RE: Knowing what you are

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steffie -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/21/2008 6:19:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNstepsout Yes, but I think that NOT knowing what you are will make it even harder. Totally agree. In ancient Greece, across the temple at Delphi where they conducted the oracle to the god Apollo was inscribed the words "Know Thyself." Among the ancient philosophers, this was the path to enlightment.

MladyHathor -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/21/2008 10:17:08 AM)
Sometimes I think I think too damn much and that's where these " why is there air questions" come from--and its stupid I'm sure----many of you have read the challenges we faced these last 2.5 years----this year each day, I find Myself, more Myself since we lost Mom---a better self, but more the energy, the passion, the Me I have grown to be and that ( arrogantly, narcisstically) I REALLY love--I'm excelling at work, home is great, I lovelove the garden and the horses and so much closer to My teen---so life is busy---99% of the time, I toodle along then every once in awhile, the wind blows and I wonder if who I am will see Me with the last element I want in My life---a deep loving D/s relationship---I come and go, think yes, think no--but it is a pull that seems to get more so at times---and I wonder as I wander out under the stars...[8\|]

DominantJenny -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/21/2008 10:21:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MladyHathor *may mean never finding what You desire.* *Thoughts?* Finally have my response... NOT knowing what you are not only may mean never finding what you desire, but also may mean doing a lot of damage to yourself and to others as you flail about trying. I prefer knowing what I am. :)

Steponme73 -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/21/2008 3:02:31 PM)
Life is a journey. Along the way we discover things about ourselves. As quasi intelligent beings, we are constantly evolving. I don't think you ever really know who you are. You know who you are at a given point in time and you have desires at that given point in time...but things change. So as we grow older, we become (or we are suppose to become) wiser. With this wisdom we evaluate where we have been, who we have been and where we are going and what we desire. I don't think we ever stop asking that question or searching for those answers.

steffie -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/21/2008 11:30:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MladyHathor Sometimes I think I think too damn much and that's where these " why is there air questions" come from--and its stupid I'm sure----many of you have read the challenges we faced these last 2.5 years----this year each day, I find Myself, more Myself since we lost Mom---a better self, but more the energy, the passion, the Me I have grown to be and that ( arrogantly, narcisstically) I REALLY love--I'm excelling at work, home is great, I lovelove the garden and the horses and so much closer to My teen---so life is busy---99% of the time, I toodle along then every once in awhile, the wind blows and I wonder if who I am will see Me with the last element I want in My life---a deep loving D/s relationship---I come and go, think yes, think no--but it is a pull that seems to get more so at times---and I wonder as I wander out under the stars...[8\|] M'Lady, not stupid at all. Better to have some of the questions, than think you have all of the answers. Questions inspire answers. You express yourself well, deeply. Nice to see someone couple "deep loving" with the words "D/s relationship." I tend to think people imagine D/s is all about pain - when like any good relationship, hopefully, it is all about love. Your relationship will come in time, and when it does, i doubt it will be the "last element" you want in your life. Once you find him, you'll want plenty more - and have someone to give it all to You.

thetammyjo -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 5:44:37 AM)
I doubt that any semi-functional human being is only one thing, one role, one personality type, etc. I think what aids in relationship disappointment is when we get too focused on a small group of things and refuse to consider a wider picture. As much as I may praise my slave on here he is no where near perfect; neither am I. I wasn't looking when I got him, I was simply open to possibilities. If one is not in a relationship I think one needs to be more open. That does not mean giving up on desires or a short list of "musts" but be realistic about what is possible. If you are poly and already in one or more relationships then you can start to get really picky. Yes, I can put up a very specific list of what I'd consider in my profile because frankly I don't need or actively desire another person at this time. I'd be a fool, since I'm poly, though to close myself off from everything. The result is I can be super picky right now. So for folks who are still looking and feeling frustrated I say look at yourself and your expectations first. If you can, expand them and be more realistic. If you won't or can't do that, then maybe you need to accept that your search is likely to be very long and very frustrating. You may find that just accepting that lessens your frustrations.

KatyLied -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 6:59:50 AM)
quote: may mean never finding what You desire. Thoughts? Yes, and I completely accept this. I'd rather be true to who I am than to compromise just to find a relationship. I see people who do that and usually become unhappy after a while. I don't want that to be my life. My life is full and happy and for the most part I'm spoiled and lucky. If I find someone who can enhance all of that, great. If not, that's okay too.

Dnomyar -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 10:22:43 AM)
Steffie. Mmmmm I always thought the path to enlightment was thru me. Looks like all the women in here were misleading me. Adding to what Katy said. I want a relationship where we enhance each other.

pixelslave -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 10:26:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I doubt that any semi-functional human being is only one thing, one role, one personality type, etc. I think what aids in relationship disappointment is when we get too focused on a small group of things and refuse to consider a wider picture. As much as I may praise my slave on here he is no where near perfect; neither am I. I wasn't looking when I got him, I was simply open to possibilities. If one is not in a relationship I think one needs to be more open. That does not mean giving up on desires or a short list of "musts" but be realistic about what is possible. If you are poly and already in one or more relationships then you can start to get really picky. Yes, I can put up a very specific list of what I'd consider in my profile because frankly I don't need or actively desire another person at this time. I'd be a fool, since I'm poly, though to close myself off from everything. The result is I can be super picky right now. So for folks who are still looking and feeling frustrated I say look at yourself and your expectations first. If you can, expand them and be more realistic. If you won't or can't do that, then maybe you need to accept that your search is likely to be very long and very frustrating. You may find that just accepting that lessens your frustrations. I think you're right on target TammyJo. Being open to the possibilities by not limiting yourself to a narrowly defined list along with being realistic about yourself and about others is what will open the doors to creating beautiful relationships that might have otherwise passed you by. It is indeed the big picture that counts. There are things that I enjoy which I'd gladly give up or do without for a relationship with a woman who overall met my needs. [8D] It would be silly of me to not consider a relationship with someone because one of our kinks didn't match, she was XX pounds overweight, she didn't have the right color eyes, was younger than XX, didn't have a college degree, didn't like to do all the same vanilla things I do, etc. Knowing what's really important to me in the other person is what counts. Someone who's intelligent that I can have a great conversation with, may not have a college degree, so why should that matter to me? I'd never make the cover of GQ (well maybe 20 years ago [;)]), so why would I expect her to look like she stepped off the cover of Vogue? I try to look inside a person and from talking with them I find I can always find the beauty within them. I find it always shows through to where what's on the outside doesn't matter and all I ever see is what's on the inside. I could go on, but I think I've conveyed the idea. [8\|] - pixel Updated Journal this week. Wyatt missing 4-1/2 weeks now. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image]

LadyPact -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 11:09:07 AM)
My Dear Hathor, You are not silly, or foolish, or any other thing that you might come up with for yourself for having these thoughts. It's within all of us to want what you hope to find. You don't sound unhealthy or unfulfilled, even though you are looking to find the right match for you. It sounds like you're coming from the place that wants to share that with someone else. Honey, that's human. I'm in a position just now that I have to think a lot about these things. I just happen to be doing it in reverse. I understand what it feels like when these thoughts come creeping in, and there isn't someone beside you. (I know. Confusing as hell. If needed, I'll explain on the other side.) Feeling alone, and wondering if it will always be that way, isn't unusual. It happens to a lot of us. This probably doesn't help, but I don't see you not ever getting what you want. I can't believe that there won't be that match out there for you.

pixelslave -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 1:26:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact This probably doesn't help, but I don't see you not ever getting what you want. I can't believe that there won't be that match out there for you. Suddenly the line from the song popped into my mind, which I think is also the title, "You don't always get what you want, You get what you need!" [:D] - pixel

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 1:30:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pixelslave quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact This probably doesn't help, but I don't see you not ever getting what you want. I can't believe that there won't be that match out there for you. Suddenly the line from the song popped into my mind, which I think is also the title, "You don't always get what you want, You get what you need!" [:D] - pixel So I NEED to be alone! What a relief![:D]

steffie -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/22/2008 9:29:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Steffie. Mmmmm I always thought the path to enlightment was thru me. Looks like all the women in here were misleading me. Someone is stringing you along Dnomyar. Are you sure you're not on the wrong end of the leash? ;-)

AtlantaMistress -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 4:45:01 AM)
It seems that some of the others posting get this - happiness comes from INSIDE. You can't worry about what anyone else thinks or for anyone else to make you happy. Knowing what you are is a critical step in knowing what you want - but if you expect to find it in someone else, you will be disappointed. If you can find peace and contentment from within, then it is actually amazing the doors it can open - and you may be pleasantly suprised to find others can contribute to that happiness.

LotusSong -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 5:09:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MladyHathor *may mean never finding what You desire.* *Thoughts?* ... whenever is see the "I don't want to define myself".. I envision a book title of the 70's : "Why am I Afraid to Tell You Who I am"? I truly pity those people who wander into the lifestyle hoping to find themselves..

lateralist1 -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 1:11:31 PM)
Getting what you want sometimes becomes a burden. I'd rather have a little bit of what I need. In the words of the immortal bard. 'Love is all you need'

Shawn1066 -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 1:47:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar Romantic love. Im swooning and starting to feel faint. An intresting point was brought up. I would rather embrace who I am and be alone than settle for less than I desire. Thats BS. Thats saying that you will not compromise. Knowing who you are is all and well but no man/woman is an island. I've always refused to settle for less than what I desire when it comes to looking for somebody I love. Which was the context I meant it in. If I settle for somebody, then I'm not doing them, nor myself, any favors. I think it's a potentially harmful situation. You shouldn't settle when you don't -have- to. You'll always be desiring something else or someone else. I think you should look for somebody who fulfills you, and that you shouldn't look for somebody for the simple sake of having somebody. I'm not saying that you should have tons of pages of perfect criteria that a person HAS to fit into before you consider them... But, for example, I would have never been in a vanilla relationship...even if that meant being alone...because I knew it's something that wouldn't fulfill me. That's not being picky--that's being realistic. If you're not true to yourself then, more likely than not, you won't be true to anybody else. Compromising and settling are two entirely different things. Just my 0.02 DV's Fox

MistressRouge -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 1:55:09 PM)
I have what I desire :) I do what I desire, and that is desirable in itself [:D]

BigBaby -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/23/2008 11:54:22 PM)
Is a pretty vague statement which could be interpreted in many differrent ways I am guessing that you desires have not yet been fulfilled, I know that feeling Mlady, I do believe that we all have some control over our destiny and that our actions can lead us to what we desire as easy as not acting can lead us nowhere? I am speculating as to what you r driving towards here and well anyways if I had to venture a guess it is about a non-fulfilled fantasy or dream you may have? Can you give me more to go on than the few words of your original post and maybe I can give you additional input if you would like, I remember your response to my post and appreciated it! Have a nice day! baby jerry

BigBaby -> RE: Knowing what you are (5/24/2008 11:13:46 AM)
Missed the "knowing what you are" part lol it was late at night when I read your post.

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