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RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:36:52 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker


quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

at the risk of sounding Foolish.. haha what does suck eggs mean?


Good question...anybody??

It means to imply that someone has no idea what you are talking about or to put it perhaps better that they have little actual experience of same.

But then I just made that up...so maybe someone else can have a go?



My understanding of teaching someone how to suck eggs is trying to tell them something they already know eg. trying to teach a rope expert how to tie knots.

In this instance providing information to someone who asked people on a messageboard for advice doesn't seem to fit the bill of trying to teach them to suck eggs but that's me.


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(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:42:04 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker


quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

at the risk of sounding Foolish.. haha what does suck eggs mean?


Good question...anybody??

It means to imply that someone has no idea what you are talking about or to put it perhaps better that they have little actual experience of same.

But then I just made that up...so maybe someone else can have a go?



My understanding of teaching someone how to suck eggs is trying to tell them something they already know eg. trying to teach a rope expert how to tie knots.

In this instance providing information to someone who asked people on a messageboard for advice doesn't seem to fit the bill of trying to teach them to suck eggs but that's me.



Wandersalone you may have a point.

And as I have no wish to upset anyone after they have taken the time to write me advice to my request for said advice.

I apologise to whom ever I may have offended with my comment about sucking eggs.

It was not meant to offend...it was merely my attempt at some dry humour......poorly executed as it so obviously was.

Iain.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:44:19 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		You suck an egg then take a swig of beer. To many winos in here.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:44:28 AM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		(snarky comment)
How does answering your question with my opinion count as teaching you to appear as if you dont know what your talking about?
(/end snarky comment)

its the fail safe KITTEN method. Meaning it works for ME, its what makes ME happy its what I do to find a mate its what I enjoy when someone is persuing ME. Its MY opinion. and I was offering it in regards to your question...

(/end snarky comment...(really its the end this time))

Your welcome for the advice ^_^;; Im always happy to offer my youthful amusing opinion, even when its not asked for, not relivant, and totally off topic... {maybe I should invest in a chinese finger trap}




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(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:55:23 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelessfool

(snarky comment)
How does answering your question with my opinion count as teaching you to appear as if you dont know what your talking about?
(/end snarky comment)

its the fail safe KITTEN method. Meaning it works for ME, its what makes ME happy its what I do to find a mate its what I enjoy when someone is persuing ME. Its MY opinion. and I was offering it in regards to your question...

(/end snarky comment...(really its the end this time))

Your welcome for the advice ^_^;; Im always happy to offer my youthful amusing opinion, even when its not asked for, not relivant, and totally off topic... {maybe I should invest in a chinese finger trap}





hopeless fool.....I thankyou again for your advice.

I meant no offence at all.

The last thing I want, me being a wannabe newbie is to get a bad rep'.

(in reply to hopelessfool)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 9:58:46 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline 		Anyway I'm done.

Seems were wandering way off topic here.

So thanks again.

I'm off to get a cold beer and a pickled egg to suck!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:03:24 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Does it have to be an egg to suck on??

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:08:35 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Does it have to be an egg to suck on??


Why, what else is on the menu?

Not that I'm offering to suck anything else apart from my pickled egg....just curious.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:10:16 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline 		Hey I just noticed!

I really am....Curious! Wow!

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:28:38 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker

I was wondering if anybody out there in the real BDSM community has any advice to pass on about dealing with BDSM fakes, wannabes and charlatans.


There's no way to determine what's what. If it works for you, great. If it doesn't work for you, move along. One person's fake is another person's ideal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
Because personally I find it is a real downer to always find out after putting alot of effort in to a budgeoning cyber relationship willing it to move beyond and into reality, that infact the person your communicating with is infact not at all interested in moving beyond just cyber and thus fantasie.


Understandable.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
How much time should one waste on someone like that before you give up and move onto the next prospect?


Perhaps thought modification might be in order. Instead of "waste" time, think of it as getting to know someone a little bit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
How much time should it be before the question of asking for their phone number comes up?


I recently gave my number to someone here, but I've been aware of him for several months from postings (so he wasn't completely unknown to me). Timing is subjective. I wouldn't be uncomfortable giving my phone number out after a couple of weeks, as long as it seemed there was some decent compatibility.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
Should I know that myself?


If you did, you wouldn't be asking. No harm in asking a question if you're not sure about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
It seems to me alot of people just want to swap pics rather than move to something real or is that just me?


Don't know. There are probably a lot of people on the other side who are only trolling around to fulfill some sort of online fantasy - getting enough of a charge out of interacting online so that they don't need to go "live" so to speak. What percentage that is, I have no clue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrObjectmaker
What proof do you as real time BDSM people think is appropriate if any of someones reality?


None, as long as he / she is compatible with me (if you mean "is this person really a sub / Dom / whatever).

Really, all of this is up to you and what you're comfortable with. I will say, however, that if you are getting the same responses over and over again (and they don't sit well with you) perhaps it would be good to inspect your approach and delivery because it probably has something to do with that.

Hope this is at least moderately helpful.


(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:38:51 AM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline 		Your advice was very helpful.

And thanks.

(in reply to batshalom)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:41:18 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I could use a ice cold beer to help me get thru all of this reading.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 10:51:30 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		It's a little difficult to quickly toss somebody into the fake and wanna be category.  

My advice is to take things on a case by case basis with this.  In terms of anybody real I've met from CM, yes, phone numbers were exchanged.  

Exchanging of phone numbers happened at a time, when both parties felt comfortable with doing so.   Sure, I've exchanged phone numbers in a matter of a day or two.  However, it's also taken a few weeks or even a month or so before it's happened.

Normally, somebody makes the first move at this one.  Sometimes, I'll toss my number out there or simply wait for the other person to do so.   Regardless, if phone numbers are exchanged.   I try to treat the person I'm dealing with as real.

Normally, email exchange happens, followed by either chat or phone conversation.   Most of the time it moves from email to IM's then to phone.

I try to engage the other person in regular conversation as well as talk about BDSM stuff.    If somebody can not focus upon having normal conversation about day to day life and they are stuck on wanting to Cyber Sex or are only interested in the 1001 ways I would do kinky stuff to them, I tend to loose interest in them.  Don't get me wrong I'm one kinky Bastard, however, I'm looking for somebody who's not simply wanting to use me for online fantasy role play.  If they want hot erotic stories they can find plenty on the internet.

I tend to stick to talking about kink, BDSM, sex and D/s instead of acting those things out with the other person.   Sure I'll sit and talk about things I like, have done, would love to do.  Not a problem.   I like to talk about things that have worked out great and even mistakes and blunders from the past.   Looking for a mutual exchange of past history, current status in life and future desires and goals.

Basically, covering the past, current and future in conversation.  I've found many fakes tend to not want to engage into real conversation about their life or themselves.   If they do, it's very brief with short made up stories.

I really don't look for any one single thing for proof if somebody is real or not.  Just look to see if we can basically communicate and get to know each other.   If there are strange road blocks in the way of communication and getting to know each other, then I tend to loose interest.

Some of the Best fakes or wanna be's I've encountered have had fantastic elaborate life stories, stolen pictures, and exchanged phone numbers.  Yes, even talking on the phone is not proof enough.    I've only had two such bad experiences with these types of fakes.    Sooner or later, the more you talk with somebody, the truth will come out.   

You just have to be patient when dealing with other people, because sooner or later the truth will come out.   They can only keep a facade up for so long. 

 



(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 12:03:20 PM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline 		Ok, back again to ask one more thing.

Most of you who have been kind enough to reply to my queries have suggested that I get out into the real world.

Well I have a question and its meant to be serious.

Does anybody know what the equivalent expression for "Munch" is in french, or is it a generic term?

Maybe a strange question coming from someone who lives in France but then I fairly new at this as has been made clear already.

Thanks in advance, Iain.

(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 12:05:12 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		A munch = une bouffe.



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(in reply to MstrObjectmaker)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 12:09:56 PM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

A munch = une bouffe.




Thanks.

I'll just google that.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 12:12:46 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I gave you a translation word for word... the 'munch' tradition is very much an American one. As far as I know it's pretty non-existent in France...

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 12:50:22 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I googled "french dominatrix" and it looks as though there are quite a few prodommes based in Paris.  I have emailed pros out of the blue several times over the years, and they have always written me back.  Of course, my letters never have any sexual content.  People really appreciate being treated like, well, people.

For example, a "famous" UK domme/fetish model accepts no tributes in leather or fur.  I wrote her to thank her for that, and she wrote back right away.  Turns out she's a vegetarian activist, and had just come back from protesting in front of a restaurant that was serving foie gras.

Even ultra-kinky people can be pretty normal, and if you treat them with the same respect you treat a vanilla, I bet established people in the French scene will be happy to clue you in.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 1:44:58 PM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I gave you a translation word for word... the 'munch' tradition is very much an American one. As far as I know it's pretty non-existent in France...


Yeah I found that out when I did my google thing.....no go!

I googled "BDSM Munch" as well all I got was Munches in Paris, which is miles away from where I live in France.

Oh well I'll just have to wait till I get back to Uk, which should be in a few weeks.

Thanks anyway


(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Advice needed in regard to dealing with fakes and w... - 5/6/2008 1:46:26 PM   
MstrObjectmaker


Posts: 480
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I googled "french dominatrix" and it looks as though there are quite a few prodommes based in Paris.  I have emailed pros out of the blue several times over the years, and they have always written me back.  Of course, my letters never have any sexual content.  People really appreciate being treated like, well, people.

For example, a "famous" UK domme/fetish model accepts no tributes in leather or fur.  I wrote her to thank her for that, and she wrote back right away.  Turns out she's a vegetarian activist, and had just come back from protesting in front of a restaurant that was serving foie gras.

Even ultra-kinky people can be pretty normal, and if you treat them with the same respect you treat a vanilla, I bet established people in the French scene will be happy to clue you in.



Ok good point, I'll try that. Thanks

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 80
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