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Owner4SexSlave -> RE: A Paradox of using forced sex.. (5/17/2008 9:58:57 PM)
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I have come to deeply appreciate interacting with so many other people in the lifestyle here. People living from so many parts of the world even.
I'm actually rather suprised by the types of responses so far. Mainly because I myself have been rather compartmentalized when it comes to forced sex. One of the hard lines I have had drawn in the sand. Do not do it, while in the middle of a argument or disagreement. Even more so, when one is involved in a Twisted Kinky Vanilla relationship without formal D/s established.
The only exception to this lines of thinking was with the Domme I was with, however that was a very phyicial relationship. A lot of the fighting we did, was in fact our form of Playing with each other. I have memories where this is somewhat questionable as well. We had been in the middle of some serious back and forth debates at times, the stress building up, and we just took it out on one another. Then were better able to deal with the issue at hand. But this was a mutual form of aggression. This is where there is a difference.
Now, yes! I totally know and understand the lines or boundaries at work here. In terms of forced sex occuring even more so during an argument or fight. That it crosses into the area of rape and all that. My mind is literally blown away, by the fact in two of my past relationships, was expressed a burning desire for me to cross these lines. I was very hard headed about it too, meaning cold day in hell before I'd do it. I actually looked at them like they were fucking nuts in the head, like I am not either. LOL..
There are moments when I have thought about it for a split, second but I nuked that thought faster than popcorn in a microwave. For the most part when things get this heated, it's time for things to chill out. I need to find my own space, and I want them to go off into their own space. A means to keep cool everything off.
Now, basically, I need space to cool down and get a grip on myself. Trust me, I'm not a pleasent person to deal with when I loose control. Don't know if it's the Scotish, Scot-irish, German, or whatever traits that comes out. Trust me, I can be Hell on wheels.
Now, in both this twisted kinky vanilla relationships, they fully knew how I would respond and react. Meaning, after I have said enough, I need space and so do you right now. Still had them coming on strong trying to keep the fight going and going. Pushing me, until I unloaded in a rather Verbally abusive way. Then yes, to the point, I'd often break them mentally down into tears and all that.
Mind you, these are vanilla based relationships, that I write about. Anyways, I actually had sit down sane conversations about the evil dynamics of how we fought at times. Confronted them about why they felt they needed to push me to the points they did. Wow, in the middle of these conversations, out pops, all this stuff about forced sex and even forced physical things. Basically the whole process of going through this, was that they wanted to know if I honestly cared or not. In short, they were looking for a real deal reaction and response from me. Ok, twisted world of warped thinking going on here.
Some of the recent threads, such as He loves you too much to beat you actually relate to this thread, in a twisted way. A whole spin off thread of Argument or discussion as well. Now mind you, never these issues in the M/s relationship. I think the reasons should be self-evident as to why. Big difference when you have somebody who will Obey you, verse having somebody trying to push your buttons to the point because they want that Not so Fun Loving Aggression. It's kinda like this!
They wanted to experience humilation and abuse that was emotionally driven, they wanted the real thing, as proof of love!
Wait a minute here... this was really fucking with my world of BDSM here in a major way.
I've been using the message board for awhile now, and have made some really great friends. I also have engaged other people from The otherside. I've been getting a Wiff of these things again from time to time.
It's something I'm exploring and reprocessing in my mind, and yes areas that questionable conflict with the generalizations made in SSC. There have been a couple of thread involving SSC posted lately.
By the way, the last relationship where this whole Forced Sex and after I understood her motivations behinding pushing me, I actually took all the buttons away completely. Meaning, I was as calm as day, she would try hard to push push push and got nowhere in the process. She took this to mean, that I actually stopped or no longer cared. Go figure.
There are a number of things, I could go into more detail about. But I think it's time to Click "Ok" and post this.
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