Wannabe Vanilla

Wannabe Vanilla (Full Version)

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Owner4SexSlave -> Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 3:10:14 AM)
In the spirit of posts regarding wannabe's... Who here has ever played the role of a Wannabe Vanilla, I don't mean this in any negative context. I mean, who has tried like hell to swear off, disvow BDSM like it was some mortal sin. Tried like hell to fit in with the so called norm of society, but no matter how hard you tried. The closet door you were trying to keep shut on BDSM, really did not work, things just seemed to ooze out from under the door anyways?

angelslave77 -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 3:24:27 AM)
OMG yes, I think I have even used the door metaphor. I found BDSM when I about 19/20 but didnt fully understand and thought it was wrong, so I tried so hard to be normal.8 year nilla marriage 4 kids later and i couldnt hide from it anymore, and looking back over the years all the porn I aquired was BDSM based to some extent my fantasies were always kinky, I was always different and i knew something was missing. So I started explore the idea again, realised that (for many reasons) my marriage was never going to work and left, and allowed my submissive side to kick in again and I have never been happier or more content

MercTech -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 6:58:51 AM)
Gad, I have decades of trying to fit my dodecahedron shaped personallity into a square vanilla hole. I tried but it didn't satisfy or keep my interest for long. Stefan

lizcgirl -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 7:39:22 AM)
I didn't know the details of BDSM but I knew that I believed there was something 'wrong' with me. I wasn't happy with vanilla relationships- it always felt like there was something missing for me. So I fought it, I threw myself into religion and church and other things to try and 'control' myself and be content with what I believed was acceptable. I was even more miserable and felt worse instead of better. Finally I took a year to myself and really looked at what made me happy, not what others expected of me or what was considered normal. Now I'm happier than ever and I would never consider trying to 'fit in' with those who would condemn me for being happy.

MladyHathor -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:06:19 AM)
*I think most of us have at one time or another.*

Dnomyar -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:08:32 AM)
lizc why do you say that there was someting wrong with you. You just were lost and now your found.

Shawn1066 -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:23:29 AM)
Lessee, I suppose I sort of played it back when I was... Like 11. DV's Fox

OmegaG -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:32:53 AM)
For the longest time I wondered why I couldn't just be happy like everyone else around me. Now that I know why I'm not going back to what never worked in the first place anyway.

abcbsex -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:37:07 AM)
My last boyfriend wanted me to be more vanilla... to the point where I was dying my hair back to my natural color, buying clothes where I had never shopped before, trying to be "normal". Alpha always jokes that he got me whenever my hair was craziest but it's because he didn't give a rats ass about normal and I could be who I wanted. So he gets to be the one who sees this side of me, the other guy was definitely missing out by refusing to even pull my hair. Trying to be normal made me miserable.

kallisto -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 6:33:13 PM)
What?!?! You mean we're not normal? Damn ... [:)] I always figured "vanillas" were the ones screwed up in the head and not normal. [;)]

HornyToadsMI -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 7:16:35 PM)
Living in a sorority house with other women.......before I truely discovered my bi side......then Toad set me Free!!!

tag8833 -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 8:58:50 PM)
I had a very negative expierence with my first sub, and tried to swear off bdsm, but I just couldn't let it go.

Othie -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 9:05:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave In the spirit of posts regarding wannabe's... Who here has ever played the role of a Wannabe Vanilla, I don't mean this in any negative context. I mean, who has tried like hell to swear off, disvow BDSM like it was some mortal sin. Tried like hell to fit in with the so called norm of society, but no matter how hard you tried. The closet door you were trying to keep shut on BDSM, really did not work, things just seemed to ooze out from under the door anyways? I did that for awhile, more or less. I got scared, hid my profile but ended up finding my thoughts keep drifting back whenever I was off guard or playing with sexual fantasies...finally gave in

Usako -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 9:38:05 PM)
I'm just me, there is no lable to describe my wonder.

Padriag -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 9:56:04 PM)
Oh... I tried to fit into society for the first 20 or so years of my life. Never did get the knack of it.

azropedntied -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 9:56:06 PM)
Perfect discriptive for me as well and i bet many others .I too have tried to live a lie then i said screw it and live as me .What can i say i am a bdsm kink fetish freak , a square peg smashed into a triangle hole with a leather clad hammer . quote: ORIGINAL: Usako I'm just me, there is no lable to describe my wonder.

slavegirljoy -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:00:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OmegaG For the longest time I wondered why I couldn't just be happy like everyone else around me. me too!! Everyone i knew seemed to be happy and living a 'normal' life. After my marriage ended when i was 27, which had been my first D/s and kinky relationship, i thought that i wanted to just live a 'normal' life, like 'everybody' else. i tried and i tried and i met some really wonderful, nonkinky, nondoms, and i should have been very happy with any of them. But, i was miserable every time, after about 2 or 3 months of living the very borrrring (zzzzzz) and monotonous 'normal' life. Of course, there was always some 'reason' why it just didn't work out. It was never because it was the wrong type of relationship. Then, one night, about 7 years after my marriage ended and having had no involvement in D/s or kink since then, i had a dream about my exhusband and it woke me up and i began to remember what it was that was so good about that relationship and i realized that it was the missing element from all of my subsequent relationships and it was what i needed to be fulfilled and that was i needed to be in a very D/s relationship. And, bingo, that's what i went back to and that's what i have stayed with and i will never go back to 'normal' again. quote: Now that I know why I'm not going back to what never worked in the first place anyway. me, too!! Edited because i can't subtract. 1985-92 is 7 years (duh). joy Owned servant of Master David

ownedgirlie -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:12:07 PM)
Definitely. My ex husband was convinced that my thoughts were deviant and evil and reflective of mental illness. For awhile he had me convinced of that, too. But my inner drive to find the real me led me to where I needed to be.

azropedntied -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:15:25 PM)
Deviant thoughts and actions in an adult consensual way can be a great thing pity he shall now miss out .Nobody should be subjected to that sorry you had to go through that yet it was a part of your journey i somehow i bet your stronger for it now . best wishes .. quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Definitely. My ex husband was convinced that my thoughts were deviant and evil and reflective of mental illness. For awhile he had me convinced of that, too. But my inner drive to find the real me led me to where I needed to be.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Wannabe Vanilla (5/12/2008 10:17:28 PM)
Thank you for your well wishes, azropedntied. My life is much, much better now. :)

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