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Real_Trouble -> RE: Are men too paranoid? (5/5/2008 3:24:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MissMorrigan
RT, your post troubles and saddens me greatly.
It shouldn't; I'm a relatively happy person, actually. I like to think I'm realistic about the shape of reality, but I also don't take it personally. Things are just things.
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For instance, my partner's grandmother is in her 80s, she's a woman I admire and the reason being is that she never sees the bad in people. She's never been afraid of people, has always treated others with respect, is not only liked in our community but so well respected. Not once in her 80s years has she been abused/taken advantage of, has never been robbed, mugged or assaulted. Could that just be sheer luck? I really believe not.
This is definitely contrary to my opinion on the subject - I would suggest it is almost entirely luck! Luck to have been born where she did, to have had the opportunities she had growing up in the UK, which is one of the safest nations on the planet, and to have simply not run into the very wrong person.
Perhaps, of course, we are dealing with differing levels of human misconduct, but I have seen several situations where, had she run into the individuals there, she would most likely be dead and thrown in a ditch somewhere.
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She has lived in Brighton her entire life, she's 'out there' in the community every day and does a lot of work through the church, which means she also does a lot of work for the homeless. She has been married twice. She survived her first husband, they had a great marriage. It took her a long while to come to terms with his death and eventually she remarried. Her second husband also died, sadly. Again the marriage was great. I've never heard a foul word or bad comment leave her mouth and she would give a person her last penny if she felt they needed it more than she.
She's just a tiny old lady, yet the hoodies and local ruffians treat her with respect.
What does that say about human nature to you?
As I said in my post above, I don't believe that everyone is a "bad" person. What it tells me is that she landed in a good spot, with a healthy environment to grow up in, and then managed to treat other people well and was lucky enough to both not run into the wrong person and to be in the UK. There's no magic there; it's fairly easy to see.
I would also like to point out Brighton is pretty tame. As a UK national, how do you think she'd fare in Iraq?
For every good story, there is one just as bad. The world is not a 'nice' place in my view, and if you disagree, you are more then entitled to your opinion. I've just seen enough in the way of truly vicious conduct that I'm not going to ever believe it; I think my sample size is large enough to be significant.
My ultimate point, regarding the OP, is that I just don't trust people often. End of story. I think a certain degree of 'paranoia', if you will, is justified; and, again, I don't classify based on gender, race, or what not. Most people are a lot more unpleasant than you think, if they have the right opportunity or are in the right situation.
Maya,
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I was the same way and my oversense of mistrust but I also sabotaged relationships since I was always expecting the worst from them, and became just like you are now and did so for way too long . Then one day I was listening to this song ...not just the song but the words and I realized it is akay to take some chances and gamble but use common sense in doing .. and I accepting that inorder to find a good relationship I might have to experience pain but if I use common sense I can limit it and it is noit necessarily a bad thing if I take lessons from the pain dealt to me....and that isolation and loneliness is also painful
I would suggest that you cannot be like I am now if this is your story.
Read what I posted above; I am genuinely happy being alone. It's not painful for me, and I actually enjoy it quite a bit more than being in any relationship I've had so far (perhaps this will be different in the future, but I don't try to predict the future - who knows?). Likewise, I have a pretty high pain tolerance and tenacity in human relationships; I just fail to see the point in bothering with most people. Perhaps this is because my standards for a relationship are brutally high and I am unwilling to compromise, and am thus happier doing without? Perhaps this is because I'm just a wildly misanthropic loner?
I can tell you right now that you're totally off target here - if you think I want sympathy, want to change, or am unhappy, you are very seriously mistaken.
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