RE: Can someone explain please?

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Focus50 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 3:51:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 and skip the posts that say that all people who use "under consideration" are bad or wannebees. quote: it is good to show people that there is more then one way...and make them think..agree Looking at these two separate posts of yours, it's good to show people that consistency is anything you say at any given time, too! To the OP, when I first responded to your post, I had no knowledge of whether you were r/t with this dom or you were "under consideration" from some stranger on the Net. Most newbies get hooked by the latter, and that's how I went.... As for collars, they come with a variety of names or qualifiers. Me, I use two descriptions.... The biggie is simply "my collar" and denotes ownership along with committment at probably a wedding ring level. Certainly we are monogamously 24/7... The other is a "training collar". I suppose it equates to a b/f, g/f level of intimacy and it has several purposes, both practical and symbolic. Mostly, it's what the name suggests - when I'm teaching her what she needs to know to serve me, it denotes her place and helps set the desired headspace for her; that she is property who does as commanded etc. Focus.

RichardandV -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 3:51:39 PM)
I don't think that all collars have significates, I do know that the standard color of white is widely used for "labeling" a new slave, aka meaning.... not completely trained. Do not touch, do not speak do not approch. Speak with their Master. As I was typing this we travel the mid-west and most understand this. But I can not say that it is the same everywhere. Respectfully, V

Focus50 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:03:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl sorry for not reading the other replies first quote: ORIGINAL: EagerToPleaseYou My question is: What is the difference between being under consideration and being in training? Are they the same? perhaps this is something you should have asked before accepting his training collar - that's my advice. I don't accept this when a sub is new and dealing with a supposedly experienced dom. More often than not, the dom who's selective in what he tells that newbie is more experienced at manipulation. Yeah, yeah, she is still a mature adult but newbie subs of almost any age are often preoccupied with just wanting to feel the dynamic. It offends my own sense of justice to put the onus on the inexperienced to ask exactly the right questions of the other who is allegedly experienced. Focus.

mastersvixen -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:04:38 PM)
Oo my first post too. Hunni if you are new to this as your Dom is aware then ask Him, the only two people who know what is going on is YOU and HIM. Communication is KEY. It is one of the most important aspects of a successful realtionship whether it is a D/s one or vanilla. He may be your Dom but He is not a mind reader.... ask Him. I find it odd He would grant you a collar without any explanation as to what it pertains.

RealSub58 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:09:33 PM)
Poly ...your defintion is standard text. But You mentioned he was married? Now he has 3 women to fit the standard text defintion of poly with. Does the wife know he's poly and sharing his "love"? I wonder how much time he will have with all women concerned, esp since he is a man picking up women in the dating arena only to make then into sweet obedient submissives and what his wife knows of all this and and and and and and....the outcome may not be what you ever expected !! I am either eternal pessimist or the enlightened realist.

RealSub58 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:13:57 PM)
mastersvixen We all start somewhere ! Welcome and good first post !!

thornhappy -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:43:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CountrySong I can tell you one good use for a collar of consideration. It gives your sub a little more power to say NO in the meat market situations she often finds herself in at play parties. A lot of the males there think her saying NO is just her saying "MAYBE just ask me later and try harder". The reaction tends to be different if she is collared in any way. No means go ask her Master and then when he says No they sulk but they do leave her alone. Respectfully, this line of thought's always miffed me. If someone's not got the huevos to be assertive in such an environment, they shouldn't get involved. It's no different than being in a vanilla club with lots of men interested in you. If they don't take the first "no" for an answer, just tell them to sod off. thornhappy

EagerToPleaseYou -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 4:56:21 PM)
No, he isn't married. I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear.

KatyLied -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 5:10:28 PM)
quote: we never leave a new slave unattend during large events. Wow, if I had to worry about leaving someone attended at an event I'd either find different events or not take the person in the first place.

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 5:27:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RichardandV Interestin thread, I think that everyone has their own belives on what a "training" collar means. In our household a slave who first enters is given a training collar. Yes they have been accepted all ready and are not under consideration, they belong to the household. The significate of the collar is letting everyone else know that they are still being trained and to act accordingly. Its actually very good for the new slave as we travel to different events and a slave wearing a training collar is never approched asked a question or anything. The only exception is from those who doesn't understand the signaficate of a white collar, thats why we never leave a new slave unattend during large events. Respectfully, V ??? what happens if theyre left unattended? the dingos get them? ok i kinda dont wanna be snarky-but i really dont get it.

KatyLied -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 5:36:58 PM)
I wouldn't understand levels of collars or colors of collars. And I wouldn't bother to learn about it. Why can't people just have a relationship without making it so difficult?

RichardandV -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 6:49:01 PM)
Its because they are being trained proper protocal by our house standards, and until they have learned they are not left along. Oh and thanks for the warm fuzzy welcome. Respectfully, Lady V

CalifChick -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 6:55:32 PM)
Whew! Glad I wasn't the only one who thought collar color was merely related to fashion statement or personal preference. Cali

KatyLied -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 6:59:27 PM)
I'm not the welcoming committee....is there a welcoming committee collar?

peppermint -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 7:08:11 PM)
Never use the word assume. Instead of saying, "I am assuming that he has accepted the responsibility of training me and that at some point he will decide whether he'd like to own me."....you should be saying, "Sir and i discussed what the collar meant to him. After the discussion i know that he wants me to XXX and the collar will lead to YYY." Never but never assume you know what the other is thinking. I'm sure you've heard the words communication, communication, communication. Assumptions are NOT communication. Discussion of each others' intentions IS communication.

Justme696 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 8:31:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint Never use the word assume. Instead of saying, "I am assuming that he has accepted the responsibility of training me and that at some point he will decide whether he'd like to own me."....you should be saying, "Sir and i discussed what the collar meant to him. After the discussion i know that he wants me to XXX and the collar will lead to YYY." Never but never assume you know what the other is thinking. I'm sure you've heard the words communication, communication, communication. Assumptions are NOT communication. Discussion of each others' intentions IS communication. assuming or having intentions.....both do mean...not sure if it happens..... don't see why one is communication and the other not

Justme696 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 8:38:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 and skip the posts that say that all people who use "under consideration" are bad or wannebees. quote: it is good to show people that there is more then one way...and make them think..agree Looking at these two separate posts of yours, it's good to show people that consistency is anything you say at any given time, too! Consistency as in never change your view when some one made their point clear.? Why didn't you post the small discussion in between..afther which I made the second remark? Beeing stuborn..is not looking strong and strict...perhaps you think so... me not. ___ -first remark was when some one answered harsh in my opinion -then that person explained what he tried to do -second remark made, with a changed view because of the explanation It is called communication. PErhaps you should do focus on the discussion and not what you wanna see as your opinion.

CalifChick -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 8:42:23 PM)
Justme, I disagree with your definition of "assume"... the word means "guess to be true", it does not mean "not sure if it happens." Cali

AtlantisKing111 -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 9:01:34 PM)
Focus pretty much summed it up for me.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Can someone explain please? (5/11/2008 9:09:26 PM)
An interesting thread as well as different views on the subject,the ONLY collar a slave wears at our house is the one and only permanent collar and then only earned by loyal,devoted service to us both,it may take a year or more, While the collar of consideration or a training collar isn't for us whom am I to say it doesn't work for others...As in any thing use what works for you..bounty

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