How to get a domme to meet?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How to get a domme to meet?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> How to get a domme to meet?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:29:20 PM

subfordommeny

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline

Actually I have a specific example. I have e-mailed on CM over the past week or so with one dominant woman. I would say we have exchanged five or six messages each. She is someone I would love to meet..we are local to each other.....I am looking for what she says she is seeking in her profile....I sent her a picture..hers is on her profile.....our exchange has been pretty brief...though some occasional signs of interest from her.....

Yesterday I asked her if she would like to move our communication to something other than CM e-mail....and she read but didn't return my message......

Would it be Okto continue messaging her or would it be rude? I feel like she sent me a signal and now I'm not even sure what to say

Thanks

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:33:59 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

First thing I would do is give her sometime to get back to you. Just ebasue every other answer may have been rapid fire doesnt mean she might not want some time to think about moving communication elsewhere, especially if she has only had sporatic interest in your messages. Also, there might be something that has come up. There is this nasty RealLife(tm) that gets in the way sometimes.
Be patient.

If, after a few days she has not gotten back to you, message her one more time. ASk her if she got your mail, and suggest again politely that you move to another vnue so that you can progress. Then, if she again reads and does not reply, you have your answer. No answer IS an answer. It might be rude on her part, but it gets the point across... one sided communication isnt going to further your cause, if she stops talking, thats your cue to stop trying and find someone else wo has similiar interests in moving forward.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:39:10 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

There's always chloroform.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:40:57 PM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

There's always chloroform.

it's a fact that the best pickup line ever is "hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:41:47 PM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

There was a very similar question the other day. You might get some idea's there, if you fancied a look.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1835777/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1835938

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 8:46:48 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

There may be other stuff going on in her life and she may get back to you later. Being weird about it or demanding a response now is likely to ring her alarm bells and make sure she won't meet you.

Probably a casual offer to meet for friendly coffee and chitchat in a safe public place would go over well. More explicit offers or suggetions almost certainly won't.

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/7/2008 10:09:04 PM

CoasttoCoast

Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

There's always chloroform.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 12:02:39 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

subfordommeny

You lucky bugger - you live in New York!!

Go along to TES events if you haven't already and meet lots of Dommes and subs that way (www.tes.org). The Novice Group next Wednesday night looks fun. Or even the flogging workshop on Saturday if you like flogging

Perhaps try DSF as well. I notice their New York group is hosting an interesting talk about mind fucks this Friday (www.domsubfriends.com)

And pop along to Paddles too, which can be lots of fun if you go with friend(s) or they are hosting some kind of interesting panel discussions/demos (www.paddlesnyc.com)

The lady you are interested in may also be there. If not, you might care to invite her to join you? Meeting at a BDSM seminar is an easy and safe way to find/share common interests. Maybe ask her for coffee afterward if she seems pleased to meet you. At least you will have something to talk about :)

Dont despair if you never hear from this lady again. I suspect over half the Dommes on CM are not really Dominants...or really females

Go meet real Dommes (and subs) in real life and ask them if they happen to have profiles on CM. They are the profiles worth emailing

MsC (who misses living in Manhattan sometimes)

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 5/8/2008 12:08:37 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 12:56:18 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I couldn't agree more with MsC. There's a huge advantage to living in certain places, and makes for meeting at lifestyle events so much easier.

Along with that, I wanted to add that I've had some situations where a CM mail hasn't gone through. Literally, I type the thing up, send it, and it would disappear somewhere. It wouldn't even be in My 'sent' folder. It hasn't happened in some time, but it has happened to Me. If you get no answer in a few days, send another asking if the last one was received.

Good luck. I hope it goes well for you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 2:39:10 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Personally, insistent emails to meet would be a red flag for me. If people want to rush my timing, I'll likely bow out.

If it looks like she read your mail, its likely, though not completely certain, that she did.

There are a million reasons why she might not get back to you, none of them have anything to do with you.

Give her some time; however, its possible the longer it takes her to get back, the less likely she is to meet you.

I talk to all sorts of people, but I don't always want to meet them, even if there is some interest.

I'm also of the "meet at an event" camp -- its the best way, that way if someone doesn't show, you can still have a good time.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 9:12:12 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

I don't often meet people from CM. However I do often meet those who happen to have a profile on CM. lol.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 9:27:11 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

LL I just tried to say that forward and backward. Now I don't know weather Im coming or going.

(in reply to LadyLynx)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 11:48:05 AM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

I'd suggest waiting another day or so for her response; she may simply be busy or something. If she still hasn't responded after a few days, I don't think it would be rude to write to her again (it's always possible she thought she responded but the message wasn't sent; we've had technical difficulties like that on this site), but make your next message brief and polite, not pushy. If she fails to respond to that one, you might take her silence for an answer.

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: How to get a domme to meet? - 5/8/2008 11:58:10 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

I hope you aren't one of those who does this:

"i really want us to get to know each other, IM me at xxxxxxxxx or call me at xxxxxxxx"

--that is SO annoying IMHO.

and just because YOU want to meet Her doesn't mean ( A) its reciprocal or (B) She feels the time is right.

food for thought.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to subfordommeny)

Profile

Post #: 14