I mean a laying it out there sorta conversation..... IF he's someone she actually thinks she'd want to get to know better, etc...

A second attempt isn't worth a poop if they can't agree on any basic foundation or boundaries, especially where their other relationships are concerned.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 20

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