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Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 11:30:52 AM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		...is what exactly in your mind? I've seen a lot of Dominants express their love for it, but am not sure what it really means.

Is it purely figurative? The state of your submissive's mind toward you? An inablity to do something contrary to what you want or instruct?

Or something with some physical aspects like you telling them to assume a certain position, or not to move despite what you might do to him?

How would it differ from simple obedience or desire to what pleases you?
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 1:05:14 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego
Or something with some physical aspects like you telling them to assume a certain position, or not to move despite what you might do to him?


Bingo.  That's it in a nutshell.  Of course, the trick is to put the sub in a Catch-22 situation.  She can't move no matter how good it feels or I stop.  Or she can't move no matter how much it hurts or I won't permit her to have an orgasm later.  She has to control herself in the moment in order to get the reward.  I increase the intensity of sensation as time goes by or change sensations suddenly to make it more difficult to stay still.
 
I have a pair of bellydancer's bracelets with little bells on them.  They jingle with even the slightest movement.  I like to put them on a sub's wrists to make sure she doesn't move even a little while I'm concentrating on some other portion of her anatomy.

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 1:20:18 PM   
elegantdeviance


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Mental bondage exists...
With mental bondage, the submissive is held in place by the will of the Dominant, using no fetters.  It is an intense form of bondage because the submissive must rely on his own will to perform the will of the Dominant.  Bondage is much easier on the submissive when actual fetters are used.  It removes all choice from the submissive, making them subject to the Dominant's desires without having to exert any self-control.  Most submissives who are into bondage prefer this.

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 3:22:37 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		What they said. Yes.

(in reply to elegantdeviance)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 6:42:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Agreed.  Recently, I was playing with My boy at a local party.  I had him up on the cross, in his leather restraints.  What you have to understand about My sub is that he stands 6'3" and is well over 200 lbs.  Meaning, he absolutely had the ability to move that cross around, even when he was bound to it.  (The thing was hooked by chains to the wall.)

This wasn't exactly the safest thing, if he got carried away in his movements.  There was one time that I absolutely thought the cross was going to come off of the wall.  In My very stern voice, I told him, "If you don't keep that cross where it belongs, you're going to regret it."  A very good way to resolve the issue and enjoy the power I have over him.  Nothing like that extra thrill of control.

Truth be told, I actually prefer mental bondage to rope.  Anybody can tie a knot.  It's better to have power.


_____________________________

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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/2/2008 8:26:27 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		May i also add it is so much tougher VS straining against bonds .When i am told do not move no matter what  and the bonds are just her tone and voice -oooh my just makes me fly and more .

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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 12:41:53 AM   
DelilahDeb


Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: elegantdeviance

Mental bondage exists...
With mental bondage, the submissive is held in place by the will of the Dominant, using no fetters. It is an intense form of bondage because the submissive must rely on his own will to perform the will of the Dominant. Bondage is much easier on the submissive when actual fetters are used. It removes all choice from the submissive, making them subject to the Dominant's desires without having to exert any self-control. Most submissives who are into bondage prefer this.


While playing with a sub some time ago, he was stretched out on a massage table on his back, and his chest was just wide enough that his arms were trying to fall off when he relaxed. Well, I wanted him relaxed, so I told him just to tuck his thumbs under the edge of his hips (I've done this for myself when being massaged, just because having to hold your arms in place isn't relaxing.)

Another night, we were playing and when he turned face up he used that posture on his own. It wasn't until the CBT got quite intense that he said something about "I can't move"...and I had not used any rope that night. Mental bondage at its best.

Delilah Deb

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(in reply to elegantdeviance)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 12:46:04 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Simon says........

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I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 1:05:34 AM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		grah. Mental bondage is NOT a favourite of mine.

*grumbles*

(in reply to Leatherist)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 1:23:55 AM   
Skully7000


Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline 		depends on the scene: I love using the quiet dirty Daddy voice in their ear  "now don't you dare move____" or  " this is a very sharp knife i'm scraping the wax off with...and you are squirming way to much... if you don't stop I may just cut your little nipple off" (which usually gets the wax to just slide rright off from the body heat;)

I love that aspect.

what I don't love is repeating myself... I said keep your hands Up.... ahh your putting them down... what did I just say...

obviously if they are purposely not trying hard enough..we have other problems... but if say I'm tickling them and they just can't follow the orders...then hell give me my rope damn it...

cheers
Skully  

(in reply to CoasttoCoast)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 8:27:02 AM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I consider mental bondage a crueler form of restraint, which lacks the relaxing, soothing, "safe" feel that can come from real physical bondage.  It keeps the victim from enjoying the stress relief of having no control over what is done to the body and forces a position of ultimate responsibility.

Both types of control have their appeal.  I consider real rope or chain or tape to be much kinder, at the end of the day, and a very different sensual experience.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to Skully7000)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 8:45:42 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I consider mental bondage a crueler form of restraint, which lacks the relaxing, soothing, "safe" feel that can come from real physical bondage.  It keeps the victim from enjoying the stress relief of having no control over what is done to the body and forces a position of ultimate responsibility.

Both types of control have their appeal.  I consider real rope or chain or tape to be much kinder, at the end of the day, and a very different sensual experience.


Lots of hot ideas in this thread by many different people. But this is interesting because I always have felt very safe while in restraints. The first time I was restrained was the most relaxing experience...(some of it, anyway, *lol*)

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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

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(in reply to ShaktiSama)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 11:19:05 AM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Physical bondage ironically frees my mind from the confines of my body so that I can go wherever the person who has put me into it wants to take me. It also opens up my mind and makes it alert to any, even trace or hint, of physical contact, which it has no choice but to accept and experience. And then go whereever it takes me. Combined with a blindfold, my mind is as open, expectant and attuned to physical sensation as a wartime city on full radar alert.

I would imagine that mental bondage, by forcing a person to maintain their body motionless or in the position demanded would root your mind so fully and totally inside your body that it would prohibit any launch or flight into subspace. Since subs crave to give up control, that sounds incredibly cruel, forcing a sub to control their own body even more tightly and intensely than usual.

I guess the "upside" is that one would be relying on their strong desire to please their Dominant, or fear of displeasing them or the consequences promised by the  Dominant, as their strength to maintain position.

I can see where it would be an intense and ongoing Hobson's choice mindfuck.

< Message edited by WalterRego -- 5/3/2008 11:22:41 AM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 11:37:43 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am not the biggest fan of the phrase "mental bondage"...mostly because it's touted as a form of BDSM that people can do over the internet. Which I think is bullshit...don't get offended this is not about you.

I prefer to call it what it is...physcial manipulation. Control. A enforced power dynamic. Domination. When these things are happening they're happening because someone is there and there is enforcement of what may or maynot happen because they really are there.

As I said...the term mental bondage sounds way too hocus pocus to me.

(in reply to WalterRego)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 11:51:52 AM   
mzbehavin


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you all for such interesting posts. For me, having done both mental and physical bondage. I like both. Agreed with the others about physical restraints being more relaxing, and would like to make a small point that mental restraint forces you to be in the moment. Now. And for some, thats a spiritual release in itself.
xox
*shove me in the shallow water, before i get too deep*


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There's never really a good time for the whole Man to Beast thing...Just kind of~Whaum! and hope for the best...
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(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 11:56:23 AM   
LadyBug1967


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		Ah, but mental bondage can be so much fun.  Master was teaching me about it one night and he took each on of my hands and put them on a spindle of His headboard and told me to not let go or He was going to spank me.  I figured "This is stupid.  It's way too easy.  Not a problem."  Then Master started performing His sexual magic on my tits and, without thinking, my hands came lose from those spindles and I began running them through his hair.  As soon as He felt my fingers He knew I had let go and jumped up and told me to turn over to receive my punishment.  I refused and He forcibly turned me over and began to spank me.  I had the most intense orgasm I've ever had in my life.  I will always love mental bondage!!!

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 12:40:40 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		And yet it's about control...that's not "mental bondage"...you moved...in fact there was a moment of defiance in your story. There was physical reprcusion (sp) for your actions.

boi has finally gotten a GED and finished SAT this morning...brain all gone...expect spelling and grammar errors

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 5/3/2008 12:41:33 PM >

(in reply to LadyBug1967)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 1:06:40 PM   
LadyBug1967


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		We all have a different take on anything and everything, in the lifestyle and out.  Yes, I moved.  But Master proved His point:  He could make me forget that I was "bound," lose control and then He got exactly what He wanted:  To spank me.  To give me the pleasure that He knew it would bring.  Several times after that He tried different things with me, but I was cognizant, after that first time, of what He was doing, and managed to retain control.  You have to look at the dynamics involved.  The first time I actually did exactly what He wanted/expected me to do.  He DID teach me lesson.  Every Dominant/Master runs their relationships differently.  He made learning about mental bondage fun for me.  And, as I say:  "Keep it safe, sane, consensual AND fun."  If you want to be on the really serious side of BDSM you need to be into Gorean.
 
My opinions only, of course.

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 1:38:08 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		~FR~

quote:

I prefer to call it what it is...physcial manipulation. Control. A enforced power dynamic. Domination.


It certainly is all of those things.  It can also be sadistic torture.  Welcome to my world. 

quote:

I would imagine that mental bondage, by forcing a person to maintain their body motionless or in the position demanded would root your mind so fully and totally inside your body that it would prohibit any launch or flight into subspace. Since subs crave to give up control, that sounds incredibly cruel, forcing a sub to control their own body even more tightly and intensely than usual.


It depends on one's goal.  As mzbehavin pointed out, it forces the sub to stay focused in the now.  I don't necessarily want her flying off into subspace during the mental bondage.  It depends on what I have planned for later.  However, it's a mistake to think she isn't giving up control.  She is.  She could move if she wanted to move.  There are no restraints to stop her.
 
There is nothing but my Will and her desire to please me, as you noted.  In some ways, she's giving up more control than if I tied her down.  Simple bondage is easier since she can rationally say, "I have no choice because I'm restrainted."  With mental bondage, she has to consciously give up power for every minute we're in scene.  But it's a mental control rather than a physical one.

(in reply to LadyBug1967)
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RE: Mental Bondage - 5/3/2008 2:09:06 PM   
LadyBug1967


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		Master had complete control of me during that scene.  He knew me well enough to know exactly how I would respond to Him and what He was going to do to me. He also wanted to teach me some things:  1 - What mental bondage was and how much fun it could be, as opposed to being physically restrained.  2 - That He COULD make me lose control, and He did by His own actions.  3 -  Up to that time I'd never had an erotic spanking and He wanted to give me one without telling me up front what He was going to do.  Master is a control freak to the nth degree and He was comletely in control of me during that scene.  His control and my behavior were exactly what He wanted and expected.  He got what He wanted, I got more than I expected, and W/we both had FUN.  Being able to play this way comes from knowing your partner.  When Master expects comlete compliance and obedience, He knows that I give it to Him.  But there is absolutely nothing wrong with mixing a little fun in with a scene--as long as you are both aware of what is going on and what is expected.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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