Queening/smothering

Queening/smothering (Full Version)

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redassdavid -> Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 3:30:27 PM)
As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled. I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session.

LadyPact -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 4:09:29 PM)
I couldn't tell you, so I'll tell you a (true) story instead. This happened a few months ago, but since you're new, you probably haven't heard it. My sub and I were joking around with each other while running some errands. Out of the blue, he started his next comment to Me with "Dude" For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude". The boy has never called Me "Dude" again.

DianeB -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 4:13:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: redassdavid As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled. I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session. Only with very specical subs and they must be wearing a chin harness while I'm smothering them... Diane

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 5:31:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: redassdavid Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session. You're still at their mercy regardless of whether or not you're getting what you want -- which, to me, this entire post sounds like you're complaining that you don't get to eat enough pussy/suck enough cock.

RumpusParable -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 5:35:25 PM)
Personally, I'd say a sub is one heck of a lot more at my mercy when bound immobile by rope, unable to touch me, with my hands over their mouth and nose. In a queening position, they can have too much effect and interaction with me... even if arms and legs are bound, the mouth and tongue can still move -even if it's just barely- too close to sensitive parts of mine.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 6:54:52 PM)
I love smothering.....I have these fab velvet stretch pants that I like to wear while I do it......... because hey! that kind of breath play is in the fun/reward category, and not a given with every scene. If I feel like it, it happens. Otherwise, nope!

petdave -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 8:21:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude". The boy has never called Me "Dude" again. Really? [sm=confused.gif] Something seriously wrong with that boy! [sm=pullit.gif]

aidan -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/16/2008 8:29:01 PM)
Because every time a woman queens you, God tears the wings from another innocent angel. Didn't you know that? Seriously, though. It just sounds like your expressing the needs of a bottom, and a lot of tops are not going to give that kind of intimacy to somebody without building one hell of a rapport.

LadyPact -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 2:22:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petdave quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact For the fun of it, I asked him what he had called Me, and he said he had called Me "Dude". So, I proceeded to ask him if he were familiar with the term "queening". It turned out that he wasn't, so I explained it to him. Then, I told him that, if he called Me "Dude" again, that would be My exact method for showing him that I, most certainly, wasn't a "Dude". The boy has never called Me "Dude" again. Really? [sm=confused.gif] Something seriously wrong with that boy! [sm=pullit.gif] [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

MissMagnolia -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 3:03:35 AM)
Aiden and Pyrr have hit the nail on the head for me. Slaves don't get what they want, they get what their D gives them.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 3:15:44 AM)
Well, it's going to depend on how you're going about the whole thing. We feel used and angry when it's obvious that the sub is all about their fetish and that anyone could do it to them and they'd be happy. This is what your post has said to me. If all you need to be fulfilled is the fetish, find an good pro in your area. They do a really good job at fantasy fulfillment and meeting a need for a fetish. Master Fire

Mustardseed -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 5:41:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: redassdavid As a slave (uncollared right now but looking for local contact) I have found that without introducing significant time into having my face sat on, I don't feel fullfilled. I'm new to both topping and being a dominant, while my boy has had decades of experience as a submissive. I'm being taught to top, and also introduced to what's possible in general. To a certain extent we explore his kinks in part to reassure me of what's okay ("Wow, that didn't tear off or anything!") and in part to figure out what I enjoy doing but may not have thought of yet. Queening is one of his kinks, but frankly the positioning is tricky for us if I want to get any real pleasure out of it. If I don't feel like it, or if it's not working for me we don't do it. shrug quote: I am bisexual and feel the same way regardless of the gender of my Top. Why is it so hard to find a top that understands the deep needs of a sub to feel totally at his or her mercy as a grand finale and during the core of a session. The fact that my boy loves to be queened is clear, but it's even clearer that even while learning I should be hot for what's going on and enjoying myself. He's hot for having done a good job and pleasing me. Like others here, I suspect that part of the problem is that you're looking for a service top who will conform to your particular kinks, rather than looking more objectively at the play you're doing with them and realizing that you probably are indeed at that particular top's mercy no matter what they do or don't do with your face. Hunting around specifically for either a service or professional top may be your best bet. Good luck in your search!

LadyLynx -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 7:26:10 AM)
i prefer smothering with my boobies personally. as for queening, ehhh no. having them sit/lay under me, close enough to smell me, but not do anything else? heh. ohh yeah! redassdavid, I hear what your saying, but complaining about it, won't get you anywhere. I know it's hard finding people, but you need to have patience, also widening your net may help. (like if you aren't involved in your local community, that would be a good place to start.)

Madame4a -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 7:33:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia Aiden and Pyrr have hit the nail on the head for me. Slaves don't get what they want, they get what their D gives them. what all of them said.. and personally.. the activity on its face (hah!) doesn't appeal to me.. by the way.. posts that contain or start off with "why is it hard to find .... " tend to come off as whining and complaining.. if you search that phrase, you'll likely find a ton of wisdom in this forum on WHY... and in the end whatever you are looking for is hard to find, now isn't it?

liks2plzlf -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 9:14:20 AM)
O K. What is a chin harness? What is its purpose?

Boondoggle -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 9:21:38 AM)
http://www.extremerestraints.com/the-accommodator-face-strap-on-dildo_627.html As for its use, well, it doesn't take much imagination.

DarkLovelyDomme -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 10:19:49 AM)
Maybe sitting on your face isn't what makes them feel that you're totally at their mercy. It's not a comfortable position for the person sitting (noses hurt!) Facesitting is easily in the top three session requests I get on the professional side of things: it has little to do with my enjoyment, and everything to do with the client wanting to put his face in my crotch. Demanding it-- not being willing to play unless half of the session involves the top perched upon your face-- isn't being a good bottom, in my opinion.

subexploring -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 11:38:46 AM)
Just speaking as someone who vanilla dates a lot, I generally find women prefer being on their backs for oral sex rather than being on top. Which is a shame, as not only does the sub part of me like having the woman on top, but I can go much longer, for hours really, when I'm lying in my back. When the woman is on her back and I go down on her, my neck starts getting pretty tired and sore after a half hour or so. Being on my knees in front of her while she lies back in a chair can help some, but it's still not as comfortable.

StrictnSaucy -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 4:12:03 PM)
I love it. It allows me complete control. I control breathing, rhythm, pace. I start when I want and finish when I want. I get to choose whether its tongue or if he holds a vib in his mouth ... so he can smell but not taste.

Queencie -> RE: Queening/smothering (5/17/2008 4:41:58 PM)
I never thought facesitting was about the submissive being comfortable… [8\|] Well, I don't think I'd change my view now… [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: subexploring Just speaking as someone who vanilla dates a lot, I generally find women prefer being on their backs for oral sex rather than being on top. Which is a shame, as not only does the sub part of me like having the woman on top, but I can go much longer, for hours really, when I'm lying in my back. When the woman is on her back and I go down on her, my neck starts getting pretty tired and sore after a half hour or so. Being on my knees in front of her while she lies back in a chair can help some, but it's still not as comfortable. Anyway, I agree with StrictnSaucy. Max control by me, not to mention - a great pleasure [:D]

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