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RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 12:53:56 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		That plan could lead to problems e.g. he gets a bit paranoid, thinks the government is out to get him and stabs you in the head with a pick axe because he sees you as a government agent.

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RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 1:59:11 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1
there are those that just mail without reading a profile, in those cases it won't matter what you say...my delete button is going to start getting a lot more use.


Yeah there are plenty of guys who won't read anything, but there are plenty that do.  By not saying much in the profile, guys who would read it and have something interesting to say don't really have much to go on. 

I've seen a similar vicious cycle with a few of my friends.  They get a lot of troll email, and only a few civilized emails.  So they preface their profile with how much they hate people who don't read the profile.  The result?  Those few nice emails drop to zero because the profile is so negative. 

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 2:15:33 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain
Let me get this right, of all the emails you do to submissives, you skip those who only talk about BDSM and you feel that more and more profiles of subs only talk about BDSM? Are we talking 50 out of a 100? 500 out of a 1000? Doesn't that still leave you lots of people to email who don't talk about BDSM?

I don't keep track, but I'd estimate 1 out of 6 or seven profiles mention anything other than the lifestyle.  Several months ago, it seemed closer to half. 

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 5:43:45 PM   
everhope


Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald

I have a rule of not emailing anyone who has a profile that only talks about bdsm.  Is it just me or are profiles that mention anything else getting fewer and farther between? 

It's amazing seeing so many journal entries venting about emails from guys who only want sex/instant-domination.  More often than not they are from profiles with no substance other than "seeking a dom," "I like spankings," "submission is a gift," and "I'm dominant in my real life." 

Is it any wonder they get only form letters, cock-shots, and "kneel bitch"?  Wouldn't the more interesting guys email someone else? 



i don't have any self-imposed e-mail writing rules in place as far as the balance between BDSM and vanilla content in profiles. however, if it has any mention of all the fake, wannabe subs on Collarme, don't expect an e-mail from me. like i want to be called the next fake submissive in this guys life simply becasue i am not a compatible match. the whining that goes on in profiles is just silly. like we all have not been disappointed on some level or another on these types of sites...why whine nobody really wants to hear it.
my profile has no great detail..i did fill out my likes and dislikes pretty throughly. i write an occasional journal entry which adds more insight into who i am. good profile writing is a definite skill...one that i dont possess.  

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 8:02:08 PM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

oh its totally possible .... the trick is being an evil manipulative bitch ...

use better Brain Kung Fu than them .. perfect "the look" ... make sure only you know where things go around the house ... hide things from them systematically so that the are *totally* dependent on you to keep their life running smoothly

the ensuing mental distress caused to the poor guy means that all his instincts scream at him to keep you happy ... in order for his life not to fall down around his ears ... if you never let on what you are doing ... he will assume all of this is pure coincidence

did I mention that I was evil recently?



Damn softness, you've completely shattered my notion that subs are these good, sweet little creatures and the Doms are the evil ones.  Now don't tell me there's no Santa Claus either; I'd never forgive you for that.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 8:13:58 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald

I have a rule of not emailing anyone who has a profile that only talks about bdsm.  Is it just me or are profiles that mention anything else getting fewer and farther between? 

It's amazing seeing so many journal entries venting about emails from guys who only want sex/instant-domination.  More often than not they are from profiles with no substance other than "seeking a dom," "I like spankings," "submission is a gift," and "I'm dominant in my real life." 

Is it any wonder they get only form letters, cock-shots, and "kneel bitch"?  Wouldn't the more interesting guys email someone else? 


In defense of my profile I get really very interesting persons emailing me: a few points.....
My profile is so interesting that some people think I invented myself
and
I used to wear a hat in my pics buy guys often asked me what I looked like without it;
and
I only wore the hat to hide my halo;
and
thank god the mails aren't just from guys.
Some guys make me feel defensive.


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 5/17/2008 8:20:42 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 9:21:55 PM   
noonnap


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/25/2008
Status: offline 		um im sorry if im derailing a thread....but can you point me in the direction of the cock shot senders? i mean porns expensive guys!

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 10:17:28 PM   
Bloodrose88


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		I actually am tempted not to write about BDSM at all in my profile, although after revising, I now do, since this is a BDSM website.  However, my kink and lifestyle choice is only a small part of who I am, and the Mistress that I end up being with will cherish me for all the things I am, not because of my fetishes and kinks.
I do have several of those annoying sort of journals, but more because I am amused by them, more than angry.
My profile is, I think, fleshed out well enough that people can get a decent feel about who I am and what I am about.


(in reply to Arrrchibald)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/17/2008 10:57:03 PM   
SwPuno


Posts: 72
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline 		While I understand the point about there being some logic about writing about BDSM stuff in a profile on a BDSM site I would recommend also including some non-BDSM stuff as well.  I found a profile for a big BDSM event that included some TV shows that she liked that I also liked and I thought that would give us stuff to talk about outside of the dungeon.  That led to more stuff to talk about and a relationship I've been in for a couple of years now.  The kink stuff was good and helpful too, though, as it showed me there were a few areas we were both interested in so I thought we might be compatible there as well.  So, yes, let them know some of your kink interests and/or limits but also let them know that you have some life beyond that (and I sometimes wonder if some people do).





(in reply to Bloodrose88)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 7:24:37 AM   
Bethnai


Posts: 492
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline 		When I first joined CM, I didn't have much on my profile. One of the very first emails I received was from a guy who stated that I should post deal breakers right away. 

Ok. I met and continued to see a Dom through this site until the fact that I had not changed my profile was an issue. I deleted the damn thing.  I joined again but I had nothing on my profile.  That relationship ended. I had to redo my profile. I looked at many profiles before doing this. A lot of them did nothing more than bitch. Then I figured out he had gone in and redid my profile, which does explain several odd emails. It was kind of him, nonetheless.

All this time the threads are going on about: WTF is wrong with profiles that say "be real"? WTF is wrong with subs that do not want to initially talk about BDSM because this is a BDSM site? WTF is wrong with no photo/porn shots? WTF is wrong with subs who stipulate who have such a long list of hard limits they are unapproachable?  WTF is wrong with people who have no limits at all? 

So, I listened and read other profiles and took my own course. The moment that I did that I stopped receiving 90% of the crap ass emails. I have spoken with some very cool people. What I have realized is that it doesn't matter what I put up on my profile someone is going to bitch about it. 


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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 1:27:12 PM   
PainSmith


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: the Republic
Status: offline 		Ooops ... finger trouble

< Message edited by PainSmith -- 5/18/2008 1:28:21 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 1:28:48 PM   
PainSmith


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: the Republic
Status: offline 		I find a pure BDSM profile works better than a mixed one.

Other matters will come up in conversation, but at least the basic matching of the kinks gets established early, so we both know we're not wasting each other's time.

General conversation? That's what pubs are for. Specialist conversation? Well, BDSM, here, hence my profile. Other sites for other subjects. I'd just as much expect a careful conversation about surrealist fishfingers here as I would about BDSM on a surrealist fishfinger site. It might come up in general conversation, but it's not something to bore 99% of people with in a profile. And, no, surrealist fishfingers is not a genuine example!

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 2:30:45 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arrrchibald
I have a rule of not emailing anyone who has a profile that only talks about bdsm. 

I was staying off of this thread, because I agree with the general sentiment.  But I have to say, Arch, your rule is stoopid.  Say you're in real life.  You see a woman.  Does the fact that she's wearing a short skirt or a tight sweater automatically make her shallow?

Just send an opener saying, "I liked what I read in your profile, but it's important to me to make a friend, and to connect in more than just some sexual way.  What kind of <insert vanilla interest here> do you like?"  Most people don't have the faintest idea what they are doing when they write profiles.  No reason to hold that against them.


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 3:31:53 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I've recieved a few beaver shots, and shots for trust, and Just Love the ones of striped down subbies looking for friends only.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm always up for new friends but lets start off with our clothes on , and How about Smiles??????

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 3:39:56 PM   
sasseeNshy


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		Flame me.........I can't help myself..........guys are visual...Dom or not.........simply, plainly...visual......thank god, cause the spelling seems a tad outta wack here

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 3:41:56 PM   
sasseeNshy


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline 		no offence Hunter........a quick response....slaps her flingers...slaps the clamps on..........enough said

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 4:13:41 PM   
Arrrchibald


Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Say you're in real life.  You see a woman.  Does the fact that she's wearing a short skirt or a tight sweater automatically make her shallow?


No.  But if I talk to her, and the only thing she talks about is her skirt and sweater, that would make her shallow.

Same thing with the profile.  If people talk about one thing and one thing only, then yes, they come across shallow. 

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 7:59:08 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Guess I better romove my crotch shot then......


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Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 8:01:16 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, be honest....how many of you looked!!!!  LOL. 

Seriously, in my other kink (swinging) I am very anti crotch shot - I like to know more about people before I get envolved with them.  Who cares if you have a 10 inch dick......can you use it? 



_____________________________

i have the best job in the world - my Boss whips me!!!

Go with your gut - yes, I am being a Smart Ass!

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Really? Nothing else to say? - 5/18/2008 8:22:47 PM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		Hmmmm, no crotch shots.  You will be punished for this treachery, hornytoadsmi.  Now go stand in a corner, naked, and think hard about your shameful transgression!

(in reply to HornyToadsMI)
Profile   Post #: 60
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