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RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:02:12 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		That post by Stephann is excellent of course.  One additional point:

I set a first meeting with someone one time, because she had written something in her journal and I remembered which comedian had said it.  I sent her an email with just the name of the comedian and a smiley face.  She wrote me back immediately, excited that someone had recognized it, and we started corresponding.

Make sure to mention something in her profile that you like.  Something about her, that makes her different from all the other women in kinkland... someone special.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:12:46 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

This is what I sent to SinFuLLadyV-

"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."


(emphasis mine)

If you had read this woman's profile, you would have known what (some of) her interests are.  If you want someone to take interest in you, then you have to take interest in them.  It's really that simple, and common human courtesy.  You will never go wrong by reading a profile, finding things in it that resonate for you, and (tastefully) commenting on them. 

And if she isn't looking for the same thing you are looking for, don't pursue things with her.

My two word response to your email would have been:

form letter.

Mss

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:18:01 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		I find sending a picture of my genitals tends to work out really well. Also, if my first sentence involves exactly what I want, preferrably something about my cock, then they just can't seem to help themselves.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:21:37 PM   
MasterG333


Posts: 7
Joined: 4/4/2004
Status: offline 		She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:22:52 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG333

She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought


that's just a test. A test of his tenacity and stubbornness. Domme's love that.

(in reply to MasterG333)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:23:45 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG333

She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought


[irony] Lesbian,a minor detail!!!It only means she hasn't met the right man-and he will just have to try to get to her through a fake female profile instead!!!!!!!  [/irony]

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 5/4/2008 7:24:05 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to MasterG333)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:26:12 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		Her profile said to call her Mistress.

(in reply to azropedntied)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:28:59 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG333

She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought
Her profile didn't have that on it when I sent her the e-mails.

(in reply to MasterG333)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:32:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Dude, do you understand MySweetSubmissive's point?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:33:21 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Read the profiles first.  Mine says I'm not looking and I still get offers of submission from subs.  I've gotten so tired of saying .. not looking..thanks but no thanks.. that I just don't reply.
 
And really,,,it's the FEMALE that does the hunting for a sub..not the other way around.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:35:32 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG333

She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought
Her profile didn't have that on it when I sent her the e-mails.



Oh no! You turned her gay.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:38:05 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice


Oh no! You turned her gay.



ahahahahahahahaha

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:46:06 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Aboslutely read the profile!  Can't stress that enough.

For example, Mine says that I'm not interested in subs who are in other countries or distant states.  Also, that I am not interested in chatting with folks who aren't local unless it's a case of getting to know them through the boards, or some other friendly fashion.

The best way to get Me to respond, is to respect that.  I get a lot of emails, but the ones I appreciate most are those that start with a friendly tone about a discussion on the boards.  If someone has an honest, non-wank type question, I'm usually more than happy to answer it.  Also, if someone sends Me something that makes Me laugh, or they got a chuckle out of something I said, that's a great coversation starter, too. 

Of course, this is all from the perspective that I'm here more for conversation, than for hook-ups.  The answer many vary depending on looking at it the other way around.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CoasttoCoast)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 7:46:15 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank
"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

Getting spanked is a lot harder than you would think if you were a vanilla person thinking about how people into BDSM live.


Okay, that would have me deleting and blocking you instantly.  Basically you just told me that you don't *care* what my interests are, since they're right there in my profile and you didn't take five minutes to read them, and that all you're interested in is getting your own thrills on.  I get a dozen emails a week just like this, and frankly they're annoying as hell.

What would get my attention was someone who had actually read my profile and paid attention what it said about how I would like to be contacted and what I am personally looking for.  Because when it comes to who I'm willing to talk to online, it's all about me and what I want. It's definitely not about some random horny stranger and what he wants.  If a random horny stranger shows in his first email that he truly doesn't care what I want, then I don't care what he wants either and we're done right there. 

Once I've developed an actual relationship with someone, starting with friendship, mutual common interests, courtesy and intelligent conversation, then I will be interested in hearing what he wants and what he's into in terms of D/s.  But when it's just another random guy with his dick in his hand wanting to get spanked, I don't care and I don't want to hear about his desires since he's not really interested in me or mine.  As far as that kind of guy is concerned, it's all about him, and that's so incredibly unattractive that I won't even bother talking to him. 

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/4/2008 8:20:40 PM   
steffie


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank
"Hello Mistress, welcome to collarme. i believe that i am good enought to qualify to be Your property. i'm very smart, polite, submissive, caring, funny, and good looking to boot. i don't know what Your interest are but You can check mine out just by viewing my profile. if You want a great submissive to serve and care for You, please send a reply."

Getting spanked is a lot harder than you would think if you were a vanilla person thinking about how people into BDSM live.


Please put on your flame retardent suit for just a minute.  I do not mean to attack you personally. 

I work as a copywriter and have taught high school English.  Some small advice.  An initial email is like a cover letter that goes with your resume.  Every word better count if you want to make an impression. 

Not to be mean, but you say you are smart and funny, but don't show it in any way.  I mean, I could say that i'm Albert Einstein, but if i don't back it up with some algorithms in that initial email - i'm just another one of the zillions of men on the internet that are full of c--p. 

The way your email is worded, you obviously spent all of 10 minutes thinking about it. 

It comes off like, "Hi, i'm new to the scene.  I don't have a clue what to say, but am willing to promise you anything, so long as i get my fantasies fulfilled.  I'm somewhat boring, and if we meet i won't have very much to say, nor am i all that into you personally.  I just want to get off."

Again, i'm not trying to be cruel.  It's just that i get a LOT of emails like that.  And unless someone has something scintillating to say - if you can't get into my head - no way are you getting in my panties.  You just get deleted.

If you sent me a poem, that you'd obviously spent an hour or two of work on... that was individually crafted from tidbits you'd picked up on my profile... designed it to make me smile, and make me think.  Then i'd be impressed. 

Then you'd get a response.


_____________________________

There are no secrets to learning how to write. You must learn how to think. S. Leonard Rubenstein

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/5/2008 5:14:01 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG333

She states that she is a lesbian. Might be why she did not reply. Just a thought


and just another thought... some lesbians are a bit less narrow than you might think...

(in reply to MasterG333)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/5/2008 5:33:31 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		1. stop sending mass messages and/or form letters. you should narrow your search to a few who fit your general interest and go from there. try to make those messages to your few personal and pertaining to their individual profile. sending mass mailings with the same wording only gets you blocked/ignored/deleted.

then too it could be their mail settings - if you live too far away and/or not the age they're seeking, your messages generally end up in the Bulk Mail.

2. we do have a life beyond cyberspace. so sometimes a reply back might days or weeks.  OR take it as a sign that she's not interested in you if there's no response. no where does it state they have to reply back because you sent a message.

good luck


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/5/2008 5:46:38 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Op to stop taking all of this grief switch over to finding a Dom.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/5/2008 1:32:05 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		One important thing is living within a reasonable distance of the Dominant you write to. Most are not interested is someone who is available only once in a while because of distance. 

It also helps to add some of your special talents (nothing sexual). If you happen to be chef, have taken a course to learn body massage, or are a mechanic by trade, etc.



_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How to get a response on Collarme from a domme - 5/5/2008 11:35:02 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Same thing every one said... You're going to have to actually include something that lets her know you've read the *entire* profile.  I get messages like this all the time.  They get deleted or replied to with a "no thanks."

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 40
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