Turning DOWN tribute? (Full Version)

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abqowner -> Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 8:21:40 AM)

I read the recent "tribute" thread with interest.  I was wondering - fellow owners, do you find yourselves having to turn down tribute?

Here's my problem.  When I go out searching for a slave, some think either that tribute is required, or at least it's just respectful.  For those I just tell them no thanks.  But there are those who are certain that with enough cash they can buy into the position.  Over the years (yeah, I've done this a while...) I've been offered land, houses, a few cars, tons of clothes and jewelry, certainly cash,  and some yahoo swore he was going to buy me an island (oh please!!). 

To me it was always pretty insulting.  To think a slave could buy their way into the position - it just grinds my gears.  Anyone else run into this?  And if so, did you take it?  I'm not trying to judge anyone, just wondering if I'm too strong on this topic.



lateralist1 -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 8:53:58 AM)

I hate it when I'm offered money or goods.
I've turned down a house and a weekly income.
I've asked for a helicopter. Tongue in cheek of course. I was told they are too dangerous.
Whenever someone mentions money my hackles rise but then they do very easily.
Unfortunately money does rear it's ugly head all the time in every walk of life.
No matter how much we have some of us will always want more.
And some of those that have very little will always be the ones to give.
You are who you are. You may change your attitude you may not. Hearing other peoples views sometimes changes my attitude and sometimes it doesn't. It depends on your own perceptions and self knowledge. We all have a right to our own opinions. Being allowed to express them is still allowed I hope even for slaves.



SweetDommes -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 9:14:49 AM)

We haven't even been around all that long (less than 10 years) and we've been offered trips to Europe, cars, loads of cash, houses, etc.  As those who know us well are aware, we have accepted none of those things - we're still relatively poor lol. 

Mostly we choose to be amused by those who are that clueless ... not insulted.  I get enough real insults at work. 



ShaktiSama -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 11:57:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: abqowner
I read the recent "tribute" thread with interest.  I was wondering - fellow owners, do you find yourselves having to turn down tribute?


Offers of tribute or spending money are pretty commonly attached to "slave spam".  The ability to pay a stipend or earn a good income is a pretty common "desirable" attribute that spammers attach to their offer of completely dehumanized, non-contextual, useless-to-me-because-you-have-NO-freaking-idea-who-I-am service...

There are also a lot of men of any orientation who think they can control a woman or a relationship with money.  Not so much.  That kind of thing doesn't work for me.  I understand a person who wants to show love for me in various ways, but money isn't everything--and it isn't anything at all if it's used to mask a lack of feeling, especially when that feeling is respect.



thetammyjo -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 1:02:13 PM)

I haven't turned down "tribute" because I turn down the person offering it usually. Except for Fox whom was very young and who had other qualities and quickly learned I wasn't a stereotype he'd been reading about and "interacting with" online before he met me. I mentioned that story in another thread just this morning so I shall not repeat it.

I have had people send me books and things of that nature but not as a way to "win me" but simply as a "thank you" usually for my talking with them at a munch, an event or such thing. I think that's sweet and I think I'd insult them if I refused the gift. Usually it's something from my Amazon.com wish list so it's a good gift.



RumpusParable -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 1:02:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: abqowner

To me it was always pretty insulting.  To think a slave could buy their way into the position - it just grinds my gears.  Anyone else run into this?  And if so, did you take it?  I'm not trying to judge anyone, just wondering if I'm too strong on this topic.


I enjoy both receiving payment and receiving tribute, but what you describe here is a specific mindset problem... it's the kink equivalent of the vanilla date who thinks that buying dinner entitles them to sex or, for the pros, the vanillla customer who thinks that payment = the right to be rude.

I've turned down, and returned, a fair number of things offered because the person displayed that mindset (in both the kink and vanilla realms of interaction).



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 1:07:51 PM)

If they were doing it for the right reason and not cause they thought they could buy my Domination I'd accept money and tributes, with in reason. I wouldn't accept like a 30 thoughsand dollar car.



ElanSubdued -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 2:51:46 PM)

To all the Dominas in this thread,

In the pure interest of offering a helpful service to the BDSM community, I humbly offer to accept the tributes that you fine, obviously extremely ethical women turn down.  Houses?  Vacations?  Thirty thousand dollar cars?  I can see the *problem* here.  So look, send all this stuff to me and then you can continue dating these boys while absolved of any guilt.  It's not always easy being as selfless, giving, and valiant as I, but I figure someone's gotta' help you out.

Elan.



faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 2:59:46 PM)

quote:

Houses? Vacations? Thirty thousand dollar cars?


if someone is offering this chances are they have some sort of STD and family/friends and locals know this of them so they have to turn to online to find someone.

or maybe it is worse and they are sex offenders that are talking lies....i really doubt someone as rich as what they are offering would actually look online for someone.





RumpusParable -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 3:28:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

To all the Dominas in this thread,

In the pure interest of offering a helpful service to the BDSM community, I humbly offer to accept the tributes that you fine, obviously extremely ethical women turn down.  Houses?  Vacations?  Thirty thousand dollar cars?  I can see the *problem* here.  So look, send all this stuff to me and then you can continue dating these boys while absolved of any guilt.  It's not always easy being as selfless, giving, and valiant as I, but I figure someone's gotta' help you out.

Elan.


Haha!  Only if you agree to take on the burden of dealing with these sorts, too!

*sees how it is, Elan's trying to take all the goodies but leave the creeps to us*



Misstoyou -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 3:34:33 PM)

I don't necessarily find the offers of trips insulting, but I like trips. [:D]  On the other hand, I've yet to take someone up on it.

I don't expend any energy getting huffy about the offers anymore. Either they're ignorant (can't tell lifestyle from pro), or socially inept (think that's the only way to gain interest). Either way, I just type back "I'm not a pro", and I usually get an apology. No one I've ever met in person has made that mistake...



RumpusParable -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 3:35:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

Houses? Vacations? Thirty thousand dollar cars?


if someone is offering this chances are they have some sort of STD and family/friends and locals know this of them so they have to turn to online to find someone.

or maybe it is worse and they are sex offenders that are talking lies....i really doubt someone as rich as what they are offering would actually look online for someone.



Lol, indeed.  I won't and don't turn down goodies from people that are respectful and I can respect, who strike me as interesting in themselves somehow... but it's the creeps that make over-the-top offers.  When you don't *need* to buy time or affection from someone it's an entirely different thing, but these guys *need* to.  The wanker/creep/predator/misogynist vibe(s) comes through clearly and quickly.



MistressKali1 -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 3:46:47 PM)

Most of the people that make these offers are completely full of shit or are indeed trying to "buy the position"  But there are certainly some people who enjoy the dynamics of financial domintation.  It can't be all there is but who doesn't get at least a little wet at the site of a boy on bended knee with a stack of fresh $100's??? 
Everyone who just said "not me." You lie!



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 4:24:57 PM)

Okay, OBVIOUSLY I am dealing with a totally different class of wanker because no one has ever offered me real estate or automobiles, or even reasonably sized diamonds.  I feel vaguely neglected, but in a good way....[8|]

The guys I have met who want genuine financial domination are actually looking for financial MANAGERS, which is like, actual WORK.  Shoot,  I have to run their finances AND mine?  Damn straight I deserve some remuneration for keeping their bills paid on time even if it IS with their money.  SO not fun.  And what would they think when I told them to donate to my various charities?  I mean I have I car, what do I need with two? 

See, I am obviously not cut out for this kind of lifestyle....



abqowner -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 4:29:25 PM)

LOL!  Ok, If I saw Brad Pitt on bended knee with a fresh stack of cash saying "I was going to give this to the homeless children of Africa... but I think you should have it instead!"  Um, I'd probably take it.   Can't lie.  :D

I am SO loving this thread.  The different views have been fantastic.  Lots to think about. 



aidan -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 4:53:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: abqowner

LOL!  Ok, If I saw Brad Pitt on bended knee with a fresh stack of cash saying "I was going to give this to the homeless children of Africa... but I think you should have it instead!"  Um, I'd probably take it.   Can't lie.  :D


Hell, I'm not a Domme and I would too. Free cake. Can't beat that.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 4:59:58 PM)

Lol...anyone who offers a stack of hundred dollars bills with no strings attached is one of two things:

Satan or Nigerian.

Possibly both.

I'm just saying. 



submale4u2spank -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 5:40:41 PM)

If any woman would like to offer me a house as tribute, I'd take it and let her beat me.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 5:50:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl
i really doubt someone as rich as what they are offering would actually look online for someone.

Charlie Sheen had an active profile on MillionaireMatch.com last year.  Quite a few women who are well off have profiles on Alt and CollarMe.  Why not men?



aidan -> RE: Turning DOWN tribute? (5/5/2008 5:59:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Lol...anyone who offers a stack of hundred dollars bills with no strings attached is one of two things:

Satan or Nigerian.

Possibly both.

I'm just saying. 


Oooooooh, I thought that said cake, not cash.

Shows my priorities ;-p



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