LadyPact
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Ok. In another thread, there was this:
quote:
ORIGINAL: MladyHathor
Lady Pact, You are an inspiration as how it can work--could you start a thread perhaps in how it came about, the negotiations? Without intimacies but just how did/does it work? I think it has to go beyond just communication, there has to be some serious trust/faith---?
I don't know how "inspirational" it is, but here's how this all happened.
I've posted before on how I met My sub. He happened to come into a chat room where I and some others were talking about going to a club the following night. He asked if he might come along, too. I said, sure, public club and all. I did tell him that I wouldn't play with him. So, he drove two and a half hours, just to meet someone (Me) who lived ten minutes apart. (My sub is stationed here for military training for a year, which is almost up.)
On the site we were chatting on, I looked at his profile and saw that he was married. I've always had a firm rule of not playing with anyone who is married where I don't have the spouse's consent. I told him this right up front. If he wanted to play at any point, I would have to speak with his wife. Normally, I would do this in person, but since we were in GA, and she in NV, I settled for a phone call. She had no objections to letting another woman beat her husband (he's a maso) so shortly there after, he became a casual play parter.
As months went on, the dynamic evolved. With each step, out of respect, there were more calls. She's been asked to give her consent to all kinds of things. Sexual service, branding, strap-on play, just to name a few. She isn't a lifestyle person, so when collaring came up, it had to be explained to her. She's been content to say yes to all of these things. She doesn't care much for the speaker phone, but this was the best way for Me to hear her responses to questions at first. Due to the distance, I've only really gotten to spend time with her and the um's during My sub's Christmas break. (For Christmas Eve dinner, we had nine of us.) Occasionally, she'll talk to Me on the phone. From the very beginning, she was given My contact information, so she could use it if she would like.
How did the trust/faith come in? Well, that was a process. When playing first began, there were a lot of calls, asking if she was opposed to this or that. She was consulted on different types of play. All kinds of things come up. Everything from did she mind if he scened naked to did it matter to her if I shoved a tail up his ass. (Literally, that was a question at one time.) Finally, the poor woman said, "Do whatever you want to him, just one exception." That 'one exception' is her rule, and was basically seen as My sub's hard limit.
Now that the year is just about up, all four of us (Myself, My husband, My sub and his wife) have all grown closer together. Yes, we'll all be apart for a while, but there has been some talk of all of us being closer together (geographically) when the two males both finish their tours of duty. The spouses, both his and Mine, know that there is love in this D/s dynamic, and we have come to consider ourselves a poly household.
My thanks to those who have taken the time to read this long winded story.
So, any questions?
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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