quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

Level,
You are too sweet.....Yes, actually last Thursday night when it happened i couldn't figure out if i had a right to feel the way i did or not...Or if it was just a result of the rape...i talked to a wonderful woman from my EAP who assured me even if i didn't have the experience of the rape, i'd more than likely be alarmed and offended at his behavior...i went in and saw her the next day...She's on vacation this week...i can't see her again until a week from Friday..
i even tried calling the old therapist i saw from the rape crisis program in the old community i used to live in.
Kali

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

Sorry for being the asshole, but from what you've said, It doesn't sound like his intention was to intimidate you.

I've worked in more than a few places, and raised tempers over disputes happen. They just do. Unless he did something other than raise his voice, and keep talking for 90 seconds, I'd say this is your problem.

Maybe the guy is a bad worker, I don't know, but from what you said, It does sound like you are being over sensitive to the event.

Unless something was left out.

Every single place I've worked has had an event like you described. Worker gets disciplined, worker doesn't agree, worker has a verbal battle with the perceived assailant

Anyway, I'd guess unless you just hire all women, and I've been yelled at by female workers to, you're going to have another situation like this again, because it happens, occasionally.

Just my two cents based on partial information.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

i'm a firm believer in 'we teach people how to treat us', and i don't think it's my responsibility to ensure he likes this or understands it, it's simply my responsibility to let him know where my limits are. Which include: he may not enter my office unaccompanied, we will not meet or discuss anything alone on the 2nd floor, he will only get one time of being told anything if he continues to push....the conversation is done and i'm getting up and leaving the room, he will continue to be held accountable, i will treat him with grace and dignity.. And here are the other things: i truly believe that my internal response was a direct corelation to the rape itself. Having said that, however, it does not negate the way he treated me or acted towards me. i've decided i'm not going to share that with my supervisor at this time because i need his actions to stand on their own.  The last thing i want to do is be labeled as some 'hysterical victim'...UGH...
i think that's everything....i truly and deeply want to thank everyone for their advice, encouragement, truth, etc.
Kali

Well said, Kali. I think you're going to do fine. I'd still can him, though.