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Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 5:59:56 PM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		No boys, its not a WWE of BDSM Dominance---so here is the scenario---local group--Dominas abound--elect to plan an event--so things go along, then one Domina starts over influencing decisions---over influencing YOUR decisions, ok give take, give take--then you realize--you are being Dominated---ever had that happen??

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:05:34 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline 		I usually tell people to shut the fuck up by that point.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to MladyHathor)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:07:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I've never known an all female dom group to work functionally well for more than a few months at a time.  And the months they DO work functionally, everyone's just building up steam from a lot of passive aggression and cattiness.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:17:16 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		No group can survive with more than one "Leader".

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It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:24:27 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		There's a difference between being Dominated and someone Domineering into a leadership role. Just be aware of your personal boundaries and stand up for them. In the end, if the ideas she has are sound, I don't particularly care how idiotically she handles herself...the ideas will stay long after she's gone.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MladyHathor)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:29:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ah yes......the Personal Agenda....  Honestly, I think that kind of thing happens with all events, and gender/orientation doesn't have as much to do with it as the Loudest Voice's need to be Important.  I had a happy time with Michigan Club Fem until I decided to get some helpers.....

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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:46:59 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Lol.  I have no trouble working with other dominant women, regardless of who is "in charge".  I have been a functioning member of many female-led societies and groups in which I was not Queen Shit of that particular Universe; I've also worked in creative situations where a man was leading, or I was receiving tasks and directions from On High in some way.  I honestly have never understood why some people have such trouble with all this.

In general, I find it pretty easy to put my shoulder to the wheel or contribute as needed in these situations without worrying about it.  In this particular scenario, the people who tend to lead when organizing community events are the ones who are expending the most energy!  I honestly would prefer to help make an event happen and concentrate on making my part of it as perfect and shiny as possible, rather than be the one who has to be responsible for the whole she-bang.  Running things just seems like a headache and an ulcer to me.  But then, I'm pretty busy with my own life and agenda most of the time.  I would far rather accept a task of limited scope and "be dominated" than have my life swallowed up for weeks or months trying to orchestrate the whole group!   

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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
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(in reply to MsStarlett)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 6:58:47 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		It wouldn't bother me unless she tried to tell me and my sub what to do, then we'd butt heads. I can handle suggestions or volunteering to do something, but someone telling me I have to do something...no...that wouldn't go over very well at all.

~Lashra


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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to ShaktiSama)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 7:04:26 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

It wouldn't bother me unless she tried to tell me and my sub what to do, then we'd butt heads. I can handle suggestions or volunteering to do something, but someone telling me I have to do something...no...that wouldn't go over very well at all.

~Lashra



I agree with you and ShaktiSama. If she's cool and you're having fun, go for it. It is all in the delivery.

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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 7:11:19 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		hehe...there's a reason MsK didn't emlist the help of other Dommes when organizing FreeDomme. While other FemDommes did participate in the event with putting on shows, including a foot fetish performance, and obviously attended the event, no other FemDomme helped organize the event.

The situation described by the OP, is why.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 7:29:02 PM   
abqowner


Posts: 34
Joined: 5/1/2008
Status: offline 		Ever have that happen?  Only when I do it.  I've got a very funky talent for leadership.  Even when I go to a meeting, cacus etc. I swear I'm not going to come out attached to any more comittees or volunteer groups!  So much for self promises. 

The thing is, I've never really run into trouble with it.  In fact, I keep getting elected or volunteered into more projects.  The people around me seem happy that some yahoo wants to organize it all, and I'm more than happy to spout forth with the creativity.  It's a win win.  The only real challenge I've ever had is the occasional twit who won't pull her weight.  But folk like that usually don't last long anyway.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 7:34:19 PM   
submale4u2spank


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline 		Everyone knows work doesn't get done without submissives.  Submissive do the work they are told to by their respective dominant.

(in reply to abqowner)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 8:24:28 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've never known an all female dom group to work functionally well for more than a few months at a time.  And the months they DO work functionally, everyone's just building up steam from a lot of passive aggression and cattiness.


FAD (Female_Artists_of_Domination on Yahoo) in North Carolina works beautifully with very little drama and no cattiness, and has for years.  The SM Church in California was also pretty cool, and as far as I know it's still around. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 8:31:10 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

No boys, its not a WWE of BDSM Dominance---so here is the scenario---local group--Dominas abound--elect to plan an event--so things go along, then one Domina starts over influencing decisions---over influencing YOUR decisions, ok give take, give take--then you realize--you are being Dominated---ever had that happen??


I've seen people try to behave like spoiled prima donnas and confuse functional leadership with their personal kink, and at that point I won't work with them any more.

The best officers and community leaders I know have always approached their roles from the perspective of "doing honorable community service" whether they were dominant or submissive.  Whenever I have taken a leadership role in any group whether in or out of the leather community, I make it a point of honor to put my own ego aside and work for the good of the community, not for my own personal ego or agenda.  To abuse a leadership position of trust and service to the leather community for one's own selfish whims is not honorable, and I will neither do it nor tolerate it in others.

(in reply to MladyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 8:38:13 PM   
CoasttoCoast


Posts: 71
Joined: 5/22/2007
Status: offline 		Male dom's are horrible for this.

Fuck I usually don't get along with male doms.

"Does that neckbeard make you into an asshole, or is it just a symptom?"

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 8:48:43 PM   
Pyrrsefanie


Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CoasttoCoast

"Does that neckbeard make you into an asshole, or is it just a symptom?"


I want to make this my signature on the SA forums.  I swear to God.

Sorry, just had to applaud that one, back on topic now chilluns!



_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to CoasttoCoast)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 10:32:38 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've never known an all female dom group to work functionally well for more than a few months at a time.  And the months they DO work functionally, everyone's just building up steam from a lot of passive aggression and cattiness.


I co-founded in a Fem Dom group that is still going after 5 years. Why? Because it's set up as a benevolent dictorship, for the most part. The officer(s) make the decisions. They base their decisions on what the group has to say...but, everyone agrees they make the decisions. It works well; those who haven't liked it have left and tried to set up their own groups (some with success).

One of the things we did when we founded te group was to create a Dominant's Creed...and we upheld it. Respect, forthrightness and uncatty behavior between the Fem Doms is EXPECTED.

I haven't been involved for about two years, but given that they still exist, I can only assume it's because we laid a great foundation.

Master Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 5/14/2008 11:27:04 PM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/14/2008 10:34:02 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
FAD (Female_Artists_of_Domination on Yahoo) in North Carolina works beautifully with very little drama and no cattiness, and has for years.


The group I was talking about. :-)

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/15/2008 1:12:57 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		When i was with the group back home in central New York,i dominated the entire group!!Yes that's right..chezz did but not as trying to act like a big shot.You see we were required to bring a dish to pass for each event and i basically took over the convesation with how i made what i made(i am a rather decent cook)and of course this would lead to stories about where i grew up and all and i was quite taken that i could have city people so mesmerized but that is how it always worked out.Of course that is where the buck stopped as that was all upstairs in the relaxation quarters.Down in the basement was the play area where i was more than happy to relinquish the floor and be taken to the "X" if you will.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominating a Domina by another Domina - 5/15/2008 6:04:24 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I always try to help where I can. If someone pulls the dominering role I just quietly move on to something else. If pushed on why I left I tell them that I don't work well with assholes. But if you have payed any attention you know that just goes over their head anyway.

(in reply to chezzy71)
Profile   Post #: 20
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