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KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Orgasms and Other Things (10/20/2005 9:37:40 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sensualips
I am guilty of being a bit orgasm-obsessed. But not my own - his. Although I cognitively am aware that orgasm may or may not be that important (depending in the indivdual) and that that is not the focus (or even a part) of play, I still fret over it from an an emotional standpoint. I think it is a measurable concrete way of feeling like you did a "good job." I was married to a man for 13 years that I could make orgasm quickly and frequently, so the change is hard for me to cope with and still feel everone is fully satisfied with the experience.
Yeah yeah. I am working on it.
I went through this as well when my relationship with my current partner began. I thought I was a failure because I could not come to orgasm through the same means. I felt selfish because it took a special effort to make me orgasm separately from intercourse, when it never used to. I can tell you that as you come to realize that it's not as important, you'll stop fretting so much about it (that is, if you choose to go this route).
However, sometimes I'll still freak out a bit if my partner does not orgasm. He can't, always, because he's diabetic and his blood sugar gets very low (esp during just-woken-up sex), but it will still make me feel a bit sad, like I've failed. We may think that it's a, as you put it, "measurable way of feeling you did a good job" but when other factors are a concern, it really isn't at all.
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