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RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:33:33 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Ooh! Have we got on to the "blokes pretending to be women" bit yet?

E


I had wondered about that.

I guess there must be loads of guys pretending to be girls who are communicating with other guys who are pretending to be girls.

Stands to reason.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:37:50 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
How much time should one waste on someone like that before you give up and move onto the next prospect?

If you're asking the question, it's already been too long.

I guess your right.

quote:


I guess its not that easy to tell?

Actually it tends to be really easy, but you have to get over what you WANT to see first.

Were back to that unrealistic expectations thing again.

quote:


How much time should it be before the question of asking for their phone number comes up?

In person?  An hour.  Online?  Could be five minutes, could be never. 
quote:


Should I know that myself?

You should know what works for you and own the consequences.
quote:


It seems to me alot of people just want to swap pics rather than move to something real or is that just me?

What proof do you as real time BDSM people think is appropriate if any of someones reality?

If you're going into it needing proof, you're already looking for the wrong things.


It would appear I still have much to learn.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:41:17 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
sorry nothing to add to what has already been said...but wow that is one detailed profile!  Part of the difficulty may be all of the criteria you have so patience may be a necessary requirement for you.

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:41:51 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Since Libby and I aren't looking for playpartners, we generally don't mind if the exchange remains email or phone.  However, if you are thinking about a relationship, I'd recommend moving to an initial face-to-face as early as possible.  Generally, I have people who have contacted me online meet me at a local BurgerKing.  If they show, we can have a nice discussion.  If they don't, I've got a chance to scarf some lunch.  Later, we can talk again about how it worked and if there is a second step.


Now thats good advice, Thanks.

But I think I'll stick to a coffee shop, not too keen on fast food.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:46:42 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

You are presenting yourself to people who don’t have the same expectations as you do. They want to get to know you better is their goal. Matter of fact, for some reason it is taking them longer to know you than normal. It could be because you are acting insecure, trying to pin them down to meeting. Work on that and act secure even if you don’t feel it. Don’t build up every acquaintance as someone you will end up making your slave. Let friendships grow into something more.


First of all when I begin talking with someone online, I begin by trying to get to know them first, I have no interest in going at it like a bull in a perverbial china shop.

I like to take it slow and easy.

I'd rather I build a friendship than end up with nothing.



(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:48:16 AM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
Personally If you cant get to or are not age approiate for meets and munches in your area (edit my area munches are 21 to 23 and up and I'm 19...)....I suggest the fail safe kitten method to finding a mate.

First find interesting partner or parnters I always find more then one to make friends with amusing opinions. If it leads to more it leads to more if it doesnt it doesnt.

Write something interesting about them and their profile. Their profile mentions to say this word or that to show youve read the profile mention it, compliment them on their words or something in their journal, Not the photos its always trolly to me to mention oh I love your bottom in that photo...-eye rolls-

Ask to chat first on cm, if it fails, move to an im.

After a chat or two and things are going spiffy offer to give YOUR number so that they may block theirs if they feel  more comfortable to do so. My number cant be traced back to me but to a small lonely little box 2 cities away, no chance of stalking me through it

After 5 or so hours of phone chat (more or less depending on person  lust factors and such) ask to meet for coffee, or at the local mall, or something thats shows they enjoy doing in their profile. Make it clear you dont expect anything but enjoying their company for some time. If it leads to more it does, if not you spent a day learning what not to look for in the next one.

Your attempting to impress a woman, nothings going to make me jump for joy more then finding someone to attend and or do this or that activitiy with me. It will show me you listened, give me a sense of, he likes me enough to remember Not only my name but that I like XYZ.

If for some reason she denys all advances of kittens method way. Ask why politely. Dont hound to meet if she says no its no... BUT it might just be bad timing, nerves, stress, inability to travel or unsure feelings. If its one of the above offer friendship, or reassure them. Let them know your willing to work on their pace to meet.

Now the kitten fail safe method isnt proven to work in all states areas genders personalility types or race. It just works for her... Now and again sometimes on tuesdays.

< Message edited by hopelessfool -- 5/6/2008 8:49:32 AM >


_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 8:50:41 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Dude, they all said it.  Go live, get out there, do a munch, go to local BDSM club or dungeon. 
But to the OP directly, if seeking a relationship, 3 emails and were on the phone or she just won't be fast enough to keep up in realife anyway. 
If she is long distance, there is a 2 week advane notice required to get good airfairs... That means 1st week, flirtaions are hot and she passed the "20 questions" so we are on to a face to face in the 3rd week.  Month at the most.  - Hope that helps. 

Happy Hunting,
Kalon Eric


Yeah Kalon Eric thanks, your the man.

Probably the best profile of a Dom on this site I've ever come across man.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:03:58 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
Well thanks people for all the constructive advice you guys have posted.

I apologize to those whos backs I may have point out of joint by my choice of words but then you can't please everybody.

I guess my expectations were heightened by the experience of a personal friend of mine who is my friend in real life.

Shortly after I had joined CM I introduced a lady called Verena to CM, her profile is "vavavoom".

Within a week of joining she had met her future and now present Master, they chatted on the phone over a 4 day period and soon after she flew out to meet him on his Caribean island.

Incidentally he had been a member of CM for alot longer than just a week!

Great story, perhaps an inspiration to all us struggling wannabes.

Iain.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:10:17 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

Personally If you cant get to or are not age approiate for meets and munches in your area (edit my area munches are 21 to 23 and up and I'm 19...)....I suggest the fail safe kitten method to finding a mate.

First find interesting partner or parnters I always find more then one to make friends with amusing opinions. If it leads to more it leads to more if it doesnt it doesnt.

Write something interesting about them and their profile. Their profile mentions to say this word or that to show youve read the profile mention it, compliment them on their words or something in their journal, Not the photos its always trolly to me to mention oh I love your bottom in that photo...-eye rolls-

Ask to chat first on cm, if it fails, move to an im.

After a chat or two and things are going spiffy offer to give YOUR number so that they may block theirs if they feel  more comfortable to do so. My number cant be traced back to me but to a small lonely little box 2 cities away, no chance of stalking me through it

After 5 or so hours of phone chat (more or less depending on person  lust factors and such) ask to meet for coffee, or at the local mall, or something thats shows they enjoy doing in their profile. Make it clear you dont expect anything but enjoying their company for some time. If it leads to more it does, if not you spent a day learning what not to look for in the next one.

Your attempting to impress a woman, nothings going to make me jump for joy more then finding someone to attend and or do this or that activitiy with me. It will show me you listened, give me a sense of, he likes me enough to remember Not only my name but that I like XYZ.

If for some reason she denys all advances of kittens method way. Ask why politely. Dont hound to meet if she says no its no... BUT it might just be bad timing, nerves, stress, inability to travel or unsure feelings. If its one of the above offer friendship, or reassure them. Let them know your willing to work on their pace to meet.

Now the kitten fail safe method isnt proven to work in all states areas genders personalility types or race. It just works for her... Now and again sometimes on tuesdays.


Thanks for your considered and very good advice, however without wishing to appear ungrateful for your help.......You may be in danger of teaching me to suck eggs!

But thanks anyway.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:16:55 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
soon after she flew out to meet him on his Caribean island.


um does your friend know anyone else with their own island because I have a passport and my bags can be packed in an hour....no...half an hour! 

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:17:15 AM   
DrummerDom


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline
I've found the general consensus here is that "everyone's fake until proven real."  It takes contacts to make contacts, and the hardest part is getting the ball rolling.  I've been on the site for only a few mere months but am disappointed in the overall response (lukewarm, at best.)  If it wasn't for the forums, the chatrooms, and Hexxagon (in that order) I would have already left.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to "prove" I'm real short of pinching myself (it hurts!), but that's not something that can be communicated online.

Perhaps collarme should offer a 3 week certification course?  I'd take it.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:19:17 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
Thanks for your considered and very good advice, however without wishing to appear ungrateful for your help.......You may be in danger of teaching me to suck eggs!
But thanks anyway.

At the risk of teaching you how to suck eggs...to not have appeared ungrateful a simple thankyou for your advice would have sufficed. 



_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:19:58 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline
~FR

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<------

I wanna be a real sub

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to DrummerDom)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:22:44 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
One more thing I thought I might mention.

The reason I asked for advice is that I met someone here on CM in November last year, I mention her in my journal.

Weve been chatting on and off now for over 5 months.

I enjoy our chats very much because we talk about more stuff than just BDSM and related subjects.

She lives in UK unlike myself.

But......

We never progress any further.

I had begun to wonder whether she is just interested in cyber.

But she has told me repeatedly that she is interested in real time.

I guess my only course of action is to just take these chats as they are, enjoyable conversations and if they move beyond that, thats to be counted as a bonus.

Iain.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:24:07 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
soon after she flew out to meet him on his Caribean island.


um does your friend know anyone else with their own island because I have a passport and my bags can be packed in an hour....no...half an hour! 


If you check her profile out shes looking for a play mate!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:26:14 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
Thanks for your considered and very good advice, however without wishing to appear ungrateful for your help.......You may be in danger of teaching me to suck eggs!
But thanks anyway.

At the risk of teaching you how to suck eggs...to not have appeared ungrateful a simple thankyou for your advice would have sufficed. 




Probably...but then I'm a right pain in the ass!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:27:22 AM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
at the risk of sounding Foolish.. haha what does suck eggs mean?

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

(in reply to subtee)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:27:58 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrummerDom

I've found the general consensus here is that "everyone's fake until proven real."  It takes contacts to make contacts, and the hardest part is getting the ball rolling.  I've been on the site for only a few mere months but am disappointed in the overall response (lukewarm, at best.)  If it wasn't for the forums, the chatrooms, and Hexxagon (in that order) I would have already left.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how to "prove" I'm real short of pinching myself (it hurts!), but that's not something that can be communicated online.

Perhaps collarme should offer a 3 week certification course?  I'd take it.



Your so right on all counts.

(in reply to DrummerDom)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:31:53 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

at the risk of sounding Foolish.. haha what does suck eggs mean?


Good question...anybody??

It means to imply that someone has no idea what you are talking about or to put it perhaps better that they have little actual experience of same.

But then I just made that up...so maybe someone else can have a go?

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:34:19 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

sorry nothing to add to what has already been said...but wow that is one detailed profile!  Part of the difficulty may be all of the criteria you have so patience may be a necessary requirement for you.


Oh yes patience and humility.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 60
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