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Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 2:03:47 PM   
MistressAdrian08


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		I am interessted in becoming a mitress. I know I will enjoy it. I want to get paid. Any advice?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 2:11:08 PM   
Renee7852


Posts: 88
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		Old school thought here:  start out as a submissive/slave and learn all you can.  There are lots of good books out there nowdays but nothing is as good as hands on experience.  Also you could consider finding a mentor...ck out local munches/parties in your area and see who you connect with.  Best of luck!

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 2:13:21 PM   
abqowner


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/1/2008
Status: offline 		I'm going to have to go on a few assumptions here, so bear with me.  If you "know you will enjoy it", does this mean you've never actually done it before?  If that's the case, I'd suggest beginning as a student to a local Mistress.  If you're near a larger city (especially NYC) it should be easy to find one.  Don't expect the lessons to be free though!  There may even be dungeons in and around the NJ area that are hiring. 

For a Mistress, especially a pro, experience is critical.  So you may be jumping into some deep waters rather quickly.  Perhaps you should join some local communities, and work your way into a pro position.

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 2:15:09 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't agree with going to bottom route first. If being a D-type is naturally who you are, you're never going to take away the same things that an s-type will take away from serving. As for learning how to use your tools, go talk to a local Pro and go to a lifestyle event or two. Try and head to Philly and check out Passionals. Ask whoever is there about tapping into local stuff and learning how to use the tools and toys they offer.

As a Pro, don't ever offer things like "oral service, dildo training, strap-on training, rimming, etc." These things are considered sex in every state in the US and are illegal to charge for such acts. Also, look into your local history about Pro's and what flies and what doesn.t

(in reply to Renee7852)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 4:00:57 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Find a mentor... and I agree with the bottoming route.. but its not always necessary

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 5/12/2008 4:01:47 PM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 7:01:33 PM   
LadyZee


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		Whether you are interested in exploring your Dominant side for profit/pleasure or simply for pleasure, I also highly encourage finding a *local*, Dominant mentor to help you on your journey.

Without experience, toys and space, you will likely encounter difficulty building a loyal, paying clientele.  Generally, people pay for the expertise of a professional Dominant.  As a novice, it would benefit you to develop that expertise...learning about tools, about care (of your implements and clients) and about how to do (safely and well) those activities that are of interest to you.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAdrian08

I am interessted in becoming a mitress. I know I will enjoy it. I want to get paid. Any advice?

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 8:08:46 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		is mitress the same as Mistress?

spelling is important as well.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to LadyZee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 9:09:06 PM   
dominalisa


Posts: 129
Status: offline 		First do not do it for money. Here's a thought: Start off as a non-pro. Actually do it for your pleasure and to learn what your style of domination is and what you enjoy. So it's not all about money. Get educated (ie: read), Get skilled in your ways of control, attend bdsm workshops and attend local munches to learn from and watch others and to meet other likeminded people.

Ms Lisa

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 9:22:04 PM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

faerytattoodgirl:
is mitress the same as Mistress?


No.  The extra "s" is *clearly* a mistake.  Mitres is the British spelling of "miter" (a bishop).  Mistress Adrian is obviously highly religious and simply wishes to climb the official ranks in her faith.  In the Roman Catholic and Anglican churches, I'm not sure if women are allowed to become bishops yet.  Historically though, I believe this could never be.  As for the pay, I really don't know.  Potential gender disqualification aside, I'm guessing she'll need a degree, master's, or PhD in theological studies and relevant work and volunteer experience.  Oh, and yes, proper spelling is likely to impact her advancement in whichever ranks she wishes to climb.  Indeed, spelling is very important. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 9:26:54 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		While you don't exactly have to bottom in order to top someone, I think it's always good to know how something feels before you do it to someone else. At least whap yourself a couple times with that new cane... it's a learning experience at the least.

Being a Pro is not easy. I thought it would be a hell of a lot easier than it is for me, YMMV or whatever, but I have to weed out a lot of wankers,  creepers, and flakes before I get to the people that are genuinely interested.

Do you have the gear? While not really necessary for a personal bdsm relationship, you almost have to have it if you are going pro. Guys are visual... they like the look of things (Oooo shiny!)   I've easily got about $2500 worth of random crap at my place, and I don't even have that much.

Speaking of place... do you have a place? Do you have an area you can turn into a dungeon/playroom? I bet you a dollar that if you have roommates, they will be pissed if you start this up. You need your own place... as an alternative, you could ask the guys to reserve a hotel room, but it's a pain in the ass, and you have to lug all of your crap around with you. Thighhigh boots do NOT fit in a backpack. True story.

You need a website, (is best) a couple places to advertise until you get a steady kind of repeat biz going on, and a separate phone line. If you do want to start out doing outcalls, you might want to consider a security guy... I have one for when I get the creeper vibe off of someone.

Don't advertise on Craigslist.

Learn what you are doing. Flailing a flogger around and a couple slaps to the balls won't hold anyones interest.

Personally, I don't engage in illegal stuff. If you choose to, don't advertise it. Fisting, either party masturbating, strapons are all illegal here. Check with your state.

**Disclaimer, I'm a Pro-sub, currently being trained to top by a very helpful Domme in Atlanta**


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to dominalisa)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/12/2008 9:33:56 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Not that i ever wanted to be a Mistress , yet i do find it odd the approach of " i want to get paid" Thinking -i really needed that high school guidance councilor  -" I know I will enjoy it "??  So then you have not done anything like this  yet you already have a self  tagged " mistress " to your name ? Many of the suggestions  here  are right on the button ,get a mentor , attend local functions in your area ,classes ,workshops ,Read a lot , Learn  what to do in a safe  way ,please do not practice until your education is some what under your belt .
If money is your only motivating factor your in the wrong profession .

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAdrian08

I am interessted in becoming a mitress. I know I will enjoy it. I want to get paid. Any advice?

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 12:35:17 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Research and honestly assess your market.
Attend demos and learn to be an excellet Top.
Start buying clothes and toys. Fulfilling fantasies isn't cheap.
Find a place to do business...most Pros are busted by doing business out of their homes...and most loose their children that way.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 1:48:22 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am interested in becoming a submissive. I know i will enjoy it. I want to get laid. Any advice ?

Im just wondering how long before a first post like that would get ripped to shreds ?  The OP`s profile is at odds with the post. Call me cynical but this is all about an easy buck.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 1:49:05 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		It would be best to work for a commerical dungeon until you have enough skill and experience to go out on your own. They will know what is legal and illegal in your jurisdiction.

They will also keep you reasonably safe.  Being a complete newbie is sometimes dangerous because certain nasty characters who have been banned elsewhere keep a beady eye out for naive newcomers to the industry.

Contact a commercial dungeon in your area and ask if they are recruiting. 

A real life acquaintance of mine in New York was completely inexperienced and applied successfully to the Nutcracker Suite. Now she has a whole new career!!

Good luck




< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 5/13/2008 1:50:06 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 5:00:51 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAdrian08

I am interessted in becoming a mitress. I know I will enjoy it. I want to get paid. Any advice?


That sounds like you are interested in becoming a professional dominantrix, not a mistress. I do see a difference though there can be great overlap in many areas.

Since you want to do this for money that means developing a professional ethic and model to work from. I think your best bet is then two-fold.

First, learn about the laws where you want to work -- and I mean learn about the laws. Take classes, read up to date books and legal decisions, and consult with at least one lawyer.

Second find someone who is a professional dominant all ready and ask if you may learn from her. You will be paying her or you will be working for her while you learn. Don't just choose anyone. Do your research and find someone who knows what she is doing, is willing to give your references (and check them) and whose philosophy is similar to your own. Now, how you learn from her will be a matter of negotiation though be prepared to do more of the bending on that issue since you are coming to her looking to learn. I've heard that some pros require that those they teach bottom or submit to them or to clients, I've heard they ask you to do the menial stuff around the business for some time, I've heard that some start you off co-topping. In other words, how she is willing to teach, is how you need to be willing to learn. If you don't like her approach, try another pro.

Perhaps this is just me but if I were looking to learn that profession I would not go to someone who does a variety of roles for money -- I'd stick to the professional DOMINANT rather than someone who will switch for clients or who just lists pro dom as one of many scenarios she can do. I had a friend who was a call girl and they did a variety of things but frankly she said they didn't do them very well because there was really no time to practice and figure out what you were best at, you did what the client paid for and often in their hotel rooms. The pro dom should have a space of her/their own where you can learn things and practice depending on what you negotiate.

Good luck on finding a mentor and getting through an apprenticeship in that profession. Please always be aware of changing legal codes for your sake and your clients sakes.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 5:07:37 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Politesub. First you have to become a Pro Mistress so you can experience how a sub should act towards them. Then after you earns tons of money you should wonder do I really want to give all of this up.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 6:59:25 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I spent time being a sub before becoming a Mistress so that I could better understand what a sub would go through.  I had a wonderful Mentor.  I used every toy on myself before using it on a sub so that I new exactly what it would feel like.  I see being a Mistress as a weighty responsibility - another human being is willingly handing me their body and their mind to play with, and I need to act in a way that will not leave them damaged.

I read whatever I could get my hands on, interviewed both tops and bottoms at munches, had email conversations with dozens of people, and then moved into real time.  It was time consuming but worth it - both for the subs and for me.  It is much easier to say that you want to become a Mistress than to actually become a good one.  Frankly, I would have had a lot more respect for the question if you wouldn't have wanted to go from completely inexperienced to wanting to know how to make money immediately.  That kind of gives a clue as to where the motiviation lies.

_____________________________



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 7:08:35 AM   
mistresszariah1


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline 		Just curious why not advertise on craigs list/

_____________________________

Mistress Zariah

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 7:13:14 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Make pay pal your first submissive.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MistressAdrian08)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Becoming a Mistress - 5/13/2008 7:16:27 AM   
mistresszariah1


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline 		I began many years ago as a sub to understnd what its lijke youll understand and know how better to treat sub/slaves, I as well had a wonderful metor. And yes you just cant jump into being a Pro Domme it took many years of training in several fetish and fields for saflty and knowledge and experience, they will eat you alive lol they will know you are new! And the equipment is not cheap I have many thousands in my stuff from clothes to big equipment and toys accessories and a 4 l;evel dungeon. It will take time to accummilate all the experience and knowledge and equipment. you will be liable for the safly of your subs youll learn to monitor and know buy reactions when to stop or soften up it takes time. And youll need to know you xcome across alot more liars that wont show up then those that are real and do. youll need to know how to deal with the novice whom want to explore the lifestyle. And aslot want a hooker youll need to know how to politly deal with that!!! good luck in your search, Id teach you if you were near Me Im actually looking for house Mistresses for the dungeon

_____________________________

Mistress Zariah

(in reply to mistresszariah1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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