Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: 2nd chances / begging


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: 2nd chances / begging Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 7:31:13 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Rather than either of you issuing ultimatums to the other, maybe a good old fashioned heart to heart talk is in order? 

Both of you lay out what you need and want, and how that could work with your existing relationships...... and of course any compromises that each of you are willing to make.  

I wouldn't beg in this case..... I'd offer to have that heart to heart, and then the ball is in his court.

Best of luck...



Heart to heart? geez, she only met the guy in person once. She's not salvaging a relationship on its silver anniversary.


LOL!  I don't mean an emotional heart to heart.  I mean a laying it out there sorta conversation..... IF he's someone she actually thinks she'd want to get to know better, etc... 

A second attempt isn't worth a poop if they can't agree on any basic foundation or boundaries, especially where their other relationships are concerned. 



he wasn't looking a basic foundation or boundaries for re-establishing whatever we had before. he was more interested in returning to the point where we were before as if nothing happened. telling me that he regretted what he had done and  thought about me doesn't gain my trust back.  to him this was all a simple game to play with my emotions.  on that note, he doesn't deserve a second chance.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 7:48:18 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I totally agree with you.  What is the point in salvaging something that was so fleeting?  One meeting and after months he wants her to beg him?  What a dweeb.  Let his hand do the begging.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Heart to heart? geez, she only met the guy in person once. She's not salvaging a relationship on its silver anniversary.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/29/2008 7:53:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
my questions to all - do you give a second chance to someone who dumped you? 

In THAT type of situation, no.  Do not need the drama or lack of stability.
quote:


would you beg that person in taking you back even though you're not the one who ended the relationhip in the first place?

No, and I wouldn't say they needed to "prove themselves worthy."  That's just again worthless energy and drama.  I don't want to be in a relationship where someone needs to prove themselves, and I certainly won't prove myself.  We will be who we are- he made his choice, and there you go.  Working to prove something to me only makes it worse.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 2:41:25 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

"it's either Daddy or me ...you cannot have us both".  he didn't like the fact he had to share me though had no qualms about sharing himself between me and his wife.


This is Darcy

At the risk of betraying my gender, I just have to say...... *pffft* typical man, wants to have his cake and eat it too...   

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 3:56:18 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

before i post the questions let me give you the short version of a long story.

i met and chatted with a local dominant from here ...we met in public once ...the next day he dumped me. the reasons (as lame as they are) were from he didn't want to share me with Daddy to i might be confused where my loyalties lay between him and Daddy. oh i should mention, he's married.

fast forward to last week - he contacts me again regretting his rash decision and wants me to come back to him as his princess. i message back in so many words telling him i don't give 2nd chances and if he wants someone special like me back in his life, he must prove himself worthy.  today, i was asked to beg to be acccepted again or lose everything i had with him forever.

guess what my answer to him was.

my questions to all - do you give a second chance to someone who dumped you? 

would you beg that person in taking you back even though you're not the one who ended the relationhip in the first place?



i had something very similar happen to me.  some 6 months after i'd declined to stay waiting on someone without knowing where i stood with him, and after i was already with Daddy, he called me and expected to take up where we had left off.  needless to say, it didnt happen.

i wouldnt beg to be with someone who had dumped me for no really good reason.  actually, not go back with anyone who dumped me at all.  asking that we no longer see each other is not the same as being dumped.  "i'm moving, i dont want to string you along"  "i am having to travel a lot for work and dont want you to have to be alone so much"  those are good reasons to not see each other, and if the circumstances changed, i would be willing to at least discuss it.

so it really depends.

kitten

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 6:56:48 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		When some young lady has walked away from what there was between us... it depends on the reasons for it as to whether I am prepaired to give a '2nd chance'.... but mostly I don't and if there was a breach of trust involved then she could beg all she liked, nothing would move Me to giving a second opportunity. Trust is a one shot deal with Me.

However when *I* am the one who drew a line under things, ended it and said "no more"... there is no such thing as a second chance. I don't make decisions lightly in either direction.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 8:04:23 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		this slave has chatted and been on dates with incompatible people before, but never considered it being "dumped" when they weren't interested in pursuing a relationship.
 
chatting with someone (married or not) and meeting once in public isn't the sort of thing this slave would consider to be a "relationship" that either could be "dumped" from, unless it was specifically spelled out that chatting and one meeting = a committed relationship.
 
perhaps this slave is missing the part where a commitment had been made to each other.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 10:46:52 AM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		~fr~
This situation puzzles me. He dumped you because he had a problem with your being attached to your Daddy. He contacted you again, wanting another chance. Then, when you said no, he wanted you to beg him to take you back?

Is this guy mental?

Leaving aside the fact that he's married (which would have been a dealbreaker for me in the beginning), I would think back to what he had said when breaking the budding relationship. If he is concerned that I won't give him his 'due' as compared with another man in my life, I would doubt that the intervening time would have changed his mind. I doubt that he spent that time regretting the impulse that sent you  away.

And the part about begging. You may be a sub, but you don't have to beg to someone who isn't beg-worthy.

pip, all IMO

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 2:48:18 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		not to worry, pip, i don't expect him to try a 3rd time

thank you everyone for your comments


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Poetryinpain)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 4/30/2008 2:52:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Demanding you beg him was ridiculous. If he had come back saying that before he couldn't deal with you not being totally free to commit, but now he is, and would like to start talking to you again that might have been enough for you to meet him for coffee or lunch and start seeing if you could now be compatible. But he never addressed the issues that had caused him to decide you couldn't have a relationship in the first place. Which tells me that those issues will come up again and end in the same way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/1/2008 6:55:08 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		When I said I needed you
You said that you would play
It wasn't me who changed
But won't share you with Daddy
But don't you know that now you're gone
And I cannot be a Dom
Now I have to follow you
And make you beg to come back
You don't have to say you love me
Just get on your knees
You don't have to stay forever
Just say pretty please
Just beg me
Just beg me
I just want to dom you
But believe I'll only tie you up

Left you alone
But it came to me
My brain is dead
But I try to feel
All that's left is domliness
I can make it real
You don't have to say you love me
Just get on your knees
You don't have to stay forever
Just say pretty please
Just beg me
Just beg me
Oh ou don't have to say you love me
Just get on your knees
You don't have to stay forever
Just say pretty please
Just beg me
Just beg me
Just beg me....

apologies to Elvis Presley..

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/1/2008 7:04:56 PM   
BBWnNC72


Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline 		my question is: were you with your Daddy when you started talking to this "Dom"? And if so, why would He want to talk to you in the first place if He didnt want to share you with someone else and knew you had a Daddy.

i wouldn't beg anyone to take me back if they were the one to dump me for a reason like that, especially after one meet. Now if i was in the wrong and they dumped me, i might beg and plead if i really wanted to have that relationship but never for their indecisiveness.

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.


(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/1/2008 7:06:30 PM   
Indemnis


Posts: 179
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I dunno about dumping, but I've given a second chance to someone who was cheating.  He was the only one, though. 
If someone dumped me outright, though, particularly for silly reasons, that'd be that.  No second chances there.  At least if a guy knows you're gonna catch him cheating, there's a *chance* he'll feel bad enough, or be scared enough (*snicker*) to quit doing it.  But to me with this guy, it sounds that chances are he had something he considered 'better', and lost it, then tried to 'settle' back with you. 

_____________________________

No-one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned-- Pete Townshend

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/1/2008 7:06:46 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Fuck no-my exes are exes for a REASON.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/1/2008 7:10:21 PM   
shahla00


Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline 		Noway!!! He dumped you because he is a fool. Don't go begging back. Find someone else!


Just remember they do it once they do it again.

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/2/2008 7:29:54 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		so stella when are you cutting a demo?

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/2/2008 7:33:26 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWnNC72

my question is: were you with your Daddy when you started talking to this "Dom"? And if so, why would He want to talk to you in the first place if He didnt want to share you with someone else and knew you had a Daddy.


Daddy and i have a ldr which i have permission to meet other local dominants.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to BBWnNC72)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/6/2008 6:07:31 PM   
Ebonybbw


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

my questions to all - do you give a second chance to someone who dumped you? 

would you beg that person in taking you back even though you're not the one who ended the relationhip in the first place?



Hell naw!!  I don't go backwards... He dumped you once, he'll dump you again... Move on sweetie.. his LOST!!!

_____________________________

Mistress Ebony
Miami's Newest Supersized Domme
http://yourebonybbw.googlepages.com/mistressebony

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/6/2008 6:24:02 PM   
deliteme


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/2/2008
From: Melbourne AUstralia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i asked him why the sudden change of heart - i could never get a straight answer out of him except "say yes or no in being my princess again".   


Sounds to me like you are well rid of him. He sounds the jealous, grabby type to me.

Dumping after one meet and now..he wants you to BEG HIM... ffs tell him to take a long walk off a short pier.

IF you had been playing for a while and IF there had been a real reason for the split and IF you think he is worth it then MAYBE give him a whirl.

Just my thought


_____________________________

Chainmaille...metal and pliers..I am in heaven...

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: 2nd chances / begging - 5/6/2008 7:14:33 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

 my questions to all - do you give a second chance to someone who dumped you?  
        "Dumped", that particular word may be a bit strong. After breaking up, yes i've dated someone again.   i have, if the reason for being 'dumped' is something like family issues...which can be proven; maybe they finally got that much talked about divorce, for instance. i have had people move away due to work issues, then when a project is over, and they're back in town, we re-connect,
or they get parolled or are allowed work release on the weekends....

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: 2nd chances / begging Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078