Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

a pondrance


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> a pondrance Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:23:42 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		trying not to sound like WIITWD is something mysical, special or superior to others.  However something occured to me today when refecting on a couple of things in my life.

m'Lord is not monogamous, he's been upfront and honest from the get go and I had the choice to accept or walk away.  Therefore he knows when he tells me that he is going to do something with someone else that I won't blow a nut.  That goes against cultural conditioning in this society as we are supposed to expect monogamy from our partners, extra curricular activities are supposed to be done on the sligh, we are supposed to be deeply offended and we are supposed to hold on the our SO as if they were a prized possesion that we won't share with the other kids in the sandbox.

Yesterday he told me that he wanted to engage in an activity and then come see me and my first thought was "goody, he'll show up horney" again this is something that women are told in this society that we are supposed to be hurt and offended when men participate.  The men in the vanilla world engage in this activity usually by sneaking around behind their partners back.

Pornography is another taboo issue in much of the culture the surrounds us.  In many churches is it strongly advides that pornography is a sin, that women should stand firm and not let their men engage in this activity.  Women learn that we are supposed to feel hurt when men look at another women, especially a naked one.

It seems to me that an advantage of WIITWD might just be that we accept human nature and we don't constrain people to lies and sneaking around to fufil natural needs.  We might just be more open and honest in allowing others to be themselves rather then conforming to societal constraints.

Of course this is all a very broad brush that I paint with and I also recognize that there are people who don't identify with WIITWD who are accepting of the above points.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:29:52 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Of course this is all a very broad brush that I paint with and I also recognize that there are people who don't identify with WIITWD who are accepting of the above points.


And there are also a lot of people who do identify with WIITWD who are NOT accepting of the above points. Jealousy seems to run as rampantly here as it does in the nilla.....and sometimes I even think that there are more people here who are less emotionally mature about such issues. Maybe that is because we talk about it here and everyone preaches about acceptance and tolerance....and suddenly it's in your face and even though you "said" you were fine with it, there can come a real time here when it's actually in your face and you have to find a way to deal with it.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:32:36 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		very true.

I guess I was just thinking from my own paradigm.  At one point when I belonged to a church there was actually a meeting talking about pornography and even then I was thinking "what's the big deal".

When he mentioned his activity and when he mentioned that he wasn't going to be monogamous I did think "society has taught me that I should be hurt and angry, but I'm not".

Maybe it's just me.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:43:34 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think that it is Society as a whole. Just part of Society you suscribe to.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:46:50 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I don't subscribe to society, I loathe subscriptions.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:48:37 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I am a firm believer that when we do not feel an activity is wrong or bad or negative an impact on our lives, but a positive one, then that is because we have extinguished guilt over that subject.
It rocks when freed from guilt.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:49:43 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I am a firm believer that when we do not feel an activity is wrong or bad or negative an impact on our lives, but a positive one, then that is because we have extinguished guilt over that subject.
It rocks when freed from guilt.
 
the.dark.

 
I love that!  Awesome insight.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 11:57:19 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
It seems to me that an advantage of WIITWD might just be that we accept human nature and we don't constrain people to lies and sneaking around to fufil natural needs.  We might just be more open and honest in allowing others to be themselves rather then conforming to societal constraints.

Does thou speak of the natural order verse socially acceptable morals? 

β€œDo what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law"
-Aleister Crowley (The Book of the Law)

Morals are a reflection of geography
-Marquee De Sade
 
...or something close that.  It is from memory when I was 13 and reading things like that. De Sade's point was simple, morals change in time and location.  I can give an example, in the middle east thieves are scum that get their hands cut off.  In the US we idolize old fashioned bank robbers like heros.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 12:32:28 PM   
IamHiisBeloved


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/28/2008
Status: offline 		i know stupid question... but what does WIITWD stand for? I know most acronyms but this one is escaping me at the moment.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 12:39:00 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe, just maybe, if everyone who is living a lie came out og the closet about WIITWD then almost everyone would be doing it and then where would we be?
we would be WIITED....what it is that everybody does.
WIITED is easier to remember .......


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 12:39:44 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

WIITWD

"What it is that we do"



_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to IamHiisBeloved)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 12:39:57 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		what it is that we do
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to IamHiisBeloved)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 12:40:10 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IamHiisBeloved

i know stupid question... but what does WIITWD stand for? I know most acronyms but this one is escaping me at the moment.

Wishing it is the Walmart Department
Wanking is inherently the wettest dream


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 4/30/2008 12:41:34 PM >

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to IamHiisBeloved)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 1:34:59 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I must be doing it wrong.  I am a monogamous person and the men in my life have been monogamous while with me.  As for honesty, I would expect that regardless of whether we engaged in a bdsm relationship.
This doesnt have anything to do WIITWD as far as I can tell.  It is just what you willing to accept in your life.  I was married at one time and living a more or less nilla life.  My ex fooled around since before we were married, during, and I am sure he still is with his 4th wife.  It was ok with me, as long as he kept it discrete because I didn't love him even when we walked down that aisle.
BDSM has nothing to do with our ability to be accepting. 
Kyst

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 1:39:34 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The problem with porn is that it can so easily be used to separate men from being able to have relationships with real women.
Real women don't look barely legal with fake high breasts when they're in their forties. Real women aren't always horny at the drop of a hat. Real women get stomach viruses, suffer from lack of sleep, get irritated because they're SO didn't fix the sink like he promised to. Unlike in porn, not every woman is always ready for no lube, hard anal.

Porn says that sexual arousal isn't affected by any of the above and that's a lie.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 1:51:14 PM   
hydranmenace


Posts: 52
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline 		True, but hard anal with no lube is a whole lot of fun. I especially like that cute pained face and the tears.
I agree with the overall thought on porn though. If someone went overboard with the stuff, it could make it harder to keep a check on reality. You can't completely blame porn though, any more than you can blame violence on video games. Sure they could have an effect, but it comes down to personal responsibility in the end. It's your job to keep your head on straight.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 1:51:27 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah I have to agree about the porn part.  Its not very realistic.  No one has issues.. well.. except for a few guys I have observed which might benefit from a small blue pill.  Oddly, having a limp weenie in a bdsm type porn flick isn't as uncommon as I would have thought.
That said.. <g> I do enjoy porn even though it is unrealistic.  It is something you can view without a partner and take care of business without considering chunky spunk, aroma, taste, or flab.
LOL
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

β€œThe truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 2:15:17 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Maybe it's just me.


It isn't just you, but neither I think is it genericaly 'We'. There are some VERY closed-minded folks around even within WIITWD... but there is also many who are not.

I think the percentages of those willing to accept non-sociataly-standard approaches are maybe a bit larger within WIITWD for the same reason as the same applies within Pagan groupings or Poly groupings.... because once You challenge one societal norm it makes it more likely that You will go on to challenge others, coming away from what You are taught from birth is 'right and wrong' and actualy forming Your Own opinion contrary to that taught behaviour...... hence the higher percentage of Poly Pagan kinksters around the place.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 2:20:14 PM   
SimplySubmissive


Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Of course this is all a very broad brush that I paint with and I also recognize that there are people who don't identify with WIITWD who are accepting of the above points.


And there are also a lot of people who do identify with WIITWD who are NOT accepting of the above points. Jealousy seems to run as rampantly here as it does in the nilla.....and sometimes I even think that there are more people here who are less emotionally mature about such issues. Maybe that is because we talk about it here and everyone preaches about acceptance and tolerance....and suddenly it's in your face and even though you "said" you were fine with it, there can come a real time here when it's actually in your face and you have to find a way to deal with it.


I am monogamous, and look for that in relationships. I am not tolerant of others (cheating)  in my relationship.
I don't think it makes me less mature emotionally, nor does it make me a jealous person.
It's just what works  best for me. I don't beleive one way is better, more "enlightened" than another.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: a pondrance - 4/30/2008 3:57:38 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplySubmissive

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Of course this is all a very broad brush that I paint with and I also recognize that there are people who don't identify with WIITWD who are accepting of the above points.


And there are also a lot of people who do identify with WIITWD who are NOT accepting of the above points. Jealousy seems to run as rampantly here as it does in the nilla.....and sometimes I even think that there are more people here who are less emotionally mature about such issues. Maybe that is because we talk about it here and everyone preaches about acceptance and tolerance....and suddenly it's in your face and even though you "said" you were fine with it, there can come a real time here when it's actually in your face and you have to find a way to deal with it.


I am monogamous, and look for that in relationships. I am not tolerant of others (cheating)  in my relationship.
I don't think it makes me less mature emotionally, nor does it make me a jealous person.
It's just what works  best for me. I don't beleive one way is better, more "enlightened" than another.




I hope I didn't imply that because a person makes one choice over another that that person is more or less enlightened.  I'm all about people following what works for them.

Now I may say that the person who figures themselves out and follows their individual path is more enlightened then someone who follows a path because it's what's expected or it's what their parents did or what would the neighbors think if they didn't do it that way.



_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to SimplySubmissive)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> a pondrance Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109