RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (Full Version)

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MasterGreg43 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 6:42:41 AM)

well for one Sir  for one if ur girl was not feeling ur changes before u told them then the connection that u should have had espeically with the 7yrs, My slave know when something is wrong because of the way their collars tighten up, then I get a call to inform Me to release their collar some, that is the mental connection that is suppose to be their and growing, but as other has said everyone has ups and downs, and when u are down they should had not allow u to look down upon urself at all.




variation30 -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 7:19:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I beg to differ.


ok.

he certainly isn't taking an assertive role in his own life and is expecting others to do it for him (as he thinks it is too difficult). that's not the behavior I'd tie to a dominant person. now I'm not saying mental breakdowns are submissive, I'm simply saying lying around on your back pitying yourself instead of taking a more active approach to accomplishing goals is a trait I'd be more likely to attribute to a submissive person. and it goes without saying that these aren't the traits that I would look for in a good submissive...but anyhow.

it only follows that the women would leave. if they are there because they are relying on you to support them and give them shape, then they have every right (and probably, in their own self-interest, shoud) leave you. I wouldn't hold it against them. it's like having the guy who drove the titanic into an iceberg resenting the people running for the lfeboats.




IronBear -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 7:29:30 AM)

Going on a wider look at things, I know a lot of really hard Men and Women for that matter. Most are combat vets with a lifetime of living hard even in the corperate world. They are the sort of people you'd want at your back in difficult times. yet, I know thewt each one has at one time or another "Broken down", been unable to forge ahead and needed some form of support untill they got their feet underthem and purpose back into their lives. None of these acquaintences are submissive or weak. They are human. The few people who have known me for many years know I am a hard assed bastarft when the need is there and they too have seen me in tears and breakling down (mostly due in my case to PTSD). The point is you are human and what you have been through is a very human thing. It is both natural and good to have times when you question your living, being and all you do. It helps you keep honest woith your self and helps clear away ther rubbish we all accumulate. Some times it takes longer to get back on track and pick up the pieces and during that time of uncertanty, it is one of the scariest time in your life.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does."
(Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)





mistoferin -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 7:44:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I beg to differ.


ok.

he certainly isn't taking an assertive role in his own life and is expecting others to do it for him (as he thinks it is too difficult). that's not the behavior I'd tie to a dominant person. now I'm not saying mental breakdowns are submissive, I'm simply saying lying around on your back pitying yourself instead of taking a more active approach to accomplishing goals is a trait I'd be more likely to attribute to a submissive person. and it goes without saying that these aren't the traits that I would look for in a good submissive...but anyhow.

it only follows that the women would leave. if they are there because they are relying on you to support them and give them shape, then they have every right (and probably, in their own self-interest, shoud) leave you. I wouldn't hold it against them. it's like having the guy who drove the titanic into an iceberg resenting the people running for the lfeboats.


I'm sorry but I REALLY disagree with you. I'm submissive and I always take an assertive role in my own life. I never expect someone else to do it for me. I don't lie around on my back feeling pity for myself. I'm not alone as a submissive in that either. I don't see the people who don't take active roles in their life and expect others to do it for them or who lie around having pity parties for themselves as being submissive. Actually, I don't see those traits or the opposite of them as being orientation exclusive at all. I would see them as indicators that a person is depressed or unstable...but not as indicators of their dominance or submission.




subtee -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 7:49:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
I beg to differ.


ok.

he certainly isn't taking an assertive role in his own life and is expecting others to do it for him (as he thinks it is too difficult). that's not the behavior I'd tie to a dominant person. now I'm not saying mental breakdowns are submissive, I'm simply saying lying around on your back pitying yourself instead of taking a more active approach to accomplishing goals is a trait I'd be more likely to attribute to a submissive person. and it goes without saying that these aren't the traits that I would look for in a good submissive...but anyhow.
[snip, emphasis added]

What kind of submissives you been with? Wow.




Leatherist -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 9:59:07 AM)

If you see having a mental condition as being submissive(weak) -it may explain the actual reasons that the girls left.




wandersalone -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 11:47:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30
he certainly isn't taking an assertive role in his own life and is expecting others to do it for him (as he thinks it is too difficult). that's not the behavior I'd tie to a dominant person. now I'm not saying mental breakdowns are submissive, I'm simply saying lying around on your back pitying yourself instead of taking a more active approach to accomplishing goals is a trait I'd be more likely to attribute to a submissive person. and it goes without saying that these aren't the traits that I would look for in a good submissive...but anyhow.



I totally disagree with your statement above.  I feel it is extemely naiive to believe that you can categorise a person as dominant or submissive by their coping mechanisms in times of stress.  What the OP is describing is a human problem I don't think it has anything to do with being dominant or submissive and it isn't helpful for anyone to continue to spread the myth that submissives are somehow less-equipped than dominants to deal with life's problems.





LaTigresse -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 1:44:51 PM)

I don't think this particular "variety" of uberdom has read all of his manual yet. After reading through his profile, I don't think he's had time.





DesFIP -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 2:49:11 PM)

Actually, people suffering from mental breakdowns shouldn't be involved in any power relationship nor should they be looking for a new relationship.

Men when they lose their jobs tend to have higher rates of alcoholism, drug abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse, depression, rage, etc. And not uncommonly all of those at once.

I wouldn't stay with anyone going through that kind of tail spin and I don't expect them to stay with me. What I do expect is for them to tell me that I'm out of control and I need to go get help asap. I don't want things to keep spiraling down to a point where it winds up being a murder/suicide thing.

You've been out of work all this time, you haven't investigated seeking low cost mental health through your county, you haven't even gone to a clinic and asked for a SSRI. It's time you took responsibility for yourself. Because if you aren't capable of doing that, you surely aren't capable of taking responsibility for someone else.




RuheMaus -> RE: Is a mental breakdown inherently submissive? (5/9/2008 3:47:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Ahhhh, you are a human being sort of dominant. You know, the kind that has human emotions, gets down, suffers, feels pain, overwhelmed.......regular human stuff.

We are not machines, just bossy human beings. Sometimes the "boss button" gets broke.
Nothing submissive about that. It just is what it is.

As far as the girls leaving, don't blame yourself, and don't blame them. Obviously you're in no condition to be in a power exchange relationship right now. Get yourself some help and concentrate on you.



*applaudes* Excellent, excellent sentiment.




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