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RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/4/2008 5:36:18 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mya75

I'm just curious do other subs/slaves abstain from sex when not in a "relationship"....Im sure you do I am more curious to see how many....and if you have the same responses to your "lack of sexual play"


In the six and a half years that i was on my own i had sex four times. None of those times did a thing for me even though three of those partners had skills.
 
This did not seem to bother Scooter at all.
 
Funny thing is while anybody who knows me will say i am a highly sexual individual, i really did not miss having sex during that time.
 
For me sex is some how hard wired into love, into that "ONE" who is Master.
 
Since being with Scooter i can honestly say to abstain for a few days is extremely difficult for me. But i love him, he is Master to me so my desire level in his presence is off the charts.

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(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/4/2008 10:53:10 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I dont know. I am hard wired toward masochism, I enjoy sex more when bound.. and I love sex.  But I don't seek out as much as I can.  Nor do I only have sex in a romantic relationship, to justify having sex.  Some people just like being more choosy about who they lay with.  Sex is great, but I can make myself orgasm or hurt myself if needed.  Doing that with someone who you want is much better.  Random or casual is not for many of us.  I doubt it is even for most.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Most kinky people tend to want and get as much sex as they can, although often they need to couch it in romantic courtships based on vanilla standards to justify it.


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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/4/2008 9:41:01 PM   
aleshaDreams


Posts: 184
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		mya,

I  have not been in a relationship since 1999 and have had sex three times since then (3 times 5 minutes = cheated out of something that should have been good), each of which I wish I never even bothered cause no sex is far better than bad sex.  I abstain having sexual encounters of my choice, not because I can't get it cause sex is the easy part, finding a relationship with meaning and longevity is what is worth waiting for and pursuing.

ad.

(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/4/2008 11:04:22 PM   
luv4pashn


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		Abstinence isn't my strong point.. Plus i'm involved in a very large and friendly BDSM community so play abounds (although it is non sexual) No, in fact i'm surprised to hear that your abstinence is a hindrance. My high sexual need seems to be a hindrance. Is there any pleasing them?



(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/5/2008 10:08:23 AM   
nwcutie102


Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
Status: offline 		i abstain when single. casual means nothing, does nothing, inspires nothing in me

(in reply to MadameXTC)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/6/2008 12:28:45 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		My abstinence can be measured in years, it's part of who I am and as it has caused so much pain and suffering in the past I'm determined to hold out for the right person, at the right time in the right relationship. BDSM for me is something other than sex.
It never worked out due to the way I was born, in becoming myself there have been sacrifices along the way, sex is just one of those sacrifices. Another appears to be intimacy and me being who I am acceptance and understanding go a long way. My issues with sex excludes me from most relationships as does the preconceived notions about sex with regard to me. Better it remain a mystery for all but the one who wishes to discover me for who I really am.

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(in reply to nwcutie102)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/6/2008 2:56:03 PM   
lizcgirl


Posts: 287
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		I am a terribly horny person. (who isnt??) But my last relationship ended badly after 2 years of crap so I took a year off from boys totally. I didn't date, have sex, I was a total hermit. I took the time to get to know myself, which was SO beneficial for me. Usually I am dating some one before I sleep with them, I have been that way for a long time, but after a year I really didn't care! I had what my friends called my 'bounce back sex' with a guy and moved on. I needed it. lmao. But I never do random one night stands or total strangers, it's just too dangerous for me and I have kids to think about. I think the double standard is really retarded- lots of sex= a total slut in the vanilla aspect, no sex= prude in the BDSM aspect. lmao. I wouldn't worry about it, it is what it is.


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Never make some one a priority when all you are to them is an option.


(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/6/2008 3:04:10 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		This thread almost makes me feel bad. I need sex. i canr go more than a couple of moths before I implde. I am not above casual sex when needed. Its much better in the context of a relationship where I can trust, grow and evolve. However, a friend to serve a purpose is a friend indeed when I am in need.

If a Dom tried to gult me i agree with batshalom, though. Pfffffffft

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(in reply to MadameXTC)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/6/2008 4:43:03 PM   
Gleegal67


Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameXTC

for me sex and bdsm can be two seperate things.. of course kinky sex is the greatest.. but I have had to go periods without sex due to being seperated from my Dominant. I have went periods before my Dominant without sex just cause I can seperate my need for BDSM and my need for sex. I can have a wonderfully sexually charged scene that goes deeper then penetration could ever touch. Anyone else out there who thinks bdsm is sexually charged enough to skip the sex?



I'm with MadameXTC on this...bdsm and sex are two different things for me...always have been.  I've preferred hot bdsm scene that is so sexually explosive, that the actual act of sex would have not been worthy of the scene.

I'm also with Lynnxz in regards to sex scares the hell outta me with all the Super STD's that are floating around.  Last time I was tested, which is every November, the STD tests was two pages long....TWO PAGES!!  I knew what the first page was, and I thought I'm pretty darn savvy on what's what, but the second page I had no clue!  Scared me in ways I've never been scared before!!  "RED!!" "RED!"

So that knowledge sure has put me in quite the quandry...just bdsm..no sex...but I love hot kinky sex...I crave hot kinky sex...so now I just hold sex out for as long as I can...until I'm to the point of being incredibly primal...then it's hard to trust my judgement on my choice of sexual partner...because the beast within is hungry...talk about finding inner control...then the primal need gets even worse...good thing I've been lucky so far...until the next time...uggghhhhh!!!!!! 

Better to keep the beast within happy with fooling it with hot bdsm scenes...hopefully...

_____________________________

~always the gleeful one~

(in reply to MadameXTC)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Submissives & Slaves who Abstain From Sex - 5/6/2008 8:56:46 PM   
Slave2Bob


Posts: 65
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		I abstain during periods of seperation. I'm not going to waste my time on something I don't want. And where I live, there's nothing here I want. Like a scene out of "Deliverance". Nope- would sew it shut with a bamboo skewer first !

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>^._.^< jen

princessj on cm

(in reply to mya75)
Profile   Post #: 50
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