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ORIGINAL: TysGalilah

Hi Jenny
 
I really like that you leave that question open to options 5  6  7 and 8...
frankly, most of the time I feel I am somewhere in the category 11 or 12..( reads > don't feel like I quite fit into the categories most common ).
so, this is not meant to be a category...only my personal motivation ( as I understand it so far, as it is still evolving it seems ).
 
 
I am attracted emotionally  to males who are large and in charge(not necessarily talking physique).
  I was raised in a traditionally 50s household.  My father was a man larger than life ( in my eyes) and took care of his families needs, provided safe feelings and security.  Was the ultimate decision maker and was supported emotionally by a wife who tended to the kids and the home providing his comfort and security in that area.   I'm sure some of this past is a portion of my motivating factor and attraction.  I don't need to be taken care of..but being with someone who will and can > gives me a very comfy feeling of safety and security that I do like..
 
I am attracted sexually to men(& women)
who enjoy
extreme emotions and feelings, both mental and physically, and not only can handle mine but want mine.  I feel and express myself intensely.  The D-types just seem to be able to handle this more effectively for some reason.
 
I want to be challenged, encouraged/pushed/guided further in my experiences, emotionally, physically and sexually.  And so I like being with someone who  knows what he wants  and knows how to take me(control)along  on his quest for more experiences.
 
I can take care of myself, I don't need someone to take care of me.  My lifes journey seemed to take me down paths where I HAD to be the one in control..making decisions...the disciplinarian, and I am completely capable in that area, yet it was not always my preference or choice.
So a part of my motivation is being in a relationship where I do not HAVE to be the one in control. Can give my control over and trust that things will be taken care of and I don't have to tend to everything by myself.
  I'm quirky like that >  if no one else is in control > I will be.
yanno?
 
Ultimately, and probably most significant motivator, is my desire to please and serve.  I genuinely enjoy tending to the happiness of another, along with their needs and desires.  It gives me such a feeling of satisfaction to know I have served and caused a smile or a sigh of relief..or a feeling of intense satisfaction/euphoria in them.
 
 

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ORIGINAL: purpleskye

I can very much relate to TysGaliah's motivation in all respects with my greatest motivation in 3.
I have to say that I don't like the way motivation 1. comes across. This is probably my own personal issue, but at first read I though it made a sub with that motivation sound like a lazy person  with no depth or drive.   Yes a sub is taken care of, but in return they take care of their Dom, just in a different way.  Going through the process of finding that special Dominant that fulfills all your submissive needs and making that choice to surrender yourself to them is an assertive decision that a sub makes so their life runs the course that they want.  Sorry if I'm stating the obvious, but I'm a newbie and still battling with years of thinking my submissive nature ment I was a weak, needy person.

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ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain
Much as I dislike quoting great wodges of text from someone else's post, I just had to quote Galilah in toto because she said exactly what I feel, and I have never been able to put it into words. Thank you, Galilah.

I'm kind of confused, though, because I don't exactly want to give over control, although I have had to take control in my life in areas where life itself has rendered me out-of-control. It's not #1 - I don't want to be 'taken care of.' It's not exactly #2 - I am fond of being in control of certain areas where I have regained control. It's mostly #3 - I want to make someone happy.

When I pick out a gift for someone, when I help someone out of a jam, when I write a poem for someone, I live for the moment their eyes light up and a smile brightens their face. It's not so much the doing of something I have been ordered or told to do; it's finding something that needs doing and doing it for someone - anyone.

pip, looking for my happiness in others'

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm neither 1 nor 2. I am not naturally subservient and I also am not interested in being dominant. I do find a great relaxation in turning control over to him because I have huge amounts of responsibility which is not the same as being an assertive/aggresive person. I don't understand how anyone who is not selfish in the extreme wouldn't enjoy doing things to make their partner happy.

If I'm up first, I make his tea and tell him it's in the kitchen waiting for him. That's what he needs to get out of bed. If he's up first he'll bring my tea into the bedroom because I wake up best slowly sitting there. These are loving things that we do because we care about each other.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

it has been this slave's experience that there are many motivations to which folks apply a submissive label.  here are some this slave has run across:
 
24.  they have a submissive personality, in that their knee-jerk reaction to the world around them is to submit to others.  it takes a lot of effort, training and bouts of nausea for these folks to Dominate anything.  they don't have a "Dominant bone in their body".
 
55.  they prefer a relationship orientation in which they are the submissive partner.  perhaps they have a Dominant personality in other aspects of their life, but only in the context of an intimate relationship do they prefer to submit and thrive on that side of the slash.
 
67.  they prefer to submit in the bedroom/dungeon, but anywhere else they are either an equal partner, or perhaps even the Dominant partner in a relationship.  this slave has been informed by some of the folks here that this particular form of submission is more often referred to as "bottoming", than submission.
 
81.  they have fantasies about submitting to another, but for various reasons would never bring themselves to actually DO it...but it sounds fucking hot, and the fantasy makes for nice masturbatory events.
 
92.  they had a non-existent or very bad relationship with their parent(s).  submitting to a Mommy or Daddy figure within the context of an intimate relationship fulfills them or meets a need they feel was unmet as a wee one.
 
98.  they desire to get laid.  if staking claim to the "submissive" orientation causes that desire to come to fruition, then they have succeeded.  they will just as easily affix the "Dominant" label to themselves as well, if that's what it takes to reach their goal. 

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ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I can remember why I decided to explore this stuff from the s-side, though I'm not sure if 'reasons why' is the same as 'motivation.'  Theoretically, I'm a little uncomfortable with the concept 'motive' but I'm going to bracket that discomfort. :)

*snip for brevity*

This is only half an answer because I'm submissive in so many parts of my life, even though I rarely submit, and was so before I discovered this stuff.  My self understanding only catches the surface.

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ORIGINAL: Wheldrake

Let's see... I'm often happiest when other people are making the decisions, so I have a considerable amount of motivation #1. I have some of motivation #3, in that I get a lot of satisfaction from making my Mistress happy, but I've never connected that too strongly to my submission to her. I think it has more to do with the love and affection that exist between us.

My third motivation (I don't think #2 from the original list fits me at all) is simply that I find it erotic and exciting to be helpless under the control of a sadist. Even a few weeks ago, I would have said that this was a psychological trait that defied further analysis, but just lately I've come to think that the excitement has two specific sources. First, I often relish the challenge of having to deal with adversity, in general, and my Mistress can inflict a hell of a lot of adversity when she's in the right mood. Second, and probably more important, I think dominance and sadism are sublime and profound things, and this aesthetic attraction makes me want to get close to them and experience them. Sometimes I enjoy being immersed in the magnificence of a thunderstorm, umbrella-less under the open sky with rain soaking me to the skin and lightning flashing overhead. Suffering for my Mistress and obeying her harsher instructions can be thrilling in almost the same way.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

it has been this slave's experience that there are many motivations to which folks apply a submissive label.  here are some this slave has run across:

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 67.  they prefer to submit in the bedroom/dungeon, but anywhere else they are either an equal partner, or perhaps even the Dominant partner in a relationship.  this slave has been informed by some of the folks here that this particular form of submission is more often referred to as "bottoming", than submission.