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LadyAngelika -> RE: CollarME and its profiles (10/22/2005 3:37:40 PM)
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Alright, since I’ve derailed this thread a few times, I will post something on topic. ChastityLocked, you got some really good advice from some of the members here. Let me add my 2¢.
First of all, the whole notion of men/women ratio is moot for me. I don’t care if I have 1 million men to choose from. If the man for me isn’t in that million, then I won’t settle. I’ve been on this site for about 15 months. I’ve met 3 local boys in person and had a brief affair with one over 8 months ago, the other remained friends with for a while and the third is one of my closest friends now and oddly enough lives a few blocks away from me. I’ve met a few others from a.com & b.com as well. I have also made a lot of friends on this site, and some who I’ve even met in person when travelling. But not until recently did I really, *really* hit it off with someone from this site. It took almost a year, almost 3000 posts and probably a good 500 emails before the boy I adore came along. And trust me, it wasn’t because of lack of offers. I get offers daily.
Second of all, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you will accept just being friends. However, be aware that it is a line that is used often as a way to get a foot in the door. I have a yahoo messenger long list of blocks from local guys who said “Hey, I’d be happy just being friends with you” and then a week later saying “Would you be my Mistress?” even when I’ve told them that I wasn’t looking. I suspect many Dommes (and submissive women as well) have had this similar experience and though it sucks that a whole whack of bad apples spoiled it for you, you are just going to have to factor that in as one of the unfortunate obstacles.
Thirdly, there is the question of perception. When you write such things as “if i found a really good misstress, i wouldnt mind being the submissive/slave type” you have to realise that it doesn’t come off as a very strong statement. Saying that you wouldn’t mind will be perceived by many as you settling. No woman wants to feel like a guy has settled for her. I’m not saying that is what you would be doing. I’m simply telling you that your words could very well be perceived as such.
Finally, you are young. And I’m not saying this to be ageist or condescending. I know it’s hard to be taken seriously when you are young but there are many advantages too. You can explore, discover what you like, etc. Don’t be in such a rush to find *her* right away and just participate here and make friends. If it’s any encouragement, my boy initially got my attention by his writings here on the boards.
- LA
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