RE: So Now you have a Master??????

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CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:00:59 PM)
quote: Okay, some 15 or 20 posts in and I'm still confused ... what does cybersex have to do with the "responsibilities" of submission, and what does demanding it have to do with being a Master (OP caps)? It seems like an odd example so I'm ready to admit I missed the point. ProfJoe Prof The point to be made with hopefully the newcomers to the path and potential newcomers is that there is nothing that can replace taking your time to really learn who that person is on the other side of the slash before taking on a submissive/slave position and calling him/her Master or Ma'am. Just casually read the posts on most subjects and compare the posters profile. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:07:19 PM)
quote: Beside what person doesnt like seeing the woman/man they enjoy being with on a sexual level preforming only for them when they cant be in person, theres forced time apart. Edited to answer the ops questions: Could I do it Hell Yes. Real life online or infront of his family and friends. If hes my Owner, he knows what to push when to push and how to push. I share most of my fantasies with any potential partner, so he knows what he might just be getting himself into. Besides acts that are set as limits, I can handle most anything, with help and guidence. hopeles, Well girl your one of the few and I do hope that you do not regret it as a poor choice of the "D". That being said if your carrying the experience and you have that relationship then go for it as it is a very intimate event. CP

kallisto -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:07:39 PM)
Instant gratification (or rush for a better term) takes over sensible, common sense. I say instant, in that after only 2 or 3 months and being new to this lifestyle, I don't think there is any way that one can make a responsible decision of what it is to be in a M/s or D/s relationship. Or any relationship for that matter, whether it be cyber or r/l. You haven't had time for that trust level to fully be built. You can't be sure of yourself because, remember, you're new. You don't think of the consequences of your actions. Being new to the lifestyle and exploring and experimenting is wild and exciting (as it should be). Being new also makes you more vulnerable and very willing to please. So when one is taken advantage of (although it can happen to the most experienced as well), it tends to leave a bad taste. Being in a fully committed, trusting relationship means you're comfortable using that dildo on yourself for the viewing pleasure of your Master or Dom. Or you're just as comfortable (as someone else put it) researching a topic He's asked you to find out about. There are no worries that your actions will come back to haunt you in any way. Not sure if I even stuck to the topic at hand. I seem to have been on my soapbox today. [:)]

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:11:45 PM)
quote: I read somewhere that they have this new toy that is basically a canister you can stick your dick into and it feels just like the inside of a pussy. Now all they need to do is make a mechanical rubber cock that feels like a real cock, then connect both via the magic of the Internet so the movements inside the canister control the movements of the rubber cock. And WAH LAH! 60% of people won't be leaving their houses anymore.... Rabbit, Chuckles, and your point issssssssss? CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:15:16 PM)
quote: The thing that strikes Me is the 'examples' You use are simple wankfodder and nothing really about submission. Questions I would find more relevant is things like how they can cope with their opinion being listened to and then submitting to their Masters decision which is contrary to that opinion... can they give it their whole effort simply because it is His will even when it goes against what they would have chosen for themself? etc. Raven The examples were used as they would seem to me the most objectionable to a new comer on the path. Many are very intelligent in a quotient way andmight not have a problem with the verbal aspects at all. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:20:55 PM)
quote: Instant gratification (or rush for a better term) takes over sensible, common sense. I say instant, in that after only 2 or 3 months and being new to this lifestyle, I don't think there is any way that one can make a responsible decision of what it is to be in a M/s or D/s relationship. Or any relationship for that matter, whether it be cyber or r/l. You haven't had time for that trust level to fully be built. You can't be sure of yourself because, remember, you're new. You don't think of the consequences of your actions. Being new to the lifestyle and exploring and experimenting is wild and exciting (as it should be). Being new also makes you more vulnerable and very willing to please. So when one is taken advantage of (although it can happen to the most experienced as well), it tends to leave a bad taste. kallisto, And a fine soapbox it is. It appears that you understand the point to be considered also. do me a favor and explain it to flogging. CP Being in a fully committed, trusting relationship means you're comfortable using that dildo on yourself for the viewing pleasure of your Master or Dom. Or you're just as comfortable (as someone else put it) researching a topic He's asked you to find out about. There are no worries that your actions will come back to haunt you in any way. Not sure if I even stuck to the topic at hand. I seem to have been on my soapbox today. <http://www.collarchat.com/image/s1.gif>

awakenednj -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:39:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizcgirl Asking if every sub/slave knows the depth of what they are commiting themselves to is a question you can't ask on a whole and get a right answer for. That's like asking if every person who gets married knows what they are agreeing to- some do, some don't. Yes, new people are excited, bouncy even, about finally finding what they've been missing, but I don't think that's a bad thing. Afterall, if it we don't do it to be happy, what the hell do we do it for? I don't want to ever become a person who looks at my life choices with a 'blah' attitude, I want to be excited about it for as long as I am involved in it. My Master has been VERY upfront with me, He's warned me of the things I will be told to do, the limits I will have to push past. I know this. And when I offered myself, I didn't do it under the illusion that these things would never happen. I do what I'm told because that is what I agreed to. It isn't limited to sexual acts, it affects every aspect of my life-- because I gave my life to Him. Slavery isn't something any one should take to lightly, but you can't simply point the blame at the nieve sub who gives themselves too soon, you also have to lay part of the blame at the Dominant who accepted the offer knowing the person was unprepared to make an informed decision. Even though you hand over youself to this person, it is still a 2 person choice, therefor a 2 person mistake if one or the other wasn't ready and prepared. Being one of those newbies only a few months in.... I agree with this post. It is a 2-way street. So much of all of this is completely out of my frame of reference... but I trust the man. He listed quite a lot of things at first that he knew i would find initially objectional, and then told me that in time they were things I would beg for. Havent gotten through the whole list... but so far he was right. Because he has taken the time to know me, the only things that I would object to are things I know he wouldnt ask for anyway. At least not without preparing me until i was ready for them. But, I'll admit that I have now idea what would have happened had luck not favored me with a Sir who was responsible. (and as I was ill-equipped to make an informed decision, luck had something to do with it :) So- to answer you OP directly, yes, I will do whatever he asks knowing full well that he has both our best interests in mind. Yes, I have shared with him my fantasies, my past hurts, my fears. How could he do what he does well without that knowledge? Sometimes we come across something that I'd forgotten, but then he works through that with me. If your response to me is to check back in a year and see if i have the same response.... fair enough :) edited to add: Oh- there's no collar at this point... just an agreement between us... Seems like anything formal should take a bit of time to get to or it wouldn't be worth as much... IMO

Leatherist -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 6:47:58 PM)
Anyone dumbass enough to submit to an unkown quantity online deserves what they get.

aleshaDreams -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 7:25:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Anyone dumbass enough to submit to an unkown quantity online deserves what they get. And comments like that are reasons I think the community in general has far more disfunction than it does good. New people get branded as being as you state "dumbass" when all it takes is some friggin patience and less friggin judgement so they are not always feeling intimidated and left out on the side lines trying to figure out what is acceptable and what is not. Common sense is not always that common.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/7/2008 9:38:08 PM)
To the OP....If in a LTR, one where trust has been established, communication and agreements have been set, and he is out of town...then more than likely I would have no issue with this..however...while in the midst of geeting to know him ...know him only from on line or no relationship dynamics have been put into place...then no...not only no....but ..HELL NO!...I have a cautious,patient, slow trust factor...once inspired it will be well worth the effort the Dominant has put forth...but until then, such a requirement as cam etc. put forth to me will only create disdain and watching my jean clad backside walk away....Tempting

RavenMuse -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 3:08:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince The examples were used as they would seem to me the most objectionable to a new comer on the path. Many are very intelligent in a quotient way andmight not have a problem with the verbal aspects at all. Thats just the thing though, so many new coming into WIITWD only get confronted by the 'what' of the play aspect... which for many isn't 'the important bit', just icing on the cake. They get misled into thinking the play is the be all and end all of it rather than the why that comes with a working Dynamic. What I was questioning was that if those more experienced only give lightweight, wankfodder examples when discussing what new folks are likely to face then isn't that just making the problem worse... creating more playbunnies who haven't had the opportunity to learn about the actual Dynamic, about actual submission.... it is more than just being a willing warm body to be beaten on! ETA: And My personal experience is that many newbies come in expecting the play side, nervious about it certainly but often in play frenzy wanting to try just about everything except a couple of personal things that squick them out.... What they actualy find difficult is when they run into someone who is actualy Dominant rather than a playbunny, someone who expects obedience, who does hold them within the rules and bounderies set and for whom it isn't just a game. We do come from different cultures though and maybe the newbies over that side of the pond are coming in with differing expectations and reactions from the ones over here?

Justme696 -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 3:42:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams And comments like that are reasons I think the community in general has far more disfunction than it does good. New people get branded as being as you state "dumbass" when all it takes is some friggin patience and less friggin judgement so they are not always feeling intimidated and left out on the side lines trying to figure out what is acceptable and what is not. Common sense is not always that common. Agree, that was a stupid remark. No one asks for beeing treated bad. Somethings in life happen and can't be predicted. But we can warm people on forums like these......well...not by telling them they are stupid. When I had no posts here..i was told I am a newbee too. LOL..I came here for years..just never did post. Words like newbee, noob are just created by people to feel more experienced and hide there own skills.

OmegaG -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 5:58:26 AM)
When m'Lord and I started itneracting there was a moment when he left me to linger in bed while he got up and started packing up the toys. I almost immediately got up and told him that it would make me happy to do that for him. That segued into a discussion about dynamics where I made it clear that I wanted to be to him more then just a sexual play thing. It was what he wanted as well, but he didn't want to throw everything on me at once. I can see his reasoning, but I strongly encouraged him to ease me into what would be my complete role faster then he'd planned. Even now he's almost apologetic when he does something for himself that I usually do. Generally it's because he's got me doing something else that he doesn't want interrupted.

RavenMuse -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 8:07:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG When m'Lord and I started itneracting there was a moment when he left me to linger in bed while he got up and started packing up the toys. I almost immediately got up and told him that it would make me happy to do that for him. That segued into a discussion about dynamics where I made it clear that I wanted to be to him more then just a sexual play thing. It was what he wanted as well, but he didn't want to throw everything on me at once. I can see his reasoning, but I strongly encouraged him to ease me into what would be my complete role faster then he'd planned. Even now he's almost apologetic when he does something for himself that I usually do. Generally it's because he's got me doing something else that he doesn't want interrupted. Lovely as always sweetie :) Yep clear signs of the why, of the Dynamic that feeds all the rest, that makes play not just about 'any warm body' but about YOU submitting to HIM. Personaly I never feel the need to appologise when I do something I maybe usualy get her to do for Me if I want it doing NOW and I already have her doing something else. Though sometimes I think she does forget I am actualy quite capable of making My Own coffee g But it is sweet that she is drawn to want to do those things for Me, that the Dynamic is strong enough to show in so many little things every day, not just the big things I may demand of her. That her submission can also be pro-active and not simply reactive.

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:30:21 AM)
quote: So- to answer you OP directly, yes, I will do whatever he asks knowing full well that he has both our best interests in mind. Yes, I have shared with him my fantasies, my past hurts, my fears. How could he do what he does well without that knowledge? Sometimes we come across something that I'd forgotten, but then he works through that with me. awakened, Well it seems that your under a year time frame with your Sir but your comfortable and things are progressing well. Thats a good thing and it seems that you have founda Dom that knows his responsibilities. Good fortune to you both. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:33:08 AM)
quote: Anyone dumbass enough to submit to an unkown quantity online deserves what they get. Leatherist, I disagree with that blanket statment. Many come to the path very damaged from a long time effort that went south, because they are vulnerable does not make them a dumbass. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:34:57 AM)
quote: And comments like that are reasons I think the community in general has far more disfunction than it does good. New people get branded as being as you state "dumbass" when all it takes is some friggin patience and less friggin judgement so they are not always feeling intimidated and left out on the side lines trying to figure out what is acceptable and what is not. Common sense is not always that common. Dreams, Although I had already responded to L your post is right on target. CP

CelticPrince -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:37:34 AM)
quote: To the OP....If in a LTR, one where trust has been established, communication and agreements have been set, and he is out of town...then more than likely I would have no issue with this..however...while in the midst of geeting to know him ...know him only from on line or no relationship dynamics have been put into place...then no...not only no....but ..HELL NO!...I have a cautious,patient, slow trust factor...once inspired it will be well worth the effort the Dominant has put forth...but until then, such a requirement as cam etc. put forth to me will only create disdain and watching my jean clad backside walk away....Tempting Tempting, Well girl, your position is just as it should be. good Fortune! CP

Leatherist -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:38:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aleshaDreams quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Anyone dumbass enough to submit to an unkown quantity online deserves what they get. And comments like that are reasons I think the community in general has far more disfunction than it does good. New people get branded as being as you state "dumbass" when all it takes is some friggin patience and less friggin judgement so they are not always feeling intimidated and left out on the side lines trying to figure out what is acceptable and what is not. Common sense is not always that common. Kinda like getting trout slapped in a gorean chat room,huh?

Leatherist -> RE: So Now you have a Master?????? (5/8/2008 9:40:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: Anyone dumbass enough to submit to an unkown quantity online deserves what they get. Leatherist, I disagree with that blanket statment. Many come to the path very damaged from a long time effort that went south, because they are vulnerable does not make them a dumbass. CP People who are so seriously lacking in common sense are going to get sucked into tons of scams dude. There's one born every minute.

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