RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive?

RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 9:29:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin I can't understand why everyone is casting stones in the direction of the girls when no one here knows anything about them or their reasons for leaving. Because it is the obvious, easy route to take. If a dominant leaves a submissive during a rough patch, everyone bangs on him/her, as being evil. Same mindset. You are correct Erin, without knowing the whole story, which we won't......there is no way we can sling shit at them for their actions.

sirsholly -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 9:30:32 AM)
op...the girls and the job are not the issues you need to be dealing with right now. YOU are your main priority. If you have not done so already, get professional help as soon as you can.

CalifChick -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 9:34:21 AM)
Were your girls aware that you view submissives as weak, helpless, and on a par with someone who has a mental breakdown? Or was that just a really, really poor choice of words on your part? Cali

Missokyst -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 9:56:56 AM)
Depression is a terrible thing. You might feel like you are trying to walk through waist high mud and not getting very far. Lack of sleep can only make things worse. If your dynamic was one where there was no leeway about power, then the break is more extreme and I can see how they couldn't cope. As hard as it is you need to push forward. Sometimes working in a no-brainer job helps to pass the time and give you the opportunity to make a small amount of cash to keep you going until you can heal. You need sleep and lots of it. You need to get out and walk, or bike, or sit and watch the wildlife around you. You need calm. Depression is not something that comes on suddenly, or has a quick fix. This can happen to anyone, not just submissives. Holey smokes, submissives are some of the strongest people I have met. Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: subtee I don't love your OP title, however. You may not be feeling much control right now, but aligning a mental breakdown with submissiveness--inherent submissiveness--kinda sucks. To me. As a submissive.

antipode -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 10:49:05 AM)
I guess that apart from being a "heterosexual eurogenic hominid", you're a human, too. And without the girls being here to talk about it, there isn't a lot I can say. I am fully assuming there is more to the story than just your point of view, as I would not necessarily expect them to leave, so you need to figure out what led up to that. And no, a nervous breakdown does not make you submissive. A nervous breakdown makes you be in need of a good therapist. It happens. Especially your being completely unaware that the girls would be leaving means you need to intro/retrospect.

LadyPact -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 12:32:07 PM)
Welcome to the human side of things, OP. I hope you like it here. I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon about the girls. I don't know them and I'm sure there's more to it out of relationships that lasted years than is able to be covered in a couple of paragraphs. You got good advice from those who said to concentrate on you just now. The fact that you did acquire a job is a good thing. It gives you a better shot at improving that sleep cycle. As to feeling weak, I understand that you don't like it. I don't care for it much Myself. I don't think I feel that way because I happen to be a Dominant. I happen to think I don't like it because I'm a person, and most people that I know don't particularly care for it. Yet, I have to accept that bit of reality that it isn't possible for Me to be a tower of strength all of the time. In My opinion, it takes a much stronger Dominant to admit that they have feelings and deal with them, than it does to never have any.

Leatherist -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 1:12:42 PM)
My best advice. Allow yourself to just be a guy-and stop thinking everything going south was all on you. Get some knock out pills and rest, tomorrow will be a better day.

Guest123 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 1:15:43 PM)
it matters little why they left, they are gone, and so now taking care of himself should be his focus... imo

darkesttdesire -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 1:59:51 PM)
You seem to associate "strength" to your self proclaimed "Dominance" we all reach points in life where we find ourselves needing support in some way, but that does not make us 'weak' all it does is proves that we are human and humans unlike lifeless robots have feelings,. I would worry more if you werent capable of communicating your needs to another. If 'ones mountain stands on solid foundations it will survive the tremors of life..... obviously yours wasnt.Get up, get out there and start rebuilding it, it cant and wont rebuild itself and no one else can build it for you, those with any substance will be there to offer a helping hand.

LaTigresse -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 2:02:20 PM)
using fast reply....... I've been thinking about this whole submission = weakness thing and it has been bugging the shit outta me. Some of the strongest people I've known and seen just happen to be submissive. AND some of the weakest, biggest, morons, have been self proclaimed dominants. Myself included at various moments in life.......[:D]

batshalom -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 2:09:14 PM)
~fast reply~ Sounds like you're clinically depressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy is preferable, but if you don't want to go to therapy go to your general practitioner, tell him what's going on, and he'll give you something to take the edge off. Good luck.

darkesttdesire -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/8/2008 2:20:07 PM)
if one sees submission as a weakness they have yet to learn and understand the fundamentals of submission... doesnt bother me that some have this opinion, each and all have their own personal thoughts on things, its like religion or politics, you can't change what some believe in, but you can give those who are not of the same ideals as yourself, a wide wide berth... why waste the breath trying to educate them, we must learn to understand, being told doesnt make for understanding.

variation30 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 1:20:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth I saw a completely unrelated thread with a similar phrasing in the 'Ask a Mistress' forum, and realized that this has been weighing on me a lot. Seven months ago, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. I broke down crying in front of both of my girls, saying that I was very sorry, but I'd rather be up-front with them than try to pretend that things were okay - and that I had completely lost my capacity to keep pushing forward, and needed to be taken care of until I could pull myself together again. And I HATE BEING WEAK. I lost my job, and two weeks later, both my girls... changed. They both lost complete respect for me, and left a week or so later, once they'd both found places to stay. I've been desperately trying to drag myself along since then, with no job, no money, and no motivation to keep living. God, I hate being weak. I feel like, as a dominant, I have no right to emotional fragility or weakness - but I also have no right to hide emotional fragility or weakness. I took a gamble on my girls, hoping that the bonds of our 7- and 2-year relationships would be strong enough that I could lean on them for a little while, until I went back to being the Strong One. Hell, now I don't even know if I'm capable of being the Strong One, ever. I'm terrified that I'm just done. I keep laying in bed, unable to sleep, whispering "Please, God, let Cera come back..." I don't know how I'm supposed to keep myself together. What the hell kind of dominant am I? yes, this is inherently submissive. I'm not saying that being submissive is a bad thing. as far as whining around in bed is concerned: shut the fuck up. take a mg of xanax and get a good night's rest. wake up in the morning and laugh at how ridiculous you've been, and start making things better. you're the only one who can do it and expecting someone else to drag you along isn't a safe bet.

variation30 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 1:22:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren Everyone has moments of weakness. yes. and it's usually best to keep them limited to 'moments of weakness' and not 'prolonged periods of weakness'.

califsue -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 2:38:28 AM)
i would agree with the posts that you need to focus on you and get well. why the girls left is not important at this time. YOU getting well is. anyone can suffer from a mental breakdown. being depressed can and does happen to everyone whether you are submissive or not. i worked in a mental health clinic and depression knows no boundaries in regards to color, gender, age, or income.

whoislikeMichael -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 3:29:55 AM)
Seems like you're more concerned with your supposed "dominance" than about addressing the real issue- self esteem. Classic depression no doubt. Yet some folks crave the attention boo-hooing can garner. Who the phuck do you think you are to even ponder whether life is worth living? The most successful people have also had the most spectacular failures. My point is-- somehow, someway they pressed on. I agree w/others that you should get some sleep. When you wake up hopefully you'll be strong enough to kick yourself in the ass (which should be easy) considering you are an asshole (or insane- and not recently) in the very sense. I wouldn't want My children around Me either if I acted like such a smuck. Possibly that is what your ex was telling you (and them)? Dominant? Submissive? Who gives a fuck? Both D & s eventually are responsible for themselves. Get some sleep man... And then put a nice pair of steel-toed boots on and start to kickin'. btw, if you need My sympathy- you'll get none except this: "Boo hoo." Feel better? Didn't think so. Don't forget the boots. And a good shrink would probably go a long way as well. -Michael (who is like Me?)

blacksword404 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 3:40:08 AM)
Well your not a submissive just because you are having problems. You got to pick yourself up. If your a dom like you say you are then eventually that dominate spirit will rise up and get your ass back on track. It's going to take time. And as far as them leaving, your better off finding out now rather than later what they are made of. Even if they din't know how to help you if they were loyal they would have at least tried. When a man has a woman who is only there for money, if he loses his money he loses her too.

RavenMuse -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 3:41:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom Sounds like you're clinically depressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy is preferable, I am sure there would be a few volunteers around here somewhere to apply CBT, folks are helpful like that [;)]

mistoferin -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 4:51:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: variation30 quote: ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth I saw a completely unrelated thread with a similar phrasing in the 'Ask a Mistress' forum, and realized that this has been weighing on me a lot. Seven months ago, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. I broke down crying in front of both of my girls, saying that I was very sorry, but I'd rather be up-front with them than try to pretend that things were okay - and that I had completely lost my capacity to keep pushing forward, and needed to be taken care of until I could pull myself together again. And I HATE BEING WEAK. I lost my job, and two weeks later, both my girls... changed. They both lost complete respect for me, and left a week or so later, once they'd both found places to stay. I've been desperately trying to drag myself along since then, with no job, no money, and no motivation to keep living. God, I hate being weak. I feel like, as a dominant, I have no right to emotional fragility or weakness - but I also have no right to hide emotional fragility or weakness. I took a gamble on my girls, hoping that the bonds of our 7- and 2-year relationships would be strong enough that I could lean on them for a little while, until I went back to being the Strong One. Hell, now I don't even know if I'm capable of being the Strong One, ever. I'm terrified that I'm just done. I keep laying in bed, unable to sleep, whispering "Please, God, let Cera come back..." I don't know how I'm supposed to keep myself together. What the hell kind of dominant am I? yes, this is inherently submissive. I beg to differ.

mistoferin -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 4:54:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: whoislikeMichael Seems like you're more concerned with your supposed "dominance" than about addressing the real issue- self esteem. Classic depression no doubt. Yet some folks crave the attention boo-hooing can garner. Who the phuck do you think you are to even ponder whether life is worth living? The most successful people have also had the most spectacular failures. My point is-- somehow, someway they pressed on. I agree w/others that you should get some sleep. When you wake up hopefully you'll be strong enough to kick yourself in the ass (which should be easy) considering you are an asshole (or insane- and not recently) in the very sense. I wouldn't want My children around Me either if I acted like such a smuck. Possibly that is what your ex was telling you (and them)? Dominant? Submissive? Who gives a fuck? Both D & s eventually are responsible for themselves. Get some sleep man... And then put a nice pair of steel-toed boots on and start to kickin'. btw, if you need My sympathy- you'll get none except this: "Boo hoo." Feel better? Didn't think so. Don't forget the boots. And a good shrink would probably go a long way as well. -Michael (who is like Me?) Ummmm.....well....just.....WOW (and they tell me that I lack compassion)

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