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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 5:35:44 AM   
FullCircle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin
At post 14 it changed direction.


Conversations tend to flow in all kinds of unexpected directions but rest assured there will be those that ignore every other post but the op and get things back on track.

< Message edited by FullCircle -- 5/18/2008 5:36:18 AM >


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 5:36:31 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator

I dont think they "fear" homosexuals as much as hate them


Hate and fear often go hand in hand.


agree...though i would say fear is the basis for most hatred


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 5:37:38 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

At post 14 it changed direction.


Thats because someone who comes around has to stir the pot because he likes to be an attention whore and energy drain.

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 5:41:57 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator

I dont think they "fear" homosexuals as much as hate them


Hate and fear often go hand in hand.


agree...though i would say fear is the basis for most hatred



Probably so, holly.

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:30:53 AM   
lronitulstahp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomAviator

I dont think they "fear" homosexuals as much as hate them


Hate and fear often go hand in hand.


agree...though i would say fear is the basis for most hatred



Probably so, holly.
           i could see having certain fears at the turn of the twentieth century...but today?  i don't buy it.  We are a much more homogenized society...when people hold on to these outdated fears, which lead to unjustified hatred and prujudice, you can be pretty certain, it's a choice.(perhaps slightly unconconsciously....but not much) i know because my father will justify his hatred of whites based on what he saw and learned as a native kid growing up...it's his choice NOT to let go of that hatred.  It's his choice NOT to believe my sister loves women becuase she's a lesbian(instead of the 10 year "phase" he thinks she's going through). 
        People stubbornly hold on to these opinions because they sooo need to be right.  They don't want to admit that perhaps they or their parents, or church, branch of military, whatever...might have been wrong somewhere along the line.  These thoughts become like poisonous chains wrapped around the minds of ignorant people.  But still, it's a consensual sort of bondage....

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:34:33 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp


       People stubbornly hold on to these opinions because they sooo need to be right. 


you have good points...but the need to be right can be broken down to the fear of being wrong.


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:39:52 AM   
lronitulstahp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp


     People stubbornly hold on to these opinions because they sooo need to be right. 


you have good points...but the need to be right can be broken down to the fear of being wrong.

precisely, which is why i said this
quote:

  They don't want to admit that perhaps they or their parents, or church, branch of military, whatever...might have been wrong somewhere along the line
holding on to that fear imo is still a choice...i think we as humans have the power to eliminate bad habits by being aware and consciously TRYING to make better choices until it becomes habit.  Often, we sell ourselves too short.  Having the gift of analytical thought and reason, and not using them because we act purely on emotion seems like an utter waste!

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 5/18/2008 6:40:36 AM >

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:46:07 AM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp


    People stubbornly hold on to these opinions because they sooo need to be right. 


you have good points...but the need to be right can be broken down to the fear of being wrong.

precisely, which is why i said this
quote:

  They don't want to admit that perhaps they or their parents, or church, branch of military, whatever...might have been wrong somewhere along the line
holding on to that fear imo is still a choice...i think we as humans have the power to eliminate bad habits by being aware and consciously TRYING to make better choices until it becomes habit.  Often, we sell ourselves too short.  Having the gift of analytical thought and reason, and not using them because we act purely on emotion seems like an utter waste!

great post Tulip!!

some have a difficult time admitting they are wrong, and it makes life more difficult, not just for the ones the negitive feelings are directed to, but to themselves as well. It takes alot of energy to harbor hatred.


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 10:18:23 AM   
DomAviator


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My post wasnt menat to change direction, or to be an attention whore or to "insist Im right". For the record I disagree with homophobia - but I do not think it is an animal unto itself - I think it is more a sexism issue. Sexists dont "fear" women (or men - as women can be sexist too) and I think it fosters ignorance of the real issue at root to say "people dont like gays because they have an unreasonable fear of them" which is what the term homophobia implies. Those sick bastards who crucified that kid in wyoming were not afraid of him in the least - they were acting with an animalistic hate. A herd of Klansmen who lynch a black man arent afraid of him because quite frankly - they dont need be as in that barbaric situation they have an overwhelming force and the end of the rope that doesnt have the noose tied in it - they arent "Afrophobic" they are racist. Hence I think applying the term "homoPHOBIA" is a disservice in that it waters down and skirts the real issue of what is at play. Sompe people hate what is different, what stands out from the norm, and if a group refuses to call attention to itself its not painting a target on itself.  I think a same sex couple living a normal life, living in a house together, holding hands at the movies, etc does a lot more to saying "we are the same as you" than an angry herd of radicals marching down the street in a parade demanding acceptence. To take the racism example - many people hold a black neighborhood to be "the ghetto". Missouri City, Texas is a  community where black are the majority of the population yet it is anything but a ghetto. The houses and schools are gorgeous, and "black activists" like QuanellX, Al Sharpton, or Jerimiah Wright would be about as welcome as the KKK Grand Wizard. Those people aren't trying to be accepted, theya re living their life and a damn nice one at that. There is no issue of racism there because there is acceptence, and acceptence based on not bothering anyone and just being yourself without demanding anyone accept you or stirring the pot. The blacks of Missouri City are no different from the whites of the Woodlands and when you look at it logically and in terms of what they actually do - gays are no different than straights. They arent doing some weird freaky shit that society needs to accept they are doing the same thing everyone else (ie the "straight people") does....

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 10:26:42 AM   
kittinSol


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Ignorance breeds fear, which in turns breeds prejudice and hate.

People are neurotically scared of the difference in others and that is where group hatred comes from. That's also why it's possible to beat those fears and their unfortunate offsprings with education

quote:



Public leaders from President George W. Bush on down have called for tolerance. But the Center for American-Islamic Relations in Washington, D.C., tallied some 1,700 incidents of abuse against Muslims in the five months following September 11. Despite our better nature, it seems, fear of foreigners or other strange-seeming people comes out when we are under stress. That fear, known as xenophobia, seems almost hardwired into the human psyche.

Researchers are discovering the extent to which xenophobia can be easily—even arbitrarily—turned on. In just hours, we can be conditioned to fear or discriminate against those who differ from ourselves by characteristics as superficial as eye color. Even ideas we believe are just common sense can have deep xenophobic underpinnings. Research conducted at Harvard reveals that even among people who claim to have no bias, the more strongly one supports the ethnic profiling of Arabs at airport-security checkpoints, the more hidden prejudice one has against Muslims.

But other research shows that when it comes to whom we fear and how we react, we do have a choice. We can, it seems, choose not to give in to our xenophobic tendencies.



http://psychologytoday.com/articles/PTO-20030501-000001.html

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 10:54:33 AM   
pahunkboy


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a happy big crowd can go to lunitic real fast.

we all have our fears.  the thing is what do we do with them?  there is a way to not fan the flames....some dont realize when they stoke the flames...tho some do.

rev wright is a fraud. the agry talk doesnt offend me, but he lives in tinley park , in a coumpound type mansion.  i understand the serman thing.   that is the nature of religion- 

i am rather annoyed that the flaming gay guy guest of next door anounced to the neighborhood that he and i know john doe who is family.  i dont appreciate that. i seek to be a cohesive neighbor and what is in my bedroom is my business.   so the point is- gay guys tire of the gay element that over do the fam act - when it is intrusive, and i prefer to not run into it.    if i make a big deal of it it draws attention, which i dont want. 

happily no one can identify my penis.  no one that blabs that is....

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 1:03:41 PM   
Aneirin


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I do agree that homosexuals that feel the need to flaunt their sexuality in other's faces is in fact damaging to them, as not everyone wants that and consideration has to be made for the other inhabitants of this planet too. Gender is gender, race is race, they are the external facets of a person we see in day to day life. Religion and sexuality are private things, things to be pursued in the correct enviroment, the high street is not the correct enviroment. Perhaps homophobia, race hate, religous intolerance, sexual descrimination would be less so if consideration was made for others.

I have gay friends, and it came with some interest, that they too feel apalled at the actions of other gay people, they feel much as I do, that a person's sexuality is a private affair and also feel the actions of a few, could be damaging to the many.

Often it is, that it is a minority that mess things up for the majority.


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:41:06 PM   
lronitulstahp


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quote:

 Often it is, that it is a minority that mess things up for the majority. 
You said a mouthful, right there!  it goes for race, religion, and socio-economic groups, that are judged based on the shenanigans of a few dumbasses that happen to belong to said "group"....Damn shame!

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 5/18/2008 6:54:42 PM >

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:43:15 PM   
Alumbrado


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I do agree that homosexuals that feel the need to flaunt their sexuality in other's faces is in fact damaging to them, as not everyone wants that and consideration has to be made for the other inhabitants of this planet too. Gender is gender, race is race, they are the external facets of a person we see in day to day life. Religion and sexuality are private things, things to be pursued in the correct enviroment, the high street is not the correct enviroment. Perhaps homophobia, race hate, religous intolerance, sexual descrimination would be less so if consideration was made for others.

I have gay friends, and it came with some interest, that they too feel apalled at the actions of other gay people, they feel much as I do, that a person's sexuality is a private affair and also feel the actions of a few, could be damaging to the many.

Often it is, that it is a minority that mess things up for the majority.



In other words, appeasement of the homophobes?

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/18/2008 6:51:44 PM   
LotusSong


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I just read on another site that Racism, Sexism and Homophobia are human emotions, By this I personally understand someone is trying to justify their dislikes by labelling them emotions, much like anger, love, fear etc.

Are they emotions or are they what they are, dislikes ?



I don't think it's a dislike of the physical person.. I believe it's a dislike of culture associated with the person.

To clarify... it's how a person  chooses to live and thinks that is objection not their biology/preferences/race/gender.

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/19/2008 8:05:01 AM   
pahunkboy


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no not appeasement.   but time and place for campy theatrics.   if that is appeasement- then so be it.      I dont say to harm those folks.  Just that I think some awareness of circumstance, and yes- the screaming theatrics can invite harm.  so manbe it is appeasement.

even still no one likes a person of any walk to be in your face all the time.   now and then fine, but once it is over done then it can lead to hostility. 

this is different from the folks who never ever want to see anything other then their own sameness in others.

life is brutal in many areas. i for one dont want to question on me, did that happen due to my actions/non-actions or is it anti gay.
I have very little time for games.

it is about putting food on the table. 

on the flip side- if you look in a gay bar- or gay mecca- thats what you see. 

surppringly I have very few gay freinds.   1 maybe.  The rest are straight or bi.  

so yes- sexualness is like religion as people get heated over it.


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RE: Emotions ? - 5/19/2008 8:17:01 AM   
DomAviator


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I dont consider it appeasement either. Im straight but have gay, lesbian, and bi friends. (In fact I LOVE lesbians! I wish I had a huge circle of lesbian friends because they are cool as hell! You get the whole easy to relate to, easy to talk to, female friend thing without the sexual politics that inveitablty arise with straight female friends. You KNOW the lesbian isnt going to be an issue with that cause Im plumbed wrong for her tastes.) So no, Im not anti gay and Im certainly not homophobic as im not "afraid of them".

HOWEVER, there is nothing to be "proud of" being gay anymore than there is to be "proud of" being straight. We dont have Straight men marching in the pussy eating pride parade, and we dont have the "League of Irish Lasses Who Suck The Shellaliegh" fighting to get into the St Patricks Day parade. So you suck dick or eat pussy or participate in anal sex- congrats so does everyone else. Make love to whoever you want, however you want, and just because we dont want to honor you with a parade doesnt mean we are afraid of you....

I agree wholeheartedly with pa, its not the place of a noisy few in the gay community to publically speak for the masses and to create animosity with the intolerants. I think it would be horrible to be "outed" by someone who is supposed to be an allie. Gay advocates are to normal gay people what Jerimiah Wright is to the Obama Campaign. I LOVE getting a blowjob, but I dont announce by whom or insist that they hold a parade to celebrate their cocksucking skills cause that would enrange some folks - even though Im straight!

< Message edited by DomAviator -- 5/19/2008 8:19:43 AM >

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/19/2008 11:09:26 AM   
FullCircle


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So you are basically saying intolerant people are justified in their views which means you sympothise with them, yet you have many gay and lesbian friends just like everyone has a minority friend they are just about to shit all over.

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/19/2008 12:08:23 PM   
DomAviator


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

So you are basically saying intolerant people are justified in their views which means you sympothise with them, yet you have many gay and lesbian friends just like everyone has a minority friend they are just about to shit all over.


Yes and no. Intolerant people have just as much right to thier views as tolerant ones, as long as they do not act upon another. Ie - being nauseated by gay sex, interacial dating, certain religions etc is perfectly ok by me, as long as you dont harass, harm, or otherwise infringe upon those minding their own business and doing their own thing. Those people have as much right to their opinion as those who support those same things. The key is peaceful coexistence, and non-harassment. Here in Texas we have a lot of Klan, and while I dont support their views - I support their right to exist and to have those views. UNTIL, they step over the line and violate somebody's rights or terrorize some family - ie stay within the law. As long as you obey the law, go ahead and put on your sheets - maybe even the scooby doo ones LOL, have your picnics out in the woods in Vidor, burn your crosses and roast marshmellows for all I care. Because if we start becoming the thought police where does it end?

Likewise on the gay issue. I could care less what people do in their bedroom. It doesnt matter, IM NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY so to speak LOL Its a fire out of my district. Therefore, I do not HAVE to like it. My lesbian friends dont need a signed consent form from Kev before they can go down on each other - they are grown women and can do what they want, when they want, with who they want. Therefore, its not my place to approve or disapprove or to accept or not accept. Those idiots in Wyoming didnt have to LIKE gay sex, but where they went wrong was killing that gay kid because thats out of line.

Lets face it, a lot of people think we in the BDSM world are some seriously sick fucked up motherfuckers. But I dont care because I dont NEED their approval. Therefore, I am not going to demand a "pride day" and force my kink intot heir face. Hell, I dont even have a pic in my profile because my sex life is nobodys god damn business, and Ill engage in whatever kink I want as long as its safe sane and consensual - without parades, fanfare, or forced acceptence. I dont demand recognition of my sexuality. I date a lot of (legal) women young enough to be my daughter... Do people necessarily approve of that? Fuck no! But I dont care I dont need their blessing, so why should gay people care either? Want to hold hands with your same sex partner? Do it. Want to kiss your same sex partner? Do it. Bet you get less creepy looks than I got when I was with BrittneyLee! LOL

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RE: Emotions ? - 5/19/2008 12:20:10 PM   
fetishdesire


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i am just coming in on the end of this but woke up full of emotions and wondering where they came from--i blame the influence of bdsm--i let my submission carry me into every attitude of submission to the man in my life, even tho he does not dominate me.  For him, i have overcome feelings of revulsion and disgust to please him.  Moved into his house that stinks of dog and cigarettes and bad plumbing, lie next to his sweaty stinky body, sit in his smelly furniture looking out the broken window pane with the glass duct taped in place.  My emotions will pass, his kindness may remain, the stink keeps torturing me...why else would i tolerate this unless i wanted to be treated like someone's piss slave???

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