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slavegirljoy -> RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. (5/14/2008 6:47:51 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave
twisted kinky vanilla relationships.
This is a very accurate term. There are a lot of 'unacknowledged kinky vanilla people' in the world. Just because they don't label it as such doesn't change the fact that kinky is still kinky.
There are a lot of people who need 'high drama' in their relationships, too. If everything is going along nice and calm and smooth for too long, they will look for a way to create drama. They will look for a fight and, usually, make it the other person's fault, as though they started it or that they have done something wrong.
For a lot of people, the adrenalin rush they get from a heated argument or outright brawl is what they need to feel alive. They are addicted to the rush. Fighting is like foreplay to them, because after the blood starts flowing, the blood pressure rises, the adrenalin is flowing, they are horny as hell. And, then comes the fruit of their labor, the "make-up sex" or, the "forced until submission sex", which results in an extreme calm, afterwards.
This sort of scenario can work, as long as both people are into this sort of thing, as a lot of 'twisted kinky vanilla' people are. There are a lot of married couples, who fight like cats and dogs and make you wonder, "What the hell are they doing married to each other? One day, one of them is going to kill the other." But, they truly do love each other (in their own 'twisted kinky vanilla' way) and don't even try to say anything bad about the other partner or they will let you know, in no uncertain terms, to mind your own business, you don't know what you're talking about and, don't you dare talk like that about their husband or wife.
For me, as others have said, in all of the sexually intimate relationships i have been in, there was never any such thing as "forced sex". That just isn't possible with me because when i willing go into a sexually intimate relationship, it is "carte blanche", a blank check that the man gets to fill-in. He writes his own ticket with me. There has never been one time, in any of my relationships, since i was 14, that i ever said, "No", "Not now", or "Stop". And, to be forced, means you have to be resistant, which i have never been. Oh, one time, when i had just finished a 4-mile run and i was all sweaty and my boyfriend pinned me to the bed, i said, "Let me take a shower, first." and, he said, "No, I don't want to wait." and, then he had his way with me. That's the most resistance i have ever put up.
Now, to me, there is a big difference between forceful or aggressive sex and "forced sex". The Dominant men i have been involved with have been very aggressive and forceful with me, as in pulling my hair until i drop to my knees or pinning me down and holding me there, etc. (which is one reason why i love Dominant men so much), but, that is very seductive to me and, is in no way "forced sex." Also, i hate drama in my life and will do anything to avoid it, including keeping my mouth shut instead of getting into an argument. i avoid arguing as much as i possibly can and, i don't have a need to 'be right'.
But, like has already been mentioned, it can be a very thin line between "forced sex" and 'forceful' sex and, you really need to know the other person and know what they are really into and not into and how far you can go with them, etc. Otherwise, you could find yourself in a very difficult situation.
(Edited because spellcheck doesn't pick up everything.)
joy
Owned servant of Master David
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