How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life?

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How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 1:38:47 PM

calasd

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/12/2008
Status: offline

I'm somewhat new in the BDSM world and am considering going to one of my local BDSM community munches. Since I am looking for a Domme to serve, how do I go about approaching her in real life? Would it be the same as a vanilla approach by starting a conversation and rapport or are their different rules involved with a Domme? I mean should I ask permission to speak to her first or what?

Post #: 1

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 1:45:56 PM

TwoNYCDommes

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?"

(in reply to calasd)

Post #: 2

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 2:06:30 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Get to know everyone at the munches for multiple munches before you approach anyone. That way you will learn before you approach about any one's particular ideas of how they want to be approached and even more importantly IF they want to be approached.

In general, in my strong opinion, it is never flattering to be approached simply because I'm a woman who is a dominant and until you've talked with me at multiple munches that is the only way you could honestly be approaching me.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to calasd)

Post #: 3

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 2:34:23 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Just like i'd approach pretty much anyone, friendly and respectful. Let her know i'm interested, and then lay off. Be a friend, let them make any further moves. Basically, i don't chase anyone; i'm not the great hunter.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 3:42:18 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: calasd
Since I am looking for a Domme to serve, how do I go about approaching her in real life?

Approaching a Domme can be dangerous. You need to watch out for her canines which are sharp enough to snap through bone. If she feels threatened she will not hesitate to take off an arm or a leg; assuming you survive the initial attack it is a well-known fact that a Domme's saliva is swarming with nasty bacteria that will likely cause a massive infection to set in and ultimately kill you slowly and painfully.

I recommend dousing yourself in elk urine to disguise your scent. Take cover in some brush and prepare the chloroform-soaked rag, then proceed as follows:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7y5yE6aqhw

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to calasd)

Post #: 5

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 3:51:23 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Just like i'd approach pretty much anyone, friendly and respectful. Let her know i'm interested, and then lay off. Be a friend, let them make any further moves. Basically, i don't chase anyone; i'm not the great hunter.

That's great advice when approaching a Domme or a Dom.....actually, just plain old good advice in general!
Friendly and respectful is how everyone should be approached.

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 6

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 5:13:56 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

after seeing the Domme of your choice , walk up , say hello and explain you saw her engaging in a bdsm exchange and thought she hits like a girls and can she now play with you .If that does not work try the pounce approach or the Pyrrsefaine method s .

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 7

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/15/2008 5:28:03 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I just posted this on the "Advice" thread, but it seems relevant here too.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1861412

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 8

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 6:17:21 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 9

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 6:37:48 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees.

Great success? as in being kneed in the balls? Oh you dirty boy you! You will have all the malesubs who love CBT doing this.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 10

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 8:14:48 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Tammyjo. Go to several munches, meet lots of people ... male Doms, female Dommes, male and female subs and slaves. Don't make a beeline for any female who seems Dominant ... it's very presumptuous to do so! Remember that couples also attend munches, so every female Domme there may not necessarily be unattached! So, go, meet lots of people, chit chat, find out what you can about different folks there, observe how they interact. Some groups are much higher protocol (formal bdsm manners) than others ... which is why it's best to wait and see. After a few times, when you know who the unattached Dommes are, and had a chance to be introduced or to have at least said hello before, then you might contrive to sit next to one for a more indepth getting to know you chat. And read Her vibes! By then you should be at ease enough to talk coherently and make a good impression instead of babbling nervously.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 11

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 7:45:59 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

With...confidence.

(in reply to calasd)

Post #: 12

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 7:49:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Do what I do with great success. Walk up to one and grab her ass and say on your knees.

You smoooooooth talker, you!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 13

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 8:12:51 PM

submale4u2spank

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

The secret to approaching a domme in real life is that you have to be polite, quiet, and come from behind and grab her and throw her into your white van, cuffed and stuffed.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 14

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 8:23:44 PM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

i never make first contact with a Dominant of either sex,i just don't think its a subs place to speak first but thats just my lil opinion.

(in reply to submale4u2spank)

Post #: 15

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/16/2008 8:31:11 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

i never make first contact with a Dominant of either sex,i just don't think its a subs place to speak first but thats just my lil opinion.

You're female. A submissive male who takes that advice will not get as much mail in a year as you get in a week.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 16

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/17/2008 12:43:22 AM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

Especially not with a nickname like BondageBarbieX! Hey, do you have an outfit like Anita Blake's to go with that nick?

"There are two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was." --The Killing Dance, by Laurell K. Hamilton

Lady Delilah Deb

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 17

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/17/2008 12:49:34 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?"

I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"?

What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------".

Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

Post #: 18

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/17/2008 7:06:21 AM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?"

I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"?

What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------".

Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker.

Exactly!

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 19

RE: How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life? - 5/18/2008 1:43:50 AM

HardToTame

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MamaDomme1

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

I'm sure it varies, but we prefer being approached the same way a polite young man would a approach a vanilla woman: respectfully, but with no particular protocol. The one pitfall to avoid, that we see far too often (more at clubs than at munches), is submissive men forgetting the simple manners that they use in other social situations and brashly jumping into something like "May I worship you, Mistress?"

I like this answer. Pushy and stupid subs send an email that says "Mistress, will you fuck me in the ass with your strap on"?

What happened to "Hello. How are you. My name is ---------".

Online or real life, do not forget that a Domme is a woman, not a hooker.

Exactly!

Hey hookers are people to! I'd approach a hooker with just as much insecurity as I would a domme. Don't pay out on hookers.

In any case, I just take what ever comes into my head and edit it a bit.

Eg:

<Head> "Spank my ass and call me Murray"
<Mouth>"Hi I'm Murray" (Not my real name by the way)

(in reply to MamaDomme1)

Post #: 20

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