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Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 3:42:09 PM   
RuheMaus


Posts: 142
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		So, I'm 90% Dom, i know this. But, in the past, and even still to this day, i do have the occasional urge to try submitting, even if in private.  my query pertains more to anal, as taking is a VERY hard limit for me.  But, those few times i have tried to submit, the Dommes seemed to always want to include it. - thus bringing out my safeword. 

Is it possible to be topped on occasion without taking it in the butt?  Am i just meeting the wrong folks, or is this normal?  Just a little confused and curious for some info, that's all...

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 3:46:50 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		My guy was very anti-anal for many MANY years. It only became an issue a few years ago when I started getting the urge...and, fortunately, with the same care I used to get him from vanilla guy to content masochistic submissive, I was able to get him there. Now, he really enjoys anal play (as long as the toy in question is small enough. :P)
In sum, for at least 8 years, I was a dominant who was perfectly content to not do anal. In the last four or five, I became interested and successfully introduced it to someone who had previously hard-limited it. YMMV.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 3:53:03 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I'm a no-anal player, lots are.  It could be the sort you attract or how you're putting yourself across, it could just be luck, who knows?

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, but it sounded from your post that it's coming up during the scene and you're needing to safeword on it while playing... why isn't this being discussed long before play starts since it's a hard limit?

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 3:57:31 PM   
RuheMaus


Posts: 142
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I do discuss it before scenes, but it usually comes up as, "I know you said anal is a hard limit, but ALL guys say that..." in scene.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 4:00:39 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		If that's the case, then I'd lean heavily toward it being a problem of who you're choosing for partners.  That's not a misunderstanding or slip, but a mindset that you seem to have a tendency to match up with.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 4:07:05 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RuheMaus

I do discuss it before scenes, but it usually comes up as, "I know you said anal is a hard limit, but ALL guys say that..." in scene.


that's the funniest line all day. Not all guys say that. In fact a great deal of submissive guys ask for it (go check the s-guys rpofiles a bit and find out)

MsRumpus is right...it's in the mindset of the type of female you attract. If it's bottoming for a scene and that's what you're looking for, (I know I say it often) but go see a Pro, I can just about promise they're not gonna bring it up. Especially not to the point of needing a safeword.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 4:58:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I have topped other doms, and there is just no way I would mess with something that they said was a hard limit, especially in the middle of a scene!  Do these women treat all their play partners that way?  

I have a long list of things I enjoy, but I can leave any given one of them--or dozen of them--out of a scene if it's my play partner's limit.  MIGHT introduce the concept as a mindfuck, but not at the first play meet.  It's how I keep playing with folks, really, not making them run off because I'm irresponsible....

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:16:15 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		love anal sex ..and yes me as the bottom for my mistress  geez how many times have i said that before ?  at one time i was a average vanilla guy but once my lady my mistress started playing with my ass i was all hers  cant believe how much i love it as much as i do  50 years young and still having fun  i have topped probable 5 women before and i loved being in a females ass too it really is a special time 2 people share with each other  mal

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:21:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yeah, we know what you like, Mal!

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:25:38 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RuheMaus

So, I'm 90% Dom, i know this. But, in the past, and even still to this day, i do have the occasional urge to try submitting, even if in private.  \


I can't tell you how many times Dommes have told me they get emails from "Dom's" who beg to submit to them.

But you know...it ain't all that odd.

Men are men....(and women are women).

Women are exceptional...and beautiful.

Of course men, even "Dom's", are going to want to submit to women....they're gorgeous...that isn't odd.

Women are incredible....get over it (Dommes)....you're amazing...

Lose the whole "I can't believe how many 'Dom's' want to submit to me' gig....you're beautiful...we're guys....

(This ain't rocket science).



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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:31:10 PM   
DianeB


Posts: 166
Joined: 1/30/2006
Status: offline 		Try it you just might like it....


Diane

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:34:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I would suggest that you start putting as much into negotiation when you bottom as you do when you top.  This might help to eliminate the problem.

When you top, aren't the hard limits of your bottom exactly that?  Hard limits?

Take a little more time evaluating who you will be bottoming to.


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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:36:11 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, so this isn't so much a "question about anal" as it it a "question about how to avoid anal"...

Say no.
Keep saying it.
Mean it.
Let your Domme know, under no uncertain terms, that this would be a relationship killer.

(It's worked for women for millenia...)

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:48:57 PM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		a little superglue between the cheeks pretty much stops any more conversation about it.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:52:32 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

a little superglue between the cheeks pretty much stops any more conversation about it.


Surely to stop conversation, the glue needs to be placed between the lips. Either that or glue my tongue to my nose. 

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 5:57:46 PM   
NumberSix


Posts: 1378
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Just a pinch between the cheek and gum.........

Best radio in the world, one tap and you got Copenhagen.

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 7:26:04 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		So you're running into multiple Dommes that not only completely disregard negotiated hard limits, but just can't keep themselves away from your ass? It's a strange land you're in, mister. 

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 7:34:49 PM   
MistressPav


Posts: 350
Joined: 11/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB

Try it you just might like it....


Diane


A man's ass in the right Domme's dungeon is all it takes.
One P-milking and P-induced orgasm and he'll be hooked.


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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 8:02:11 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		agrees with you 100 percent Ms Pav  boy i sure was  mal

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RE: Question on anal... - 5/9/2008 8:42:56 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RuheMaus
Is it possible to be topped on occasion without taking it in the butt?  Am i just meeting the wrong folks, or is this normal?  Just a little confused and curious for some info, that's all...


The reasons for wanting to include anal in a scene vary.  For me it's about seeing him vulnerable and on all fours whimpering like a girl.  This turns me on.  Therefore, a submissive whose hard limit is anal would not be of much interest to me, personally.

But there are also a lot of Dommes out there who wouldn't place such an emphasis on anal.  It's quite possible to thoroughly dominate someone without ever touching them, let alone doing the humpty dance with their sphincter.

To a degree you could say that it's about what the Domme wants and not what you want, but in the case of hard limits I think it's a bit different.  As I've said in a previous thread, there is a difference between pushing limits and just flat out not being compatible with someone.  In my opinion setting a "hard limit" is pretty serious and not something that a submissive would do lightly.  Even we Dommes have hard limits of our own.

There's always a professional Domme, but that often lacks the spiritual/emotional connection that could otherwise be developed with someone interested in an actual relationship.  The advantage to a pro-Domme is that scenes can be negotiated ahead of time in order to act out a fantasy or just for some temporary release now and again, however.

It does sound to me, though, like you're only on the fence about this one thing, and don't necessarily have a two-mile long list of other things you absolutely would never do, so I'd say all you need to do is keep looking for a Domme who's more compatible with you.  It might take a while, but never say never.


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