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Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:27:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Here's the scenario for the Master types:

It is in your best interest that you keep your slave. It is in your slaves best interest that you release them. What, if any, sort of situation would need to be taking place in order for you to override what is best for you and do what is best for your slave? Do you feel that by doing what's best for you, as a Master, that that is what's best for your slave as well? Something else?

For the Slave types:

If your Master would not release you even if it was in your best interest that he do so, would you walk anyway or do you feel that as the slave, your duty is to fill your Master's interests before your own, so you would stay? Something else?

Oh, and before I forget.. this is NOT about Himself and me! I asked him the question first though and he responded - "I know what's in your best interest and that's being with me so I wouldn't release you. If you thought it would be in your best interest for me to release you, you'd just be wrong." (Paraphrased because I can't remember his exact wording but that's the gist.) So, yanno, I don't need any sympathy or advice. It's just a straight up question sparked by a one thing leading to another sort of conversation that I had with Himself.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:38:27 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Here's the scenario for the Master types:

It is in your best interest that you keep your slave. It is in your slaves best interest that you release them. What, if any, sort of situation would need to be taking place in order for you to override what is best for you and do what is best for your slave? Do you feel that by doing what's best for you, as a Master, that that is what's best for your slave as well? Something else?

For the Slave types:

If your Master would not release you even if it was in your best interest that he do so, would you walk anyway or do you feel that as the slave, your duty is to fill your Master's interests before your own, so you would stay? Something else?

Oh, and before I forget.. this is NOT about Himself and me! I asked him the question first though and he responded - "I know what's in your best interest and that's being with me so I wouldn't release you. If you thought it would be in your best interest for me to release you, you'd just be wrong." (Paraphrased because I can't remember his exact wording but that's the gist.) So, yanno, I don't need any sympathy or advice. It's just a straight up question sparked by a one thing leading to another sort of conversation that I had with Himself.

Celeste



The best interest of both must be taken into consideration,when the time comes that I find its not worth the effort to continue along with diminishing returns then one of the two must happen.I would release her for her own good and as a matter a fact this has happen this year when two long time collared slaves were sent on to their own good..A slave should be expect to be ask to be released not to slip away in the dead of night like a thief,If one had a good reason,thought out for release then I would  grant the release..bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:46:31 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		It's difficult for me to answer something like this objectively, bita - I'm absolutely not a slave, though I've been one in the past a couple of times.  Hell, I don't even identify as a submissive these days, nor take part in ds/ms relationships any longer.
 
From a subjective standpoint, and the perspective that if I was asking to be specifically released I would already be of the opinion that he/she didn't give a flyin flip about what was best for Me, but only cared about their own Convenience - I'd tell them to go screw themselves, preferably in painful and completely unnatural manners that aren't particularly possible without the limberness of a professional gymnist or circus performer.... and then I'd walk.  I don't stay in any sort of relationship where I feel that my best interests are being ignored, regardless of the person's reasons for ignoring them.  Been there, done that, one time to many - it was a quick road to abusive behavior.  Ya gotta keep in mind though, that I freely admit I'm baised and have absolutely no use for TPE, or even PE, as a relationship style in my life.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:48:04 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm thinking that if the slave feels her best interests are served being released, sooner or later the Master will agree with her.  I can't imagine one actually maintaining a decent attitude when she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:49:07 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		A few one liners in response to your post.
  • There are always exceptions to every rule.
  • The world is not a perfect place.
  • Every Ideal has some flaw in it. (catch 22)
  • Reality has a way of messing with us at times.
  • Just because we believe something does mean it's true.


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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:55:18 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BOUNTYHUNTER


The best interest of both must be taken into consideration,when the time comes that I find its not worth the effort to continue along with diminishing returns then one of the two must happen.I would release her for her own good and as a matter a fact this has happen this year when two long time collared slaves were sent on to their own good..A slave should be expect to be ask to be released not to slip away in the dead of night like a thief,If one had a good reason,thought out for release then I would  grant the release..bounty


Ah, diminishing returns. That's a very good point. I wonder if, in that case, it really is in the Master's best interest to release someone in that scenario.

Food for thought. Thank you, BH.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 12:58:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach

It's difficult for me to answer something like this objectively, bita - I'm absolutely not a slave, though I've been one in the past a couple of times.  Hell, I don't even identify as a submissive these days, nor take part in ds/ms relationships any longer.
 
From a subjective standpoint, and the perspective that if I was asking to be specifically released I would already be of the opinion that he/she didn't give a flyin flip about what was best for Me, but only cared about their own Convenience - I'd tell them to go screw themselves, preferably in painful and completely unnatural manners that aren't particularly possible without the limberness of a professional gymnist or circus performer.... and then I'd walk.  I don't stay in any sort of relationship where I feel that my best interests are being ignored, regardless of the person's reasons for ignoring them.  Been there, done that, one time to many - it was a quick road to abusive behavior.  Ya gotta keep in mind though, that I freely admit I'm baised and have absolutely no use for TPE, or even PE, as a relationship style in my life.


Hi HGP .. and welcome back! Long time no see.

Well, that was blunt and straight to the point! Can't ask for much more than that. ::grins:: I do have a question - it may be that your best interest has been taking into consideration and set aside in favor of the best interest of the Master .. so, not ignored, just not put as the priority. In that case, do you feel the same?

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:03:10 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I'm thinking that if the slave feels her best interests are served being released, sooner or later the Master will agree with her.  I can't imagine one actually maintaining a decent attitude when she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in.


It could also be that the Master is the one who decides, initially, that it is in the best interest of the slave to be released and the slave doesn't want to go. The slave may very well want to stay in the relationship. The first thing that popped into my mind was a Master that wants a slave to have the opportunity to taste more out of life and can't do that in their collar even if the slave is happy and content and doesn't want to taste the other flavors which are out there. That would be a case where it's in the Masters best interest for the slave to stay, but may be in the slave's best interest to be released.

Just thinking off the cuff here .. so to speak.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:05:36 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		If I owned somebody and they were fucking miserable as all hell, and sincerely wanted out.  I'd let 'em go.  I mean what else would I do?  I'm not crazy about illegal confinement and slavery of another human being.  No thank you. Pass on that one, for moral and legal reasons.  I'm more interested in owning somebody who has a true desire to serve and be mine, makes it all the more special.

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:06:43 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owner4SexSlave

A few one liners in response to your post.
  • There are always exceptions to every rule.
  • The world is not a perfect place.
  • Every Ideal has some flaw in it. (catch 22)
  • Reality has a way of messing with us at times.
  • Just because we believe something does mean it's true.





Well, can't really argue with any of those one-liners and certainly anyone of them could be cause to fall on either side of the actual OP.

Thanks for the thoughts.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:21:22 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It depends on what is meant by my best interests.
Am I (or my children, or someone I love) being abused? (either physically or emotionally)
Then I think common sense and self-preservation has to prevail, and yes, I would leave.
If you mean I would be able to have a better job or go to a better school (or something similar) I would go to my Master and talk to Him about it. We'd come up with the answer together.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:24:29 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

I'm thinking that if the slave feels her best interests are served being released, sooner or later the Master will agree with her.  I can't imagine one actually maintaining a decent attitude when she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in.


It could also be that the Master is the one who decides, initially, that it is in the best interest of the slave to be released and the slave doesn't want to go. The slave may very well want to stay in the relationship. The first thing that popped into my mind was a Master that wants a slave to have the opportunity to taste more out of life and can't do that in their collar even if the slave is happy and content and doesn't want to taste the other flavors which are out there. That would be a case where it's in the Masters best interest for the slave to stay, but may be in the slave's best interest to be released.

Just thinking off the cuff here .. so to speak.

Celeste


The "If you love someone, set them free" thought.  I think that when one takes that chance they have to understand that the new experiences that they are opening up for someone my include making that person less likely to want to come back.  I can't say that I've been in that situeation as part of a M/s relationship, but I have been at the end of a relationship that I didn't want to end, but as soon as I acclimated myself to the idea I moved on and was more or less happy for my freedom.  For the one who did it as a "temporary break up" thing, he learned that once a door is closed, I generally don't look for it to open back up

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:35:41 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Hi HGP .. and welcome back! Long time no see.

Yes it has been.  Gotta love extended "vacations" from things so to speak!

quote:


Well, that was blunt and straight to the point! Can't ask for much more than that. ::grins:: I do have a question - it may be that your best interest has been taking into consideration and set aside in favor of the best interest of the Master .. so, not ignored, just not put as the priority. In that case, do you feel the same?


When  have I not at least Tried to be to the point? LOL (Don't answer that, wenchlette!)
 
I guess I simply don't much tolerate my best interests being placed on the back burner or not taking priority any longer.  Spent to many years of my life doing that, and... oh yeah, that's one of those Primary reasons that I quit doing ds/ms!
 
quote:
The first thing that popped into my mind was a Master that wants a slave to have the opportunity to taste more out of life and can't do that in their collar even if the slave is happy and content and doesn't want to taste the other flavors which are out there. That would be a case where it's in the Masters best interest for the slave to stay, but may be in the slave's best interest to be released.


Pretty fantasy scenario there, but hardly realistic when you take Human Nature into consideration.  In all the years that I've been involved in BDSM - in SM play, in ds/ms relationships prior to walking away from those completely forever, in all of it - I have never Yet met anyone who identifies as "dominant" or a "master/mistress" whom I think Honestly thinks in such a way.  This may be doing a disservice to many - and I by no means know everyone out there, or perhaps even sufficient numbers to say that it's somehow a "majority" thing.  I do, however, know human nature quite well and know what I've seen via personal experience with those whom I Have dealt with on a personal level.  (Yeah, I know, before any of ya come out and say it, I'll say it myself - my relationship track record sucks, and it's as much my own fault for choosing poorly in the past as it is the fault of anyone I've been in a relationship with, if not more so.)  If the owner thinks it would be best for the owned to "see more of the world than they can in {my} collar" - what else are they also thinking?  Perhaps "this is a great way to get rid of someone I'm tired of and still Look Good/compassionate/benevolent" ?
 
(Can you tell that my trust of humanity hasn't particularly grown during the months that I've been on sabatical? LOL)

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:41:08 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

It is in your best interest that you keep your slave. It is in your slaves best interest that you release them. 


I reject the notion itself.  I don't say that to imply I am some uber dom or am "the most sensitive and caring" dominant out there either.  It just wouldn't be in my interest to keep someone who didn't want to be with me.  I might be greedy and not want to let them go but I would do it because what I want is bigger than my cock's needs.

If it was in my slaves best interest to be released, why would I require them to stay?  If I wanted someone chained to me, I would get a dog.  I am not a dog person, I prefer cats who if they don't like you will wander off, grace you with their affection only when it suits them, and if you piss them off will slash your face with razor sharp claws.  Take good care of them however, and they will sit on your lap and purr.

I want someone at my side who cannot imagine any other place they would want to be and strive to create that, as imperfect as my attempt may be. 

Now, if I felt her reasoning was wrong, I would attempt to discuss it with her, I might even use a bit of force in a "yank her chain" sort of way but ultimately, I would let her go.  I might hide in the wings to ensure she is safe from whatever mistake she is making but some lessons need to be learned the hard way.

So, I just can't see both happening at the same time.

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 1:46:13 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

It depends on what is meant by my best interests.
Am I (or my children, or someone I love) being abused? (either physically or emotionally)
Then I think common sense and self-preservation has to prevail, and yes, I would leave.


I'd prefer to say that it's not abuse or anything detrimental to the health or well-being of either party. Then it becomes a bit of a no-brainer. Staying in an abusive situation isn't, usually, going to be in anyone's best interest even if they believe it is.

quote:


If you mean I would be able to have a better job or go to a better school (or something similar) I would go to my Master and talk to Him about it. We'd come up with the answer together.


That's more in line with my own way of thinking as well. Ultimately, I suppose that I'm more of the thought that if what's going on in a relationship isn't serving that relationship so that both parties are in it because it is in their best interest, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship. I understand where Himself is coming from though .. he can't conceive of a situation where something would be in his best interest and not be in my best interest as well.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 2:18:18 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		oooh good one

ok so .. generally speaking it serves the Master no good at all to keep a slave who has no wish to stay. She is hardly likely to be pleasing or give Him good service if what she really wants is to be elsewhere for whatever reason. In this I agree with Michael, surely a desire to leave that strongly felt would be granted if only out of a desire not to hold a slave by force.

On the conflict of opinion ... I am working on letting go of my right to be right, the right to my own opinion. In this situation then I would have to agree with my Owner and accept that he knew best and give up my own opinion on the matter. I have made sure that the only people who have power over me are people who make good and responsible choices on my behalf .. ie me and Him .. eventually just Him. This means that I can rely on Him to be correct in saying His decisions made about me are in my best interest as well as his own. So in this .. I would trust to my Owner.

But I am not perfect, and she who is without sin can go ahead and cast the first bloody stone, I know there are things that I am totally unwilling to sacrifice my opinion on, and am prepared to leave even the most loving anf fulfilling of relationships to preserve. My need to submit is strong, my desire to serve is strong, my strength of character is sufficient to live a life full of challenge and difficulty in order to get what I want and give Him what he needs .. but there are a couple of things which are stronger than that. I have always fiercely held on to the fact that anyone at all who got inbetween me and those things .. would get left for dust, no second thoughts at all



< Message edited by softness -- 5/19/2008 2:19:27 PM >

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 2:54:40 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		If i am in a tpe relationship, and i want out, then the tpe is invalid. If i am to the point of leaving without permission then the whole relationship is wrecked - wheither the dom wants to admit it or not.  the way i see it is that if i want to leave then i am no longer giving my power to my dom, and am doing a sham of an idea of service.

Leaving without permission would be the logical thing at that point. I h0pe that i would be adult enough to have discussed this with him at least once before leaving. Personally , i can't see even being at this point without major problems in the relationship, problems too big to be resolved, since i have already proven to stay in relationships years after the death of said relationship. Can you say co-dependent????
And since i am a grown up (more or less), i think i can safely say that i know what is best for me.   I realise that isn't a very subby sentiment, but i am also an adult. Sorry.

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 3:04:05 PM   
DS4DUMMIES


Posts: 180
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		"What, if any, sort of situation would need to be taking place in order for you to override what is best for you and do what is best for your slave?
 
This is easy. Once her consent is withdrawn, trying to do with her, what I'd done when it was consensual, may be construed by the local folks with the badges and guns and pretty lights on the car, as a felony. In my admittedly limited, yet painfully practical view of the world - I have no desire to be nonconsensually subbing to a lot of smelly, sexually deprived, and rather stupid men in prison. Therefore, I subscribe to the theory that once a woman wants out......nothing I want from her could possibly be important enough to me to cause me to go to prison to not get it.

DS4



_____________________________

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” Patrick Overton

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 3:07:55 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Given no further details... He would release and I would walk.

Valyraen is not interested in having someone serve him just for the sake of him being served. I am not interested in serving just for the sake of serving. If it were in my best interest to leave, there I assume there is no longer love there - or at least not enough to bind me and neither of us are willing to settle for less than that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Proprietary Interest - 5/19/2008 3:12:39 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		There was a time, almost 2 years ago (after knowing him for about a year) before I moved here, that I thought it was best we discontinue our relationship. The reasons don't matter right now. I wrote him an e-mail to that effect.

I am so thankful that he knew better, and didn't let me go. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. Like everyone always says, communication, communication, etc.

_____________________________

MasterK's whiteslavebitch

formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

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