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RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 5:19:16 PM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

Interesting topic though.
Personally, i like clothes to decorate myself, i have a serious 'thing' for shiny things, er like silver chain, and anything wet. pvc, latex springs to mind

but despite many Dom's who proclaim to have a interest in this material, alas, none of them actually owned SOD ALL! themselves.

my Dom included. So we tackled this lack of catering to my fantasy needs. I selected a whole heap of images that i find erotic that are based upon costume. He settled with the least risque one, and chose that 'bit of rough' look, of jean cut off's, boots, sox, tight top, tool belt with some rather unusual toys, i mean tools. lovely, and i was thrilled! He was very rewarded for his efforts, as he does for me too.

I rarely go to clubs, but when i do, as im bi, i tend to enjoy the spectacle before me in the female form. Lovely. Men dip out, as they dont tap into this side of themselves. I love dress up, but i guess some people dont, men included. I wouldnt necessarily judge anyone by what they wear, as i use the word costume deliberately.

When i put on a certain outfit, i feel like the person who would wear it, I am that person.
Its a ticket to ride the ride

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 21

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 5:58:58 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

G’day y’all,

For starters, I haven’t yet been to a lifestyle fetish party, but to plenty of fetish type theme parties. However my normal mode of dress is the proverbial, black, black and black. I often wear black cargo pants and black t-shirts with my Iron Bear logo on the back and front or the Native American medicine Wheel Logo on the front. Now my hear is almost as long as the Undertaker or the HBK (For WWE fans), and I’m just as likely to have feathers in the braded part of my hair. New gear for normal wear which I will wear to munches etc include an Native American styled fringed shirt beaded and fringed plainsman style boots (am going to have fun making this gear) later I’ll add black leather pants fringed and with conchos down the legs.. Basically, I’ll where what I feel is appropriate and within the theme. I’ve even been known to turn up in all black combat gear complete with subdues badges. Perhaps I may drag out a short coat of chain mail one of these days just to be different …. Point is I’m an evil bastard and like to look different anyway. Am trying to get the “Taker” T-shirt with “Big Evil” on it. End result, I am me and people can like it or hate it, their choice

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to pandoravampire)

Post #: 22

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 6:17:10 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. Francine-

I have noted this myself, and while I will usually credit those who look like they just came from work with the awareness that they might have done just that, I do sometimes miss the full leather drag look of the (mostly) gay male scene of the eighties.

what does annoy me a bit is those that look like they just wandered over from a frat house- untucked shirts, no belt, radom, oversized t shirt, sneaks or boatshoes...

I mean, really- at least look like you dressed to go out for an evening- not like you slipped out before mommy could dress you properly!

As for myself, I usually wear what I do on a night at the local pub: Clean close fitting jeans, a white or black dress shirt over a black tank top, with a leather jacket, chaps and boots (then again, I usually travel by motorcycle). If I am working a scene, I will usually loose the shirt- on a really hot night, I'll take off the tank too.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 23

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 6:21:31 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Most of all, I comb my hair with a damp washcloth. In jeans or any other pants my ass looks 18. After that there is a decided lack of those things which make you want me.

Send this to the humor section but here goes:

A man comes home drunk at 3 am........

Wife at the door armed with frying pan (dinner is long gone)........

She says, where you been? You been drunk; ain't 'cha..
How much money did you spend?

He says, well I don't know, I think I spen' about 50-- no maybe 80--
no, goddammit I spen' a hunnerd dollars.

She sputters, what the hell did you spend a hundred dollars on?
I have been out with my girlfriends for the last month every weekend and I couldn't imagine spending that kind of money........

he says, well, of course not.........

You don't smoke, you don't drink, you got your OWN pussy........ain't no way you could spend a hunnerd dollars........

ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 24

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 6:37:21 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Most of all, I comb my hair with a damp washcloth. In jeans or any other pants my ass looks 18. After that there is a decided lack of those things which make you want me.

Send this to the humor section but here goes:

A man comes home drunk at 3 am........

Wife at the door armed with frying pan (dinner is long gone)........

She says, where you been? You been drunk; ain't 'cha..
How much money did you spend?

He says, well I don't know, I think I spen' about 50-- no maybe 80--
no, goddammit I spen' a hunnerd dollars.

She sputters, what the hell did you spend a hundred dollars on?
I have been out with my girlfriends for the last month every weekend and I couldn't imagine spending that kind of money........

he says, well, of course not.........

You don't smoke, you don't drink, you got your OWN pussy........ain't no way you could spend a hunnerd dollars........

ron

~ Splutters coffee again and asks innocently~ You mean when she is sitting she sits on a lottery ticket????

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 25

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 6:46:52 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Undertaker or the HBK (For WWE fans),

He certainly drives THIS girl wild...mmm.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 26

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 6:59:15 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, my friend, some call it a gift and others a curse.

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 27

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 7:04:51 PM

sheep

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/12/2004
Status: offline

Funny...the one time I was at Paddles I wore a button down shirt and dress pants. My excuse is that I was just visiting NYC and didn't have any gear, and was with my best friend and her girlfriend who despite being gay are vanilla. They were curious though so off we went! I felt underdressed but they got lots of attention despite not wearing anything fetishy.

For play parties and fetish events closer to home I have a very nice pair of custom fitted black leather pants that I usually wear (for the price, I had better wear them somewhere!) along with a belt that transforms into cuffs, dr. martin boots and sometimes a collar or wrist cuffs and a t-shirt. For me it's fetish enough. I am not too comfortable with my body and displaying it and all it's bulges to the world, so I save the leather g-string for playing at home. It's true though, the options for men's fetish dressing are limited, unless you're a svlete hardbodied stud or you cross over and slip on the heels and corset yourself!

I always appreciate the people who make an effort to dress up and look good at fetish parties..after all, they're fetish parties, isn't that the point? Almost like a halloween party. To be honest I would not feel comfortable approaching a commanding Domme in corset and heels at a fetish event if I showed up in khakis and polo shirt. She's made the effort, and so should I.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 28

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 7:08:51 PM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

We both just enjoy casual dress at all times for a start we do,nt even own any leather outfits and in 100F temps be the last ting we would want to wear at any time.
As to Miss Di one Submissive was very taken back that she did not own a short leather skirt and no corsett ( She hardly wears a bra ) so no way would she be in that and then horror of horrors no high heel boots in her cupboard.
Only boots in this house are Sirs work boots although he does still have his spurs from when he was doing stock work.
So like everything else does not haveing or dressing as expected make us any different in our lifestyle we dont think so anyway

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 29

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 7:12:24 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Undertaker or the HBK (For WWE fans),

He certainly drives THIS girl wild...mmm.

Which one Em? The Taker> Or HBK?

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 30

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 7:35:00 PM

cinnfulhussy

Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

My master is one of those out there in a polo and khakis. He is outwardly a very straight laced kind of guy and didn't get the memo that to be considered a Real Master (tm) he needed to dress in fetish gear. <joking only sorta. I've had folks ask if he was a newbie, cause he didn't "look" like a Master. WTF?>
He's not a fetishist, hes not leather, hes just... himself. He is comfy in khakis, doesn't care to dress down, or up, either way. I think theres a fundamental difference in the way *most* men look at clothing, and the way women do. More women, it seems to me, look to clothing as a way to differentiate themselves from others, individualize, advertize and accessorize. Men? Most just want to wear something clean, and that is comfortable, presentable and reasonably appropriate for the occasion. If your inner man calls out for leather and denim, or PVC... great! But the clothes do not make the man. Id rather someone wear what they are comfortable in, than feel as though they had to dress a part.

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 31

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 7:56:01 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Undertaker or the HBK (For WWE fans),

He certainly drives THIS girl wild...mmm.

Which one Em? The Taker> Or HBK?

Sigh...
I think I'm cute
I know I'm sexy
I got the moves
That drive the girls wild
I got the moves
That really move em
I send chills
Up and down your spine
I'm just a sexy boy
I'm not your boy toy
I'm just a sexy boy

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 32

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 10:24:15 PM

lustiwench

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

M. Francine-

I have noted this myself, and while I will usually credit those who look like they just came from work with the awareness that they might have done just that, I do sometimes miss the full leather drag look of the (mostly) gay male scene of the eighties.

what does annoy me a bit is those that look like they just wandered over from a frat house- untucked shirts, no belt, radom, oversized t shirt, sneaks or boatshoes...

I mean, really- at least look like you dressed to go out for an evening- not like you slipped out before mommy could dress you properly!

As for myself, I usually wear what I do on a night at the local pub: Clean close fitting jeans, a white or black dress shirt over a black tank top, with a leather jacket, chaps and boots (then again, I usually travel by motorcycle). If I am working a scene, I will usually loose the shirt- on a really hot night, I'll take off the tank too.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

What I would give to see my Master in nothing but a pair of black leather chaps......

excuse me while I melt......

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 33

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/20/2005 11:16:24 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The men fall into two categories: the biker or proto-biker guys, who at least go with the leather vest/boots look, or the leatherboy jeans and white t-shirt with boots, and the OTHER group, who look as if they just got off work, or in off the golf course.

I was at Paddles in NYC last weekend (a fabulous space, which I totally recommend!) and it was so incredibly simple to spot the newbs, because they were seriously in work clothes, like suits sans jacket, or chinos. Even many of the tops were just cruising in polo shirts and jeans. I see the same thing here in Detroit. The open fetish parties here even instituted dress codes to try for some better atmosphere!

So, guys, what's the story? Are you not dressing up/down/over because there are so few options available to you, because the idea of a leather jockstrap makes you uncomfortable, or because you just don't feel like it?

Well sadly, there is a lack of options for men. We have two main types of local events here (not NYC), the ones where you have to meet a strict dress code and the ones where you don't. The ones that don't have the dress code tend to be the ones with the more serious players.

I think (could be wrong) that most doms are not peacocks. Try to find something 'kinky' for a man that isn't peacock and you mostly wind up with leather.

No dom male I know would ever wear a leather jockstrap (I don't know many people so that may not count for much) - that is reserved for the submissive males (now this is my opinion). Personally as a dom I wouldn't feel comfortable in a jock strap. As a dom I want to feel comfortable - in control of my environment.

Polo shirts? Maybe it's the ultimate fashion statement of "I don't care what you think" maybe it's the ultimate statement of "I have no idea of what I am doing".

Who knows until you've talked to them?

D (owner of j)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 34

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/21/2005 1:17:34 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

No dom male I know would ever wear a leather jockstrap (I don't know many people so that may not count for much) - that is reserved for the submissive males (now this is my opinion). Personally as a dom I wouldn't feel comfortable in a jock strap. As a dom I want to feel comfortable - in control of my environment.

Jockstraps have one good function. They allow you to control your private environment as well as affording protection after inserting a sports protector. I never leave home without one.. a man never knows when some rabid dog may bite his balls, or be attacked by a randy sub/slave or even have an irate person want to play footballs with him. Whilst they are figuring out what happened I've used my hands to "guide" them into a suitable submission possition on their knees. Am I just kidding ya? You figure it out. (Jock straps are also good for stashing a hip flask too.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Wolfie648)

Post #: 35

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/21/2005 1:19:55 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Undertaker or the HBK (For WWE fans),

He certainly drives THIS girl wild...mmm.

Which one Em? The Taker> Or HBK?

quote:

Sigh...
I think I'm cute
I know I'm sexy
I got the moves
That drive the girls wild
I got the moves
That really move em
I send chills
Up and down your spine
I'm just a sexy boy
I'm not your boy toy
I'm just a sexy boy

Gotcha.... Yeah he's good at making females wet (according to my female friends). I'm just a confirmed Taker and Texas Rattle Snake fan, but I like the HBK, he has style.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/21/2005 1:22:32 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 36

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/21/2005 7:10:50 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Polo shirts? Maybe it's the ultimate fashion statement of "I don't care what you think" maybe it's the ultimate statement of "I have no idea of what I am doing".

I'm generally of the opinion that jeans-tshirts are NOT appropriate for every occasion. A nice button up shirt (IRONED!) and slacks are a good alternative and look MUCH more put together.

But why - oh why - is there ALWAYS that one guy who show up to a munch or a party in DIRTY clothes? Ugh.

~S~

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Wolfie648)

Post #: 37

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/21/2005 11:09:39 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

I'm glad you finally got to enjoy Paddles NYC, Ms Francine. I love that place, but unfortunately don't get there often enough.

As for the style of dress there versus here....I think since Paddles is an established Club, versus a monthly event (like we have in Detroit, with several groups), it's more apt to draw all sorts of folks, from extremely kinky, to voyeuristic vanillas in search of a peek (at ANYthing).

Being a "club" in NYC, that's open every weekend (baring emergencies), it's open to folks from all over the world, with many travelers, not even ready, or prepared to fetish it up.

The happenings here, actually ARE more like "events" like you described. They are planned well in advance, with a specific "theme" in mind for dress/activity. The specific dress code here works well.

I tend to want to dress up to go to a club OR event myself. Going there gives a nice excuse to dress it up a bit, or down, as the case may be.

I do enjoy a man that gets at least a "little" dressed up to attend a party.

The khaki pants and polo shirt is a HUGE turn off for me, in a fetish club or anywhere. I'd make him take it off right away....all off!

K

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 38

RE: Dressing fetish---the difference between men and women - 10/21/2005 12:09:37 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

But why - oh why - is there ALWAYS that one guy who show up to a munch or a party in DIRTY clothes? Ugh.

Some of them like it that way (much to the olfactory dismay of most others ;-)

D (owner of j).

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 39

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