Is this a normal reaction?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Is this a normal reaction?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Is this a normal reaction?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:03:29 AM

luvzdogtoyz

Posts: 51
Joined: 11/12/2007
From: Texas
Status: offline

About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense?

My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight.

Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day.

I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

Post #: 1

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:07:13 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

Fuck, even I'M confused by that.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 2

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:08:29 AM

jeffman1234

Posts: 61
Joined: 6/11/2004
Status: offline

Sounds Kind of one sided. It is what 'he' wants. If you tell him it wont work for you and that you will have to move on if he cannot consider your needs, if he does love you he will compromize.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 3

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:23:36 AM

lilmissdefiant

Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

sounds like he's using a cheap excuse of saying he loves you but he wants another slave

_____________________________

Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

(in reply to jeffman1234)

Post #: 4

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:35:52 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz

About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense?

My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight.

Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day.

I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

Some people have trouble "hurting" the ones they love. Maybe he needs some emotional detachment in order to dominate another person.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 5

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 3:43:29 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Reading between the lines......

He wants a slave.

He has a slave.

That slave isn't you.

He doesn't have the bollocks to tell you he wants two women in his life - one for slave duties, one for other matters.

Assuming you didn't agree to this upfront, do yourself a favour and find a man who is good for his word.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 6

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 5:41:38 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz

Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day.

I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

Me being me, I'd simply tell him that since he can only be "vanilla" with you and has a new slave for his bdsm desires and needs that you will be finding a Master for your bdsm needs and desires. Maybe I'm extra snarky this morning, but I honestly would say that to a guy that pulled that shit on me especially if poly wasn't mentioned and agreed on upfront. Then I'd go do it, but then I'm a bitch.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 7

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 6:22:38 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

reminds me of a couple that i know, except in reversed positions...

for them, it's a form of manipulation of their partner, without them having to give up the benefits they reap on the side.

quote:

ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz

About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense?

My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight.

Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day.

I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 8

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 6:25:04 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

LDT, I read your profile and your blog stated that in January, you got a collar from a Master you ahd not seen in eighteen months. While I realize that online is a viable option, you must understand that the depth of a collaring commitment means that it almost always is preceded by an intense period in RL.

Then you post as above.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but it sounds like your Master is basically a randy goat. I think he does not have anywhere near the depth of feeling for you that you think e does. And I wonder if he came up with this hokey arrangement so he could keep two girls on a string at once.

(Yes, I KNOW that he could have two slaves at once but he may not know he can. Or maybe he doesn't think he could handle two slaves at the same time.)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 9

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 6:45:11 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Tell him he has introduced you to a unilateral deal breaker-and he can keep the deal, or find himself minus a girlfriend.

Being a Dom doesn't mean you get to do anything that you feel like.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 10

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 7:05:36 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

Since you are no longer his slave you are free to pursue what makes you happy. You don't have to be his vanilla girlfriend unless he takes you to great restaurants and concerts and stuff and you like being his girlfriend. You have all the freedom in the world to do exactly as you wish.

i'm sorry this happened to you. According to your journal entries, the other slave was in his company while you were apart for 18 months and he "brought her with him...." This tells me he'd found your replacement long before the L-word was used. Or did i read everything wrong and the 'new girl' from this past january isn't the new slave of today? Seems this guy isn't ready for the kind of committment that (in my opinion only) a M/s relationship is founded upon.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 11

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 7:05:49 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

There are several possible reasons why he might feel the way he does, but in the end it does not matter because you aren't getting your needs met

If you need a Master and he can not provide that for you then you will have to find a relationship that fits those needs.

edit: spelling

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/18/2008 7:06:33 AM >

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 12

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 7:14:10 AM

Evility

Posts: 915
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

Sounds to me like the "thrill of the chase" syndrome. He chased you, he has you and now he's bored with that and needs another chase to sate him.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 13

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 8:27:57 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Lets reduce this down to what's simple.
You were happy with what you had.
For what ever reason He changed the dynamics.
Your needs are no longer being met.
.............. It's time to move on.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Evility)

Post #: 14

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 8:37:44 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like he has issues. Bit of misogyny perhaps. One wonders what would happen if he also falls in love with this next slave...

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 15

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 8:58:39 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

It's time to move on, either do it now or you will be unhappy and it will happen later.

Mike

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 16

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 9:10:23 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Having his cake, and eating it. It isn't uncommon for men to use BDSM as an easy way to "get a woman" without having to court. It isn't unusual either for someone to be in "the lifestyle" (whatever that is) for the hunt, not for the dinner. All things considered - if this isn't the guy for you (and he apparently didn't take the trouble of getting your approval for any of this), take a walk. Plenty of piranhas in the sea..

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 17

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 1:42:55 PM

luvzdogtoyz

Posts: 51
Joined: 11/12/2007
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

According to your journal entries, the other slave was in his company while you were apart for 18 months and he "brought her with him...." This tells me he'd found your replacement long before the L-word was used. Or did i read everything wrong and the 'new girl' from this past january isn't the new slave of today? Seems this guy isn't ready for the kind of committment that (in my opinion only) a M/s relationship is founded upon.

Your not wrong about it being the same girl. She's just still "new" to me, is why I termed it so. I have talked to her on the phone a few times, with Master, three-way. She's nice enough. But akward for me, seeing I was given no warning in the matter to begin with.

Guess this should have been my first red flag.

((TO ALL))

Thank you for the comments. It has helped me clear my head. You all are great!

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 18

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 6:36:58 PM

KatsKandee

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

Although this may seem to be the unpopular opinion around here, I's say that before you walk away you should proceed with caution and weigh your options carefully. Impulsive decisions are often regretted. You seem like a sensible person, and I'm not saying not to leave, but examine the situation thoroughly before you act. Communicate with him and give him a chance to share his side. My Master taught me that patience is the key to successful submission. Be patient, when he's ready to talk to you he will, and the relationship may be salvageable depending on what's truly behind all of this.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 19

RE: Is this a normal reaction? - 5/18/2008 7:51:26 PM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

As he "cares" for you as a potential wife he does not see that he should degrade you with the title of "slave".

My wife was my slave first and will forever remain so past death.

_____________________________

See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to luvzdogtoyz)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Is this a normal reaction?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.141