softness
Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006 From: Leeds, UK Status: offline
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oh .. tears ... Someone (cant think who) said that the closest He felt to experiencing the sublime was a beautiful woman in tears because of his actions ... I connected with that right away ... someone who can tug genuine tears from me, is One I wish to stay with. If play is "good" ... then I will cry ... by good I mean it crawls right inside my head and takes me to pieces from the inside. Humiliation and degredation make me cry, fear makes me cry, self loathing makes me cry, intellectual confusion makes me cry, thinking I have failed makes me cry ... but usually .. pure pain doesn't. I am not setting myself up as the unbreakable sub .. believe me i am a total wuss about pain - big bad bottom I am not. I find it hard to cry with someone who doesn't know me intimately, its my pride partly ... and also my self defence. Crying before someone ... especially if they caused the tears ... is letting them into a very closely guarded place. There are people who have never and will never make me cry ... even though a lot of play has passed between us .. because they have no desire to connect with my head. ..only with my body Sometimes my tears are release ... and sometimes they are relief. In the moment when I am hysterical with fear, when I am a worm on the floor of life, when I am worthless scum beneath his boot and would wipe myself clean off the earth to save him the trouble, when panic and pain and self loathing fill me and yet the ongoing desire to submit to it flows from every cell of my body. That is the moment the tears become tears of gratitude and acceptance. In that moment .. I am in touch with something sublime just as the Man looking at the tears, feels that He is.
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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family veritas, respectus honorque in corio
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