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RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 9:54:28 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Nope. i get cut off quite frequently. LOL i also tend to talk too much once i get going. Master is always cutting me off for some reason or another. He wants to hear how the car is driving, a song he likes came on the radio, he doesnt like what i'm saying. Ummmmm.... i know there's a million and one reasons. But he never threatens punishment, mostly likely because i close my mouth when he does. LOL i dont want to imagine what his response would be if i continued on like he hadnt shushed me. He's a variety of ways when it comes to shushing too. = ) simple hand gesture, finger to the lips, telling me, turning music up louder, diverting his attention else where. i'm sure there's more but memory isnt serving me today.

When i'm cut off, or shushed as i prefer to call it, i usually stay there quietly and wonder why if i havent already been told. And if i've been told, i join in.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 21

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 10:06:23 AM

RexLongBeach

Posts: 58
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

I think it's really wierd that someone would be threatened with punishment for a simple thank you. Giving thanks is courteous, appreciative behavior and appropriate for Dom and sub.

On the other hand, some folks DO talk too much, interrupt, or use a thank yous as a form of performance art.

It's usually pretty easy to tell which is which.

Yours in manners,
Rex

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 22

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 10:34:37 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i'll clear it up a bit....
the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself.
no drama, no long yacking etc....
its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexLongBeach

I think it's really wierd that someone would be threatened with punishment for a simple thank you. Giving thanks is courteous, appreciative behavior and appropriate for Dom and sub.

On the other hand, some folks DO talk too much, interrupt, or use a thank yous as a form of performance art.

It's usually pretty easy to tell which is which.

Yours in manners,
Rex

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to RexLongBeach)

Post #: 23

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 10:48:39 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

i'll clear it up a bit....
the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself.
no drama, no long yacking etc....
its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........

Inconsistency isn't fun, but it's also not the end of the world.

Given just this information alone, that it was a one-time deal, I don't see any wrong-doing on any part.

I personally would just chalk it up to the dom having a weird night and move on. If it REALLY irked me, I might wait until a good discussion time and ask about it.

Now, this, in conjunction with a lot of other things, might signal a deeper management problem. That should be discussed as necessary. Otherwise, this alone doesn't really mean much.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 24

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 2:11:52 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

unfortunately,the inconsistancy is being noted more and more....in a few situations.
i would chalk it up to his newness
but for one that craves/needs rituals and protocol,
it is difficult.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 25

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/19/2005 2:13:39 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i am a chatterbox from hell when first meeting someone, i identified w/ these scenarios,as of yet it hasn't happened w/ meeting any Doms tho.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

Nope. i get cut off quite frequently. LOL i also tend to talk too much once i get going. Master is always cutting me off for some reason or another. He wants to hear how the car is driving, a song he likes came on the radio, he doesnt like what i'm saying. Ummmmm.... i know there's a million and one reasons. But he never threatens punishment, mostly likely because i close my mouth when he does. LOL i dont want to imagine what his response would be if i continued on like he hadnt shushed me. He's a variety of ways when it comes to shushing too. = ) simple hand gesture, finger to the lips, telling me, turning music up louder, diverting his attention else where. i'm sure there's more but memory isnt serving me today.

When i'm cut off, or shushed as i prefer to call it, i usually stay there quietly and wonder why if i havent already been told. And if i've been told, i join in.

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 26

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/20/2005 11:33:22 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i'll clear it up a bit....
the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself.
no drama, no long yacking etc....

I can still think of a lot of times even that small sentance would be inappropritate. Hell in a "hih protocol" situation it would be punishable in many circumstances.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........

Sometimes consistency is esential - in some sorts of training, for example - but in general it is not necessary for the dominant to maintain consistency. Obedience is not conditional on consistence certainly and good service is alost defined as being able to handle changes well :)

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 27

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/20/2005 3:30:23 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted.

it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub.

i've always been pretty quick on my feet so no worries here

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soulhuntre

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i'll clear it up a bit....
the sub gave a simple thank you for being given permission to play w/ herself.
no drama, no long yacking etc....

I can still think of a lot of times even that small sentance would be inappropritate. Hell in a "hih protocol" situation it would be punishable in many circumstances.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
its been noted that the particular DOm in question has been inconsistant w/ his rules of late so who knows........

Sometimes consistency is esential - in some sorts of training, for example - but in general it is not necessary for the dominant to maintain consistency. Obedience is not conditional on consistence certainly and good service is alost defined as being able to handle changes well :)

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Post #: 28

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/21/2005 12:20:24 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted.

That may very well be. And I would consider that something of a plus really. Would you really want someone who felt compelled to stick with the same rules and orders for the rest of his life without re-evaluating, changing or adapting them as he learned more?

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub.

One of the reasons we do things the way we do them when we train folks here is exactly this. They wind up having to smoothly transition between 4 sets of preferences and protocols... knowing which to use and why. It leaves them being fairly good at this sort of thing and much less 'fragile' in a consistency sense.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 29

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/21/2005 2:23:53 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

If a girl wishes to display good manners and thank me for something, I'll take the time to listed and reply to her. If she is owned, I'll complement her Master as well and thank him for the use of his property. Good maners is a lubricant to a pleasant social interaction (or any other form of interaction too). If I'm dealing with a chatterbox she may be told to get to the point or just give me the essentials and we can go into the details later if my time is short or I'm busy. However, If I'm writing slaves soon learn to leave me alone untill i indicate I'm ready to talk. (I tend to be writing three to four paragraphs behind what I have composed in my mind and it is a real pain in the ass when some one blows sentances out of your mind). Punishment? No, not unless she ignors my command to wait or to tell me later and then she is punished for disobedience only.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Post #: 30

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/21/2005 8:21:42 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

i am not speaking from experience in BDSM...but i had a mentor, a lawyer, and would try to thank him for teaching me what to do...and he did not want to hear it. But on Boss' day i sent him a planter, which had pride of place on his desk. i think he wanted acknowledgement but did not want to take a chance i'd get too personal in speaking. He was right to be concerned; i was in love with him and it was unrequited.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 31

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/21/2005 8:48:45 AM

crimsontied4u

Posts: 66
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

Knowing when someone is nearing their bedtime,I prefer that they get their rest for the next dayI
Not cutting them off for the sake of cutting them off,but wanting them to get their rest,which,the next day they would need all the energy for chores and play!
I prefer a fully rested sub/slave to be available at my beckoning!!

_____________________________

Always believe in yourself!!

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 10/22/2005 6:51:22 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

no matter who my DOM/Master will be , hopefully he will be a man that conitnues to learn and seek self-improvement as I do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soulhuntre

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
i just figured it was b/c he was new to the lifestyle and didn't yet know exactly what he was doing or wanted.

That may very well be. And I would consider that something of a plus really. Would you really want someone who felt compelled to stick with the same rules and orders for the rest of his life without re-evaluating, changing or adapting them as he learned more?

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub
it doesn't matter anymore but i will keep in the back of my mind adapting to rules changing can be good for a sub.

One of the reasons we do things the way we do them when we train folks here is exactly this. They wind up having to smoothly transition between 4 sets of preferences and protocols... knowing which to use and why. It leaves them being fairly good at this sort of thing and much less 'fragile' in a consistency sense.

for me it is a case, of being in control all the time and needing to have the outlet of someone else in charge, being new myself to being submissive ,

i will run all over a man if he doesnt establish his firmness/rules immediately,i'm too stubborn of a woman and having been a top for awhile in this lifestyle.....i need strong control ,

but while one is doing the whole playing w/ others thing and its o/l not real life,
well it just didnt work for me, didnt feel like submission to a DOM at all,started to feel like BS and i was getting bored,

the inconsistancy and it on the net , nah, just didnt do it for me(not too mention a few other reasons,lol)

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to Soulhuntre)

Post #: 33

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/21/2005 9:03:17 AM

MastersBabieGirl

Posts: 63
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: courtice ontario
Status: offline

i think its odd for someone not to hear a thank you and to be appreciated
im soo glad that my master expects a thank you
i wouldnt dream of not thanking him anyway but its a small getsture
that means something imho

_____________________________

owned and obeying my Master at all times

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 34

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/21/2005 10:40:28 AM

GentileDomNY

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/20/2005
Status: offline

I may be coming from the wrong place, because I would expect the Thank You, and a punishment would probably come if the Thank You didn't. It would obviously have to be at an appropriate time, which could be close in time and somewhat spontanious. The manner of the Thank You would depend on the circumstances, but its very hard for me to concieve of any circumstances that would punish a Thank You of an appropriate type at an appropriate time.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 35

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/21/2005 11:41:46 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

Vanilla world, kinky world; time is everything. Sounds like someone needs to work on their timing. Requesting Master to help you work on your timing is a thought.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 36

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/22/2005 6:59:07 AM

Webmaster60

Posts: 396
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

It seems from this thread that many people think that a good Master should behave like a total shit.

Hmm.. ::nods:: ok

I find myself to be fairly stern. I'm not prone to take a whole lot of shit from a slave, especially in negative non-verbal communication.

I will say however, that there is NEVER any excuse for a lack of manners. Consideration for a human being, (slaves being human) is always necessary. I can be rough, short, directing, commanding, correcting and dominating without being an ass about it. This kind of subliminal negativism is not only unacceptable, its also unnecessary. If I'm pissed at a girl, there is no doubt in her mind about it.

Some of us, sometimes unknowingly, get on a pompus god complex..
I can crush negative behavior, but the goal should NEVER be to crush the spirit.

_____________________________

Master Michael
~~~~~~~~~~
"To sin in silence when he should
speak makes cowards of men"

(in reply to Prunesquallor)

Post #: 37

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/22/2005 8:41:38 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello There,
With my Master I am allowed to thank him any time I want to.
He prefers an open communication between us at all times.
If I have any good thoughts or bad thoughts he wants to know them.

There are times where I reserve my comments till we are alone, especially if we are in a lifestyle environment. Other than being polite about when I approach him I'm permitted to give him feedback always.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 38

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/22/2005 12:57:05 PM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i think that is appropriate behavior and quite agree w/ you.
I'm lol tho cause this thread is still alive.I must not be the only one that had an issue w/ this at one time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: plantlady64

Hello There,
With my Master I am allowed to thank him any time I want to.
He prefers an open communication between us at all times.
If I have any good thoughts or bad thoughts he wants to know them.

There are times where I reserve my comments till we are alone, especially if we are in a lifestyle environment. Other than being polite about when I approach him I'm permitted to give him feedback always.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to plantlady64)

Post #: 39

RE: Thanking a Master/Dom - 11/23/2005 8:51:55 AM

crimsontied4u

Posts: 66
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

I have studied and learned a lot from all of you!!!!!!
Believe it or not!!

_____________________________

Always believe in yourself!!

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 40

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