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A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:23:12 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I had a hard time coming up with a title for this thread.  It involves Forced Sex, and few things I am pondering over at the moment.

Ok, I enjoy forced sex at times. This activitity not really being scene play per se, because it's really something that happens on a spur of the moment thing.   Engaging in this activitity has not been a problem in any of past relationships for my partners, even the ones I like to label as being vanilla.

So what's the big deal or issue?  That in two of my so called vanilla relationships, it was expressed to me by my partner, how they wished I had forced myself upon them while in the middle of having an argument.   Now, basically my stance and frame of mind has been, you're kidding? That's not the time for me to take you by force and fuck your brains out.  Ok, so these so called Vanilla relationships don't sound all that vanilla, I know.   But these are the closest ones that I've had to vanilla.  Keeping in mind I owned a slave in a M/s relationship in a past relationship before these two relationships.

Anyways, back to something I am trying to wrap my mind around, is that instead of me, sitting down and saying do you want to make this part of the way our relationship works,  I shot the whole idea and concept down and expressed my lines of reasoning behind it.  To tell you the truth their desire for me to sexually conquer them during an argument totally blew my mind. 

Now, have I ever thought about engaging in forced sex in this manner, you betcha you have.  However, morally I found it unacceptable to do this to a human being in the middle of a fight or argument.  In many regards I felt that if I crossed this line, it would like opening up pandora's box, that somehow I would loose part of my humanity.   OK, even us Doms have our own limits to what we will or will not do.

Fast forward to the present day, I have read a few profiles from women on here that actually express similar interest.  I have even had IM exchanges with a few that also think along the same lines.  Now, I realize I can be a little hard headed at times, but part of my shell is cracking and I'm giving things a little more reconsideration here.

Still I am conflicted regarding this, I find myself a little at odds here.  This is why I am starting this thread up.  I'm interested in what other peoples POV, thoughts, perspectives, experiences, mistakes and even how well this works out for you if it does.

Perhaps this topic is a bit on the edge for some people, perhaps some people will totally relate. 
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:39:11 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I like the idea of forced sex (from a Dominant's perspective btw) I have zero experience in this type of activity and have never met anyone who was into it, but, I'd say that as long as Y/you're both into the same thing then I don't think it makes any difference.

As far as being part way through an argument, again, as long as Y/you're both know "the score" then it doesn't matter. All I'd suggest is that the one you're with is aware that this might happen at some point and is mentally prepared for it, which, if she's a submissive or slave, she will be because she's in the lifestyle so again, it won't harm or phase her so you have nothing to worry about.

< Message edited by HalloweenWhite -- 5/14/2008 3:42:31 AM >

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:45:26 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

Now, have I ever thought about engaging in forced sex in this manner, you betcha you have.  However, morally I found it unacceptable to do this to a human being in the middle of a fight or argument.  In many regards I felt that if I crossed this line, it would like opening up pandora's box, that somehow I would loose part of my humanity.   OK, even us Doms have our own limits to what we will or will not do.

Then don't do it.
For me personally when i submit to someone i am submitting to their will, so there would be no issue in them forcing sex on me during an argument or any other time.



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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:50:55 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

To tell you the truth their desire for me to sexually conquer them during an argument totally blew my mind. 


I was in a relationship that was an extremely passionate union. We had a great time together and we also fought like crazy (not physical fighting). Invariably, if the argument was a heated one and tended to last for more than just a few back and forth verbal jabs, he would look at me and say, "I could just fuck you." (And he did.) Hot hot hot hot hot. 

If the woman is interested, it seems to me that she enjoys being conquered so it's really not forcing someone, per se. The Dom I spoke of had a personality that fit mine like a glove, so that the arguing turned into a test of wills, and the spontaneity of the action along with the surrender was ... wow ... ~sweating a little bit~

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:51:47 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I have to say that in my last long term 'nilla relationship (5yrs together) when we argued he would sometimes throw me down and fuck me HARD. There was anger in it (both sides), but it was also some of the best sex he and I ever had... and afterwards we were usually able to discuss whatever issue more rationally.
YMMV

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 3:55:49 AM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		From a sub perspective, I love the whole forced idea, and yes it really works best spur of the moment and Sir and I have discussed this and dabbled in a little play. It is potentially a mine field however becuase although he knows me well, were he to take me when my head was totally in the wrong place it could mess both of us up. And like the OP expressed, during a fight with emotions and all peaking could be a great time BUT it could also be the worst possible time.

I guess for us it comes back to my Sir reading me and knowing when to pull back if he has read me wrong. Because yep you could really fuck up your own life and someone elses if this type of play unwittingly crossed the line fom being consensual forced fantasy stuff to rape.

I dont know that this makes any sense.... I know what I am trying to say but hmmmm it is bed time

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:00:27 AM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Like the OP said, this is a fine line to walk.   Having said that, I'm a sub who loves forced sex.  It is the being controlled thing for me.  It is the passionate, emotional charge that comes with it.    Not that I knew when it was coming, but I knew that He was into it as much as me.   So there was no surprise that it would happen.   There was no mistaking it for anything else when it did happen.   Forced sex doesn't have to erupt from an argument or heated discussion.   But it can and it does.    IMO, both Dom and sub have to have their heads wrapped around it or there may be issues.  

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:07:52 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		How do you handle such if you really have a bad day or feel sad...and you Dom fucks you. Do you think your know that your Dom feels it is the right moment or not? And when he made a mistake...how to handle?
I am curious what it does to a sub.

It sure can feel good. But as a man...it is dangerous to do..because the accusation of rape is easily done.
(perhaps this should be in a contract? Although I think it has no vallue when noted down in case of a lawsuit)

lots of question, but just because I am curious :D



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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:10:39 AM   
SugarMyChurro


Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sex has nothing to do with an exchange of ideas and I am not very interested in "bratty" slaves. If a slave wants to pretend that she can overcome me she had better bring a gun and shoot straight at her first opportunity. Otherwise, she's going down. She will be respected for her intellect but I have the final veto power.
What I say goes. Period.

I just can't believe people have arguments with those under them. Why?

I can have a civil, respectful discussion with my slave. No name calling is ever allowed. Then we pursue whatever I decide. I am a thoughtful person and I take stock of what my slave has to offer intellectually - that's one of the reasons I have her. Smart women are extremely attractive to me. She administrates many household issues for me so that I don't have to. Other things too perhaps, according to our respective strengths and inclinations.

Sex is any time I say, however I want it. Technically, it may be impossible for me to take by force what she so readily offers to me in service to my will at all times.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:13:20 AM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think it depends on the fight...sometimes a fight isn't as much a fight, but general frustration and annoyance. One person is having a bad day, and what might normally be a minor issue  becomes this huge bone of contention. In a situation like that, I can see where some forced sex would actually allow both sides to expend a lot of energy and allow everyone to relax and let go off all that pent-up emotion. For a serious disagreement, I'm not so sure. I would wonder if it wasn't a way to simply silence the opposition, or avoid the problems.

(in reply to angelslave77)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:13:49 AM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		Great thread!

I too have had "vanilla" relationships where I was told they were disappointed because I didn't force myself on them during an argument.

In my M/s relationships the issue has come up as well.

I too have certain lines I absolutely will not cross. This was certainly one of them for the same reason you mention. I was also concerned about the fact that fairer sex often says one thing and then does the complete opposite. For exanple, calling 911 after she's been pushed to the bed and fucked senseless during our argument about the $200 she blew on a haircut.

I was finally able to get my mind around it like this: What we do is based on the idea of consent adults exchanging Power. She has granted me the Power to commit such an act of aggression. In reality it's not "forced" at all, though with the flow of energy it can certainly seem that way. Anger and fear are very powerful aphrodisiacs.

I've discussed this with my current slave several times. She knows it could happen. She also knows it won't be limited to when we're arguing. I told her that on occasion, I could come home and force myself upon her without even saying hello or asking about her day. She told me to stop teasing her so cruelly or she would never speak to me again.

So .. my new concern is .. once she gets a taste of it .. will she begin baiting me into arguments just to achieve her own twisted goals??

Again .. great thread!


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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:36:04 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

For me personally when i submit to someone i am submitting to their will, so there would be no issue in them forcing sex on me during an argument or any other time.

Bingo.


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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:39:23 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My sub and I have had some pretty heated arguments in the past and all I can say is sex was the furtherest thing from my mind. When I am angry I am ANGRY, I don't want to be touched or there is going to be a physical confrontation that will end up with someone (or both) getting hurt. My fight or flight response kicks in and flight isn't an option in my mind when I am angry. So since sex isn't on my mind I don't even think about "forcing" him into having sex. I'll save that for when I'm in the mood.

So I guess where this would be "hot" for some folks for me its a total turn off. If it had happened with the role versed where he tried to "take" me, I would call it rape because I sure as hell would not have been willing and yes I would have pressed charges. But thats just me.

~Lashra


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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:55:08 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

If a slave wants to pretend that she can overcome me she had better bring a gun and shoot straight at her first opportunity. Otherwise, she's going down. She will be respected for her intellect but I have the final veto power.
What I say goes. Period.

Works for me.
 
quote:

I just can't believe people have arguments with those under them. Why? 

I can have a civil, respectful discussion with my slave. No name calling is ever allowed. Then we pursue whatever I decide. I am a thoughtful person and I take stock of what my slave has to offer intellectually - that's one of the reasons I have her. Smart women are extremely attractive to me. She administrates many household issues for me so that I don't have to. Other things too perhaps, according to our respective strengths and inclinations.

Total agreement. I'm not going to argue with Sir but i will ask politely for a discussion.




< Message edited by missturbation -- 5/14/2008 4:56:15 AM >

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 4:59:15 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

I just can't believe people have arguments with those under them. Why?


Because it's normal to argue now and then, most likely. If you never argue, my hat's off to you as well as to your slave.

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 5:03:41 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: batshalom

quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

I just can't believe people have arguments with those under them. Why?


Because it's normal to argue now and then, most likely. If you never argue, my hat's off to you as well as to your slave.


Personally in all my relationships i have not been allowed to argue. I have been allowed to politely ask for a discussion on whatever is happening. His say has always been final though and if he refuses my request to talk about the issue so be it. I have had to suck it up.


_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to batshalom)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 5:06:20 AM   
Hizprincess


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		This "gift" that has been given to Master is just that. i am His "slave". Now a gift is given with the understanding that nothing is offered or traded in return. A slave has no rights, and only possess for a short time what is offered. Master knows that the word "NO" is not an option on my behalf concerning Him. And if an argument occurs and He forces Himself in me then that is His desire and i will take Him and love every minute of it.

(in reply to SoulPiercer)
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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 5:14:59 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'd say it really depends on the argument.

If we are arguing because you got up early and helped yourself to a big slice of the cake that I baked for the bake sale....yeah, I say go for it.

If we are arguing because we previously agreed to monagamy and I just walked in and caught you in bed with my best friend....and you try to settle THAT by forcing yourself on me....well....you better pack a lunch because we are gonna be dukin' it out for awhile.

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~erin~

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When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 5:21:14 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with you, being able to "read" someone is a good idea because, as you said, "you could really f*ck up your life or someone elses" if you don't know or can't get a "feel" for their being "up for it" at any given moment. I think its probably a good idea, if someone's into it, to bring it up as son as possible and not presume it'll be ok sometime into the relationship.

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RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. - 5/14/2008 5:25:38 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		It comes down to this: It is a huge gamble. Choose the wrong fight or the wrong moment in a fight, and disaster ensues. Choose the right time, and it's all very hot and everyone is happy.
IMO, no one is that reliable with timing...it's a risk I wouldn't take. But, then, I'm not particularly a risk-taker.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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