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Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ?


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Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/16/2005 3:39:41 PM   
MagikMstr


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Warm Greeting to A/all,
I am a 46 yo Dominant Male who has his priorities in order, Health , Home , Work , and wish to open my life and lifestyle to one possibly two submissive/slave girl/s . What I wish to know is the obvious pitfalls other Dominants Male and Female Dommes have found with this Lifestyle, what to watch out for in submissive training/psche, I consider myself Well rounded individual Honest , Kind, Considerate, Loving, But Strict as need be.
I havent had a full time sub/slave before and really would appreciate Experienced Dom/Domme views on this subject of Pittfalls of the D/s lifestyle....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/16/2005 3:49:32 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		Lying and denial.

Two of the biggies.

Lack of ability to be fully open and being able to communicate clearly and honestly and openly are some others.

Insecurity issues, that sort of thing.

Actually they are the same exact pitfalls as ANY relationship can have, vanilla or BDSM.

People is people. lol

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to MagikMstr)
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RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/16/2005 4:39:52 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		(Just FYI, one of your threads might get pulled 'cause posting the same thing in two seperate forums is highly discouraged. Still, looking forward to seeing the answers you get)

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
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RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/16/2005 4:40:20 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Biggest pitfall I see on all sides is going to fast.

There is no reason you can't take months or even years to get to know each other, working upto (if you want) a full-time, live in ownership relationship.

Many of the problems I hear of come from people moving too fast and being blinded by a romantic view of all of this.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MagikMstr)
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RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/16/2005 7:29:09 PM   
Janon


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline 		We're new to the lifestyle, and I would say the biggest pitfall we encountered was miscommunication. We had a strong relationship pre-D/s, but the ante of intimacy is only upped with D/s. We've been working out the "kinks" ever since lol.

Communicate, and do your research--know the lingo, know how others in the lifestyle do things (so you can emmulate or NOT as you see fit). Know yourself, make sure your potential partners know themselves.

Most of all, have fun!

Janon

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/17/2005 12:41:20 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		This is very, very true. I would put dishonesty and denial right at the top. If you're not honest with yourself, you can't be honest with anyone else, and if you're not honest with anyone else, you're not going to have a relationship that succeeds. The same is probably true of vanilla relationships (though I wouldn't know, since I suck at vanilla relationships), but I think it's especially important to be honest with yourself in a d/s relationship, because it involves a life and mentality that most people in ordinary society don't understand and would probably oppose.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva

Lying and denial.

Two of the biggies.

Lack of ability to be fully open and being able to communicate clearly and honestly and openly are some others.

Insecurity issues, that sort of thing.

Actually they are the same exact pitfalls as ANY relationship can have, vanilla or BDSM.

People is people. lol


(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Pitfalls of D/s and how to avoid them ? ? ? - 10/18/2005 7:42:42 AM   
MagikMstr


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you to all who posted their thoughts on this question, I did indeed post in two forums the same question this was to recieve different viewpoints, not to be redundant. I
have noticed a similar thread in the replies of each of Yours, And again I thank You A/all
Sincerely MagikMstr

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
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