Is this a normal reaction?

Is this a normal reaction? (Full Version)

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luvzdogtoyz -> Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:03:29 AM)
About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense? My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight. Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day. I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:07:13 AM)
Fuck, even I'M confused by that.[&:]

jeffman1234 -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:08:29 AM)
Sounds Kind of one sided. It is what 'he' wants. If you tell him it wont work for you and that you will have to move on if he cannot consider your needs, if he does love you he will compromize.

lilmissdefiant -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:23:36 AM)
sounds like he's using a cheap excuse of saying he loves you but he wants another slave

Level -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:35:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense? My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight. Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day. I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand. Some people have trouble "hurting" the ones they love. Maybe he needs some emotional detachment in order to dominate another person.

NorthernGent -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 3:43:29 AM)
Reading between the lines...... He wants a slave. He has a slave. That slave isn't you. He doesn't have the bollocks to tell you he wants two women in his life - one for slave duties, one for other matters. Assuming you didn't agree to this upfront, do yourself a favour and find a man who is good for his word.

SassySarijane -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 5:41:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day. I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand. Me being me, I'd simply tell him that since he can only be "vanilla" with you and has a new slave for his bdsm desires and needs that you will be finding a Master for your bdsm needs and desires. Maybe I'm extra snarky this morning, but I honestly would say that to a guy that pulled that shit on me especially if poly wasn't mentioned and agreed on upfront. Then I'd go do it, but then I'm a bitch.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 6:22:38 AM)
reminds me of a couple that i know, except in reversed positions... for them, it's a form of manipulation of their partner, without them having to give up the benefits they reap on the side. quote: ORIGINAL: luvzdogtoyz About a month ago, Master announced he was in love with me. This would have continued to be terrific, if it had not implemented an odd problem. He suddenly announced later, that since I was now his lover, I could no longer be slave material. Whoa….wait….what?! To say this weird new was a shock to my system, is putting it lightly. How does this even begin to work? How does this make sense? My mind is still screaming, “No, no, this is not what I signed up for!” Why is there a problem with loving me, and being his slave? This IS my lifestyle, this IS what I live for. Until that announcement, I did. Now everything is upside down and….vanilla. With me. This stinks beyond words. And is damn confusing. I need insight. Compensation has suddenly shown up as well. Master has a new slave. This made my eyes cross. So I’m tossed vanilla….cause he loves me…then gets another girl he doesn’t love…for the slave role. I felt a little part of myself die that day. I’ve tried to talk this over….tried…being the key word. It ended not so nice. With in conclusion for him that, “He was incapable of doing so.” How? I don’t understand.

DarkSteven -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 6:25:04 AM)
LDT, I read your profile and your blog stated that in January, you got a collar from a Master you ahd not seen in eighteen months. While I realize that online is a viable option, you must understand that the depth of a collaring commitment means that it almost always is preceded by an intense period in RL. Then you post as above. I'm sorry to tell you this, but it sounds like your Master is basically a randy goat. I think he does not have anywhere near the depth of feeling for you that you think e does. And I wonder if he came up with this hokey arrangement so he could keep two girls on a string at once. (Yes, I KNOW that he could have two slaves at once but he may not know he can. Or maybe he doesn't think he could handle two slaves at the same time.)

Leatherist -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 6:45:11 AM)
Tell him he has introduced you to a unilateral deal breaker-and he can keep the deal, or find himself minus a girlfriend. Being a Dom doesn't mean you get to do anything that you feel like.

eyesopened -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 7:05:36 AM)
Since you are no longer his slave you are free to pursue what makes you happy. You don't have to be his vanilla girlfriend unless he takes you to great restaurants and concerts and stuff and you like being his girlfriend. You have all the freedom in the world to do exactly as you wish. i'm sorry this happened to you. According to your journal entries, the other slave was in his company while you were apart for 18 months and he "brought her with him...." This tells me he'd found your replacement long before the L-word was used. Or did i read everything wrong and the 'new girl' from this past january isn't the new slave of today? Seems this guy isn't ready for the kind of committment that (in my opinion only) a M/s relationship is founded upon.

angelikaJ -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 7:05:49 AM)
There are several possible reasons why he might feel the way he does, but in the end it does not matter because you aren't getting your needs met If you need a Master and he can not provide that for you then you will have to find a relationship that fits those needs. edit: spelling

Evility -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 7:14:10 AM)
Sounds to me like the "thrill of the chase" syndrome. He chased you, he has you and now he's bored with that and needs another chase to sate him.

Quivver -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 8:27:57 AM)
Lets reduce this down to what's simple. You were happy with what you had. For what ever reason He changed the dynamics. Your needs are no longer being met. .............. It's time to move on.

Padriag -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 8:37:44 AM)
Sounds like he has issues. Bit of misogyny perhaps. One wonders what would happen if he also falls in love with this next slave...

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 8:58:39 AM)
It's time to move on, either do it now or you will be unhappy and it will happen later. Mike

antipode -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 9:10:23 AM)
Having his cake, and eating it. It isn't uncommon for men to use BDSM as an easy way to "get a woman" without having to court. It isn't unusual either for someone to be in "the lifestyle" (whatever that is) for the hunt, not for the dinner. All things considered - if this isn't the guy for you (and he apparently didn't take the trouble of getting your approval for any of this), take a walk. Plenty of piranhas in the sea..

luvzdogtoyz -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 1:42:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened According to your journal entries, the other slave was in his company while you were apart for 18 months and he "brought her with him...." This tells me he'd found your replacement long before the L-word was used. Or did i read everything wrong and the 'new girl' from this past january isn't the new slave of today? Seems this guy isn't ready for the kind of committment that (in my opinion only) a M/s relationship is founded upon. Your not wrong about it being the same girl. She's just still "new" to me, is why I termed it so. I have talked to her on the phone a few times, with Master, three-way. She's nice enough. But akward for me, seeing I was given no warning in the matter to begin with. Guess this should have been my first red flag. ((TO ALL)) Thank you for the comments. It has helped me clear my head. You all are great!

KatsKandee -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 6:36:58 PM)
Although this may seem to be the unpopular opinion around here, I's say that before you walk away you should proceed with caution and weigh your options carefully. Impulsive decisions are often regretted. You seem like a sensible person, and I'm not saying not to leave, but examine the situation thoroughly before you act. Communicate with him and give him a chance to share his side. My Master taught me that patience is the key to successful submission. Be patient, when he's ready to talk to you he will, and the relationship may be salvageable depending on what's truly behind all of this.

kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Is this a normal reaction? (5/18/2008 7:51:26 PM)
As he "cares" for you as a potential wife he does not see that he should degrade you with the title of "slave". My wife was my slave first and will forever remain so past death.

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