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Life is not a hamburger. - 4/29/2008 10:38:57 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		We see it time and again. The rush to sex and collars, the drama of hooking up and breaking up. And it usually doesn't take too long. It's like fast food.

I've seen it in local real life communities too-gets so they can't go anywhere without running across an ex. Why do you think people are so hasty and heedless in this arena?

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/29/2008 10:51:09 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		"We are more in love with desire than the desired" -something I read on the back of When Nietszche Wept (or whatever that movie was called I was browsing at Blockbuster earlier)

I think a lot of people are more interested in the dynamics and the kink and less interested in finding a compatible partner.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/29/2008 11:01:25 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

"We are more in love with desire than the desired" -something I read on the back of When Nietszche Wept (or whatever that movie was called I was browsing at Blockbuster earlier)

I think a lot of people are more interested in the dynamics and the kink and less interested in finding a compatible partner.


That is pretty much my take as well. I think it's that they try to objectify relationships. Very odd, it probably explains why stereotypes are so popular..

One from column a..
 
One from column b....
 
Do you want fries with that, how about a flogger?

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/29/2008 11:12:47 PM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline 		I wonder if sometimes these people don't feel worthy of who they think they are compatible with and then just run to whatever will have them for right now.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/29/2008 11:13:16 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

People fall in lust as well as love. Sometimes it's lust for a particular type of relationship that you thought you would never be able to achieve and only later realize that this isn't the person for you. Sometimes people think that they are ok with things they later realize they aren't. Sometimes people really want to be ok with something that they just aren't.

It's hard to take things slow when emotions are high and everything feels so good. I suspect things have always been this way, but people were somewhat more held back by social conventations (the shunning of those who left their partners) and lack of birth control. My private theory anyway.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 1:09:07 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with the Lust confusion ... but I also believe we've become used to instant gratification just like that Hamburger. 
Not only do we want, what we want NOW we also tend to belive we deserve it.  I hate to admit it but at least in the US
we've become a society that feels entitled. 


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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:31:45 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Hamburger??? I thought that life was like a box of chocolates.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:34:45 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Hamburger??? I thought that life was like a box of chocolates.


Nah. Its a bowl of cherrries. Just watch out for the pits.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:36:38 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It's not a BDSM thing.  It's a life thing.  People fall in and out of relationships, have sex, rush into shit.  You could go down the local pub and bump into someones ex.  It's not a 'community or lifestyle' thang, it's life.
People have grown used to wanting and getting it now.  Commercialism and consumerism doesn't stop at the latest TV or fast food establishment.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:38:37 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Nah. Its a bowl of cherrries. Just watch out for the pits.


Oooo... that just gave me a Jack Nicholson moment...
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:41:38 AM   
MissLily


Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline 		The euphoria of being in love can be very addictive. Seriously. It's the same chemicals that are being released as when you get stone. So I think people are in love with love because they like the high of it.

When it wears out, they realise they don't have much in common with the other person. It doesn't work out and it's over.

Add to that the fact that they are fishing in a small community, and then you end up with the sort of situation you talked about.

Also, the urge to submit for subs and to dominate for tops is very strong. Might add to the urge of falling in love.

Just a thought,
Miss Lily

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:45:07 AM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		Short term gratification over long term gratification. The  'I have to have it now or I'm gonna die' attitude, that if they don't 'settle' on at least someone they find  can meet  a portion of their needs they will never find the right person.
At times I think I need score cards to keep up who is who who since there seems to be a constant shuffle. I've also found the people who Dom/sub hop are either open about the fact they  don't want anything long term or they are looking  but  not in the right place and the first person that is even remotly close to what they think they want/need that comes along they jump at it.  Some people are  drawn to the drama, even thrive on it.  Personaly I take a collar as serious as a wedding ring, it's a commitment and not something you do lightly.  Life is full of drama as it is, watching adults regress back to Junior High level antics with  'he said-she said' after the break-ups is always sad and never looks good for anyone.

Wolf's denika

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:46:56 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Nah. Its a bowl of cherrries. Just watch out for the pits.


Oooo... that just gave me a Jack Nicholson moment...
 
the.dark.

 
 
REDRUM
 
 
Mwaaaahahaha

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:50:17 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		At the risk of hijacking...
Seriously funny.... AngryBunnies
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 4:59:05 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm a little dumb founded at times by how people hook up and break up constantly. Mind you, I myself have rushed into things with somebody if it feels right to me.  However, I don't go in/out of relationships like some people change their underwear.  

Still, none the less, I am guilty of doing this from time to time.  Physical attraction and having gone without sex for awhile.  LOL...  On another level is the kink factor, it's not every day when other kinky people connect with other kinky people.   I've personally, not persued things with vanilla girls because of the lack of interests in kink on their end.   However, I've been rather taken in by those that respond well to kinky jokes, comments and remarks. 

All in all, sure I've had my share of hamburgers in life, I think nearly everybody has at some point in time.  Some of the Hamburgers with 100% beef and tasted good, others at a lot left to be desired.

There are times, when I've finally hooked up with somebody I've known for a few years and it was not all that great, other times it was.

I've noticed that a lot of the vanillas rush in/out of relationships as well for the same reasons.  Due to physical attraction and the fact that they have some basic common interests involved. 

So in all honestly, I don't believe this is a lifestyle issue, and is just part of human nature itself.   What would happen if everybody stopped eating hamburgers?  I'm certain some really excellent relationships got started from hamburgers.


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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 5:15:02 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Although it seems to be so in the vanilla world, I believe it we see it more in this Life--people use the titles ( as was mentioned in a similar thread)--as a mask, a cloak--to hide from the realities of life, believing that because they "fit" one half of the equation---all the necessary relationship work has been washed away--"because I am Dominant, I can "dictate" and no one argues", "because i am submissive, someone else does the thinking"--the magical moment of "arrival" appears when the word collar is mentioned--
 
foolish, foolish---sad really that people seem to think there are ways around the basics of a relationship that will lead to perpetual happiness.
 
I also beleive that many people think this is a live action game---Dungeons and Dominants--with the sole objective to seek and destroy, financial and physical rape under the guise of "seeking".

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 5:17:05 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I actually don't see it much in real life -- online yes.. but not off so much in my local community.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 5:23:06 AM   
lauren0221


Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline 		I must be getting mature, or something - as much as I understand the attraction of a hamburger - fast, easily available, kills your hunger - a real meal is truly much more fulfilling.

It depends on what you're looking for as well - some people really like fast food.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 5:33:27 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Sends lauren some hambuger helper. I have actualy met subs at McDonalds. That dose'nt sound right. Mabey I should meet them at sub shops.

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RE: Life is not a hamburger. - 4/30/2008 6:08:26 AM   
flowered


Posts: 42
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		 I can't speak for others, but whereas in vanilla I would wait for someone or an opportunity go by, because I know one always does, with bdsm, the chances of a big, attractive, likes to ties me up and make me cry type of guy passing by as an opportunity- I probably wouldn't recognize it.

How DO you know? o.0

So if you know you won't find what you want by waiting in the vanilla world, you search on here. Actively search or nothing happens.

Actively searching = dating more people


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