gypsygrl -> RE: Cathartic BDSM (4/29/2008 3:15:32 PM)
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quote:
hmm lots of people looking, but no one posting Yeah. Its one of those things, along with a spiritual approach to this stuff, that I want to explore, but am totally out of my league when talking about it. I'm not even sure if I'm thinking about catharsis in the right way, like, am I understanding the word correctly. Its like, I had a vision once a couple years ago during a really long and intense SM scene right at the end before I completely collaspsed into sobbing tears. I was a relative newbie and had no idea that could happen but the vision solidified for me something I had been struggling with on only a partly conscious level. The vision was like, a perfect image of my inner conflict and afterwards, I felt totally relieved of some burden I hadn't, until then, really acknowledged carrying. Technically, it was a perfect scene but wasn't something I was willing to do again because, well, it scared me that I had taken such a heavy beating. I was fine the next day even though I was heavily marked (lots of bruises and cuts) but I was still kind of shocked by my own masochism. Since then, I've never been quite able to play at that level of intensity 'cause I haven't been able to work through the fear.
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