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never hearing back - 5/20/2008 3:47:15 PM   
slavelooking2006


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		I would like to know  why is it when a sub meets a Dom and they  play or talk and He says He will talk to You  that evening or the next day and one hears nothing.
Has this happened to others and how do you feel?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: never hearing back - 5/20/2008 3:52:27 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		About the same as it does when you go out with someone and they say, "I'll call you" and they don't.  It's not special to BDSM.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to slavelooking2006)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: never hearing back - 5/20/2008 3:56:48 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		You were looking for a relationship and he was looking for a one-night stand.  It's not exclusive to BDSM.  One way to deal with this is have some vanilla meetings.  The quicky people won't stand for that since they usually lack patience

Given the lack of information in your profile, I have to wonder just how seriously you are taking finding a compatable match

< Message edited by JohnWarren -- 5/20/2008 3:58:31 PM >

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to slavelooking2006)
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RE: never hearing back - 5/20/2008 5:37:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Same as when you go home with a guy you met in a bar. They say "I'll call" as a way to slide out without you making a scene.

If you don't like one night stands, then don't have them any more. Make friends first. Take as long as you need to feel comfortable. If they rush you, then you know they don't care about your comfort level. If they care about you as more than a quick beat and fuck, they'll slow down to your speed.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: never hearing back - 5/20/2008 5:58:51 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Has this happened to others and how do you feel?


It's never happened to me.  But if it did, I'd call it a one night stand.


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to slavelooking2006)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: never hearing back - 5/20/2008 6:07:35 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		I try not to let that frenzy get to me especially when it comes to playing.  I have to agree with the others.  I would rather know a dom as a person first before playing with them just to find out exactly what they are looking for a in a relationship as there are many different dynamics.

Usually, some doms who will initially contact me on this site will never get a chance to meet me because they are more interested in just casual play, which I am learning to be more selective.  If a dom comes off being desperate to play with me and without a face to face meeting, I will politely turned them down.  I am not looking for that casual fling anymore.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 3:58:50 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		It is hard haveing a face to face meeting with Katy. Cali always keeps her back to you.  OP get used to it and try not to take it personaly.

(in reply to corsetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 5:32:35 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		What you're not saying is that the reason Cali's back is to you is because she's on her knees giving ya a BJ...

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 5:53:17 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Judging by her avatar, Cali's got a great back(side).

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 6:34:16 AM   
SleepyDom


Posts: 118
Status: offline 		Cali's obviously begging for a spanking with her cute little butt sticking out like that.  Either that or constantly mooning people.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 11:14:17 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm always begging for a spanking.  *SIGH*  So few can really deliver though.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SleepyDom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 11:17:10 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		One nighters arent all that unusual. I dont do them, I dont move that fast...
But its the oldest story in the book... its up there with "Call me" and getting a fake number. He got what he wanted, next time you make sure smeone is in it for longer term... unless you want to be a one night toy.



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 11:41:22 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		He probably got what he came for, next time be more discriminating and take things slow--any person worth their weight in gold would get that.

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to slavelooking2006)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: never hearing back - 5/21/2008 12:20:31 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavelooking2006

I would like to know  why is it when a sub meets a Dom and they  play or talk and He says He will talk to You  that evening or the next day and one hears nothing.
Has this happened to others and how do you feel?

    Meh...it happens.  i've had some uncomfortable first meetings with Doms that i WISH would've pulled the old disappearing act...  
   Sometimes it's not that he's a total user, it's that he realized you weren't compatible.  Maybe you should make some rules that you aren't willing to break...for instance i have a rule(after making a couple mistakes, myself) "no sex on the first meet"...no matter HOW much i like the guy.(Way to get around this one, is schedule two dates for the same day....) i find having some pre-set boundaries helps me be more aware of problematic behavior and able to deal with it.  Less chances of frenzy or hard-upness kicking in, basically.  Better luck next time.

(in reply to slavelooking2006)
Profile   Post #: 14
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