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Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 9:44:23 AM   
kneelB4U


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		I want to be collared but cannot be 24/7 at this time. What is the best way to approach a potential Mistress with this situation?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 10:26:12 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		First offer a definition for what you mean by collared in your profile so that when a potential looks at it, they can see. This is really important because for some 24/7 means in a high-protocol scene that long, for most it means a state of mind, a sense of ownership/authority/service, and for others it means living together as well.

Second when you talking be honest about what time and personal committments you can make.

And just so you know, most folks aren't 24/7 we just might seem that way online cause we all talk a lot ... or at least I do.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to kneelB4U)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 10:40:53 AM   
kneelB4U


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you very much for the description of 24/7. I will adjust my profile accordingly.
Respectfully,
rob

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 12:01:33 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I want to be collared but cannot be 24/7 at this time. What is the best way to approach a potential Mistress with this situation?



Why is a collar so important?

I ask this because I have spoken with more than my fair share of subs who think that if a collar isn't involved, it's not a committed relationship. I disagree.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 10/22/2005 12:03:13 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to kneelB4U)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 12:59:15 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

I want to be collared but cannot be 24/7 at this time. What is the best way to approach a potential Mistress with this situation?



Why is a collar so important?

I ask this because I have spoken with more than my fair share of subs who think that if a collar isn't involved, it's not a committed relationship. I disagree.


Perhaps because the Domme in question may have offered a collar at one time, and it was rejected by the sub who thought it meaningless if it were not 24/7.

Perhaps kneelb4u has rethought his position and would now like to accept that proffered collar and all it stood for then; he just doesn't know how to go about bringing up the topic with his Domme again.

Do tell.

TexasMaam



(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 6:03:34 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Perhaps because the Domme in question may have offered a collar at one time, and it was rejected by the sub who thought it meaningless if it were not 24/7.


Maybe it's just me but any sub that found my collar meaningless would be having an intimate relationship with the curb post haste.

HOPING that you meant they would hold out for 24/7 before committing to a collar.

To me it is the level of commitment they are willing to put into a relationship that is more important to me than proximity (as long as they live in the same city). I don't think that someone should have to be live in to be under collar.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 6:21:18 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kneelB4U

Thank you very much for the description of 24/7. I will adjust my profile accordingly.
Respectfully,
rob


Do you mean making the suggestion that you define it?

I didn't give one definition of it.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to kneelB4U)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 6:25:14 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

Perhaps because the Domme in question may have offered a collar at one time, and it was rejected by the sub who thought it meaningless if it were not 24/7.


Maybe it's just me but any sub that found my collar meaningless would be having an intimate relationship with the curb post haste.

HOPING that you meant they would hold out for 24/7 before committing to a collar.

To me it is the level of commitment they are willing to put into a relationship that is more important to me than proximity (as long as they live in the same city). I don't think that someone should have to be live in to be under collar.


Hunh????

I meant that perhaps the sub in question was offered a collar at one time and thought it meaningless, because it could not be 24/7.

I did not say My sub, or My collar. It was only a theory.

Texas Maam

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 6:40:30 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		[

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 10/22/2005 6:44:49 PM >

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 6:43:40 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Hunh????

I meant that perhaps the sub in question was offered a collar at one time and thought it meaningless, because it could not be 24/7.

I did not say My sub, or My collar. It was only a theory.


Gotcha, though guess I'm missing something in translation. Why is a 24/7 collar more or less desirable than than any other? To me at least there are ways to be worthy of a collar that do not involve living in my home.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 7:40:57 PM   
kneelB4U


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Marwood...i like a collar because it makes me feel close to the Dom. Also, it is a way for the Dom to show affection.
Respectfully,
rob

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 7:44:28 PM   
kneelB4U


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Rose,
i agree about not having to be a live-in to be collared. i thought i was the only one out there!
Thanks!,
rob

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 8:14:39 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kneelB4U

Mistress Rose,
i agree about not having to be a live-in to be collared. i thought i was the only one out there!
Thanks!,
rob


No, rob, you're not the only one. I recently collared my submissive of eight months. His place is twenty minutes from mine, and it works for both of us.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to kneelB4U)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/22/2005 8:55:37 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

Mistress Marwood...i like a collar because it makes me feel close to the Dom. Also, it is a way for the Dom to show affection.
Respectfully,
rob




The reason why I ask is because I feel a collar is a very serious commitment....and a sub approaching me wanting to talk about collars is like going on a first date with someone who wants to talk about wedding plans. Get what I'm saying?

One step at a time.



< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 10/22/2005 8:56:20 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to kneelB4U)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/23/2005 6:41:52 AM   
kneelB4U


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline 		Mistress Marwood,
That makes alot of sense. That's why You're the Mistress and superior to men!.
Respecfully,
rob

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/23/2005 12:10:54 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Gotcha, though guess I'm missing something in translation. Why is a 24/7 collar more or less desirable than than any other? To me at least there are ways to be worthy of a collar that do not involve living in my home.


I agree, although I have heard (and read thread) from submissives who cannot be collared 24/7 (such as married submissives) that they could not commit to a collar because they could not live the lifestyle 24/7. (No this does not refer to a collar worn during a session or a scene.) It's a fairly common misconception.

If the submissive were the 'right' sub, I'd gladly offer a collar, 24/7 or not. If he refused the collar, I'd have to show him the curb, eventually.

All of which takes this thread off topic. Woops! I'll just scroll on down and see what kneelB4U has to say to clarify things!

Texas Maam

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/23/2005 9:12:33 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I agree, although I have heard (and read thread) from submissives who cannot be collared 24/7 (such as married submissives) that they could not commit to a collar because they could not live the lifestyle 24/7. (No this does not refer to a collar worn during a session or a scene.) It's a fairly common misconception.


I guess I am just odd in cutting off the married's at the pass. I have this crazy idea that I should be first in my subs life and not dealing with sloppy seconds that come after the wife, kids, car pool & the like...just me though.

The live the lifestyle 24/7 part I think get mis-construed quite a bit also. I think that those with ones in service or collered must consider their well being and development at all times, though I don't think that most of us are "lifestyle" at all times 24/7. I know that those outside a small group of friends would not be understanding of these arrangements or inclinations and I believe that most are the same. I think that most if pressed would find it difficult to be "out" to all people under all circumstances that the glorfied 24/7 label implies. I think that the glorfied 24/7 is something to be filed alongside the pictures of the "real Dom/mes". I personally keep those pictures alongside my pictures of unicorns and fairies...anyone else??

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/24/2005 4:00:20 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

I guess I am just odd in cutting off the married's at the pass. I have this crazy idea that I should be first in my subs life and not dealing with sloppy seconds that come after the wife, kids, car pool & the like...just me though.

The live the lifestyle 24/7 part I think get mis-construed quite a bit also. I think that those with ones in service or collered must consider their well being and development at all times, though I don't think that most of us are "lifestyle" at all times 24/7. I know that those outside a small group of friends would not be understanding of these arrangements or inclinations and I believe that most are the same. I think that most if pressed would find it difficult to be "out" to all people under all circumstances that the glorfied 24/7 label implies. I think that the glorfied 24/7 is something to be filed alongside the pictures of the "real Dom/mes". I personally keep those pictures alongside my pictures of unicorns and fairies...anyone else??



I'm right there with you on the married boys....no interest in dealing with all that. I'll just point out (yet again) that Collarme really needs to put a marital status as an option on profiles to help those hoping to meet use it as a filter. I think we'd find it MUCH more useful information than say how much someone weighs.

I think there is a lot of misconception that 24/7 means living in a cage at all times or some such nonsense. Let's face it, in order to be a well rounded sane individual, we all need more than that - most of us HAVE to work, and we certainly need time for things like friends, family, hobbies, both physical and mental exercise, etc.

But that's why I get concerned about those really REALLY focused on getting a collar rather than the relationship itself. A collar is ONLY a symbol of what the relationship means and not a THING more. Getting a collar is not some mythical event that will suddenly make the world full of rainbows and entitle the wearer to weekly beatings and that the couple will be together forever and ever. In other words, don't worry so much about the symbol of the relationship - work on the relationship.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/28/2005 3:28:51 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

But that's why I get concerned about those really REALLY focused on getting a collar rather than the relationship itself. A collar is ONLY a symbol of what the relationship means and not a THING more. Getting a collar is not some mythical event that will suddenly make the world full of rainbows and entitle the wearer to weekly beatings and that the couple will be together forever and ever. In other words, don't worry so much about the symbol of the relationship - work on the relationship.


Right with you there

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Accepting a Collar - 10/29/2005 5:41:46 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

quote:

Mistress Marwood...i like a collar because it makes me feel close to the Dom. Also, it is a way for the Dom to show affection.
Respectfully,
rob




The reason why I ask is because I feel a collar is a very serious commitment....and a sub approaching me wanting to talk about collars is like going on a first date with someone who wants to talk about wedding plans. Get what I'm saying?

One step at a time.





Yes and I agree!

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 20
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