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Hardest Decision in life? - 4/29/2008 9:36:41 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		What was the hardest desicion you have ever had to make in life? What did you choose, and why?

Mine was the desicion to put my daughter up for adoption. I look back on it now, and I know I did the right thing. She has a happy home with two wonderful, loving parents, instead of the angry, unstable home with her birthmother and I. Doesnt make it any easier though. I miss my little girl. Her adoptive parents allow me to see her about once a month, and I swear it gets harder to leave her every time I go. She's the sweetest thing in the world. I know I did right though. At the time, I was 19, no job, no real future, and in a relationship with a woman that turned out to be a jealous psychopath.

I cant tell you how many nights Ive spent crying, worrying over this. Its been almost a year now...

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/29/2008 9:47:14 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs* Geoff

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/29/2008 9:49:06 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		to stop being a 200 lb fat depressed unhealthy male.... and be the beautiful petite woman i was born.

kinda hard knowing that your female and cant do anything about it since there is no information or testing was available during the time that i really wanted to come out... 70s and 80s.  but now...tons of available info and many dr's.

and testing proving that i am in fact biologically female with the parts inside of me...was a relief from having the confused look as a 7 year old..wondering why i thought i was female.  also proving many things like why i had pms which no dr could explain when i was a kid.

imagine if i was able to find out when i was a toddler or teenager.  my friends and family may not have left me.  they are homophobic and assumed i was a gay male...but eh i dont date men in the first place!!  though its the usual assumption of one like me..

then there is the choice of getting tattoo's.  because of my heart condition i was warned and some places wont tattoo you with heart issues.  i thought for sure i would bleed like hell (part of my condition is low platelettes) and bruise up and swell up and infection.  none of that occurred.


< Message edited by faerytattoodgirl -- 4/29/2008 9:50:33 PM >

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/29/2008 10:09:33 PM   
burningdesires47


Posts: 120
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Having an abortion at 17, even after finding out it was twins, but knowing I couldn't take care of them and being too afraid to tell my family what a mistake I'd made. Going to get the consultation and finding out that neither the babies nor I could live thru a full term pregnancy didn't make me feel any better. Even when I found out later that their father had been in jail not 8 months before that for molesting a 3 year old. Especially when I found out years later that the reason I wouldn't have lived was not the case, it just would have been a hard pregnancy (but would have solved a LOT of my body's issues, at the cost of... what? every experience I've had since that has made me a better parent for my future children).

Either that, or deciding at age 18 not to press charges against the man who molested me for three years as a child because I was too afraid of the family drama, although I insisted he seek therapy, as did I. Possibly harder than that was deciding not to hold on to the hurt and the anger and let it go, to find peace. We're family again, but there's no way in hell he'll ever babysit my kids....


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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/29/2008 10:24:02 PM   
bIondegirl


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Status: offline 		divorce

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 3:41:30 AM   
Level


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Status: offline 		Putting my mom in a mental health facility after she had a stroke, years ago. Fortunately, with work, she got better.

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 5:34:36 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		hardest decision came when i was barely 21.  i gave the doctors permission to pull the plug on my fiance (a year before meeting my ex) after he suffered a brain aneurism during an asthma attack.  i held his hand apologizing as i watched him die. that was over 10 yrs ago and some days it still haunt me.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 4/30/2008 5:36:53 AM >

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 5:38:50 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
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Status: offline 		<<<<<HUGS to ALL>>>>> You all are such STRONG people to make these decisions!  Nothing I've done compares to what you've been thru so I'll keep my trivial thoughts to myself. 

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 6:09:19 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

<<<<<HUGS to ALL>>>>> You all are such STRONG people to make these decisions!  Nothing I've done compares to what you've been thru so I'll keep my trivial thoughts to myself. 


Pot...meet kettle. You made the decision to give up 2 kittens you ADORE because it is the best thing for them. You too are strong, Babe.


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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 6:14:30 AM   
GreedyTop


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quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

<<<<<HUGS to ALL>>>>> You all are such STRONG people to make these decisions!  Nothing I've done compares to what you've been thru so I'll keep my trivial thoughts to myself. 


I agree.  *hugs*

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 6:26:38 AM   
MMistress


Posts: 80
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: N.E. Ohio
Status: offline 		Geoff, I understand your pain on a very personal level. I wasn't going to respond to this thread but felt I needed to do so. I gave my son up for adoption at birth and it's been over 20 years ago. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him and don't expect that to change. As hard of a decision that yours was, you have the benefit of knowing it was the right thing to do, but it doesn't go without pain that accompanies that decision. Hugs!


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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 7:35:01 AM   
parttimehotty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

<<<<<HUGS to ALL>>>>> You all are such STRONG people to make these decisions!  Nothing I've done compares to what you've been thru so I'll keep my trivial thoughts to myself. 


Pot...meet kettle. You made the decision to give up 2 kittens you ADORE because it is the best thing for them. You too are strong, Babe.



<<smooches>> Thanks, girlfriend.

Geoff, I can almost understand what you're going thru...I had a baby when I was 17 and had decided to give her up for adoption also, made all the plans, moved to a Maternity home so the neighbors wouldn't know, gave birth on May 8th, unfortunately, during labor, when the Dr's broke my water for me, they saw meconium fluid leaking out, did an emergency delivery, but she did not survive.  Back then, they didn't have "open adoptions" like they do now. Be thankful that you can see your child and know that she is doing well and is very happy. 


< Message edited by parttimehotty -- 4/30/2008 7:36:02 AM >

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 7:56:48 AM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		My hardest decision was whether to keep my daughter when I got pregnant last year. I knew I would be the only one to take care of her and that I would have no help, but I just couldn't let her go. Everyone tells me I am a better person for it, and I hope that she has the best I can give her. 

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 8:13:03 AM   
mzbehavin


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		Slips in* Big hugs to everyone who allows one. Mine was divorce also. Blessings and love. xoxo

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 8:14:50 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Letting someone else’s kids into my heart and family
 
Letting a love go because I was not what she needed in life
 
Trying to decide which is the most Domly vehicle

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 8:17:12 AM   
TJsCheekypet


Posts: 109
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline 		wow..which one should i choose? ...none! ((hugs)) to everyone brave enough to put theirs here tho.

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 8:38:35 AM   
FlamingRedhead


Posts: 451
Joined: 3/4/2007
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		When I got divorced, my ex wanted primary guardianship.  I wanted out of the marriage as quickly and painlessly as possible.  After threats of making trouble for me at my job and telling me his sister who had just sold a $300,000+ home would be paying his legal fees, I caved in and let him have primary custody of our son.  I didn't want to, but I didn't know if I could fight him and win.  Now, I've decided it was wrong to let him bully me, and I'm saving up to get a lawyer this fall for when I can take him to court.  My son is a daddy's boy, so I don't know if my son would resent me getting him back or love me for it.  All I know is that I won't let my son ever think I didn't want him and was too damn chickenshit to fight for him.

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 10:23:10 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		12 yrs ago the man I was in a relationship with tried to kill me.
I was living in FL.
My family wanted me to move back home (MA).

I didn't. I stayed where I was, got a job and lived there for almost 5 yrs.
Going home would have been too easy.

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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 11:00:08 AM   
parttimehotty


Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

12 yrs ago the man I was in a relationship with tried to kill me.
I was living in FL.
My family wanted me to move back home (MA).

I didn't. I stayed where I was, got a job and lived there for almost 5 yrs.
Going home would have been too easy.


(((((Hugs my Angel)))))

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Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
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RE: Hardest Decision in life? - 4/30/2008 11:09:31 AM   
spinninsweetness


Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline 		Firstly, much much respect to you lot.

My toughest decision was to leave my comfortable existance at home in Cornwall with my parents and strike out, move to London, get a job and live life. May not seem like much but at age 24 with no friends or aquantances, no job and no life outside my four walls its a HUGE thing. I'm so glad I did it! I could see living at home on the dole till.... I dont know, the end I suppose. Which I'm glad I didnt!

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