|
Madoc62 -> RE: protocol about collars (5/6/2008 11:08:25 PM)
|
Hey all!
A thing to remember about collars and such is that it's all made up. Everything about the scene is made up. We've made it up and it's as different for each of us as each of us is different. So, there is no single "right way" of doing anything such as this kinda fashion or attire. Thus, there can be no "wrong way" of it either.
As others here have pointed out, your collar is your own and that means you get to define its extent. Sure, some folk have developed their own elaborate protocols about the wearing of collars and there's some "generally accepted" ways of doing things but those aren't iron clad, universally held, or otherwise absolute.
Generally speaking, someone wearing a scene related collar - i.e. some sort of locked or secured device around their throat - is declaring that they're "taken" to some greater or lesser degree. At least so if they're at a scene event or, hopefully, have a clue while there. Or perhaps they aren't taken but don't want to deal with the hassles of getting hit on by all the tops around them. Or perhaps they just like the look and are deliberately flouting convention just to assert their independance.
In the end it comes down to understanding the individual involved and that means.... communicating with them! Gads, perish the thought!
There's to much variance and variability in the scene otherwise. For instance, my ex-partner was also my submissive. She absolutely craved wearing my collar full time. We tried just about everything to accomodate this but her body's physical chemistry worked against it at every turn. She'd develop rashes under the chain within a day or two. We used silver, we used sealed chrome, we used "hypo-allergenic" stainless - all to no avail. Worse, all of the locks we tried would affect her skin even faster and in a more damaging sense. So, except for special events and only during those events, she went collar-free.
On the other hand, I've never had a problem with any sort of metal 'round my neck and in my relationship with her I wore a matching silver necklace. Mine latched closed, hers I got a small jewelry padlock. I wore that "collar" as a sign of my commitment to her. Not as a sign of my submission. Most folk viewing that necklace on her just viewed it as that - a necklace. It was only the significance which we made up for it that gave it meaning to us.
According to some who have gotten too wrapped up in their own elaborate protocols and such, I should never have worn a matching necklace (blurred the roles too much) and that necklace wasn't a "real" collar because it was just jewelry. Um, yeah, whatever.
Like I said, this is all made up and we're the ones who made it up. Go with what works for you.
Madoc
|
|
|
|
