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How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 7:24:03 PM

takemepleaseme

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

Clearly I am new to this, I have been told I am submissive, but I don't feel that way. I sometimes feel mean and bossy in bed, and I love dirty talk. Can some of you who are experienced in this area give me some insight into what makes a sub and what makes a dom? Can a woman who is independent still be a submissive?

< Message edited by takemepleaseme -- 5/21/2008 7:33:22 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 7:37:12 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

you might do better posting this in Ask a slave/submissive...that said...

don't let anyone else tell you who you are... do some research.. some searchs around here... attend some events, munches and meetings in your local area.. and talk to others... see where/if you might fit in...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 7:47:10 PM

SleepyDom

Posts: 118
Status: offline

How do I know I am submissive? Hmmmm. [scratches his head for a while] Good question, I guess I don't. Oh wait, I'm not submissive at all, never mind.

Seriously, do you like to submit? Do you like to obey another person? Does it excite you to be controlled? All good indicators of submissiveness.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 7:53:56 PM

takemepleaseme

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

I guess what concerns me is the overall concept of submission. I think I can submit in the bedroom, but I don't think I could submit outside of it. So where would I fit?

(in reply to SleepyDom)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:08:40 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Maybe you are more of a bedroom submissive or a bedroom bottom as I've heard it called.

I knew I was submissive when the Magic 8 Ball said I was. But I asked it later, and it said, "no." So, I decided I was a switch. ~ tongue planted firmly in cheek ~

_____________________________

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:11:23 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a
don't let anyone else tell you who you are... do some research

The best type of "research" being meeting/dating/relationshiping with people you like and trust, and finding out who you are by interaction with others. Solitary navel-gazing can only go so far with this stuff.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:11:40 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: takemepleaseme

I guess what concerns me is the overall concept of submission. I think I can submit in the bedroom, but I don't think I could submit outside of it. So where would I fit?

Some would describe that as simply a bedroom submissive or a bottom.

I'm wondering though, if you may be confusing being submissive to being kinky. If you enjoy the hair pulling, spanking what have you....but not really any form of submission or dominance, then there is nothing at all wrong with simply saying you are kinky or a bottom. :-)

Just a thought.

< Message edited by laura2161 -- 5/21/2008 8:13:10 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:12:15 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

I realised something was up when I spontaneously orgasmed from nearly missing the deadline for turning in an essay in my final year at high school (I made it). I can still feel it pumping to this day

: it wasn't 'normal' to be turned on by fear and anxiety so much. And indeed, I wasn't normal, not normal at all.

_____________________________

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Post #: 8

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:13:20 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: takemepleaseme

I guess what concerns me is the overall concept of submission. I think I can submit in the bedroom, but I don't think I could submit outside of it. So where would I fit?

You may not be submissive at all. Who knows! To me, being submissive is an orientation and is totally seperate from BDSM play (kinky play and kinky sex).

You think can submit in the bedroom, and your OP said you sometimes feel mean and bossy in bed. If you enjoy both topping and bottoming, then you'd be a switch.

Me..... I'm a kinky, service oriented, submissive woman. All three of those things are seperate, but are all a part of me.

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:13:46 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

but you're cute, KS... normal doesn't matter when you're as hot as you *grin*

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:14:32 PM

MontrealPhoenix

Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

Easy, my former Master told me i am...

phoenix aka imp

_____________________________

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~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:14:52 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

Toppy!

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Post #: 12

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:20:53 PM

SleepyDom

Posts: 118
Status: offline

kittinsol, that's actually quite normal, we all have spontaneous orgasms when we nearly miss the deadline for turning in an essay in our final year at high school.

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:21:26 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: takemepleaseme

Clearly I am new to this, I have been told I am submissive, but I don't feel that way. I sometimes feel mean and bossy in bed, and I love dirty talk. Can some of you who are experienced in this area give me some insight into what makes a sub and what makes a dom? Can a woman who is independent still be a submissive?

It was when I errantly, in an eyeball to eyeball contest, took a parking space from a woman clad in leather.

When she violently jumped out of her car with a baseball bat and mentioned that my dangly bits would make a splendid addition to her rear view mirror, I suddenly found myself eager to assist her in any way possible...

(I knew I was sub from that moment on).

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:22:18 PM

kittinSol

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

You just ruined the past seventeen years of memories

.

(in reply to SleepyDom)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 8:32:09 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

i knew i was submissive when i first tasted chocolate an diet pepsi... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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I am flawed.

Imperfect.

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SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to kittinSol)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 10:13:03 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

i was submissive long before i knew i was submissive because i had never heard of the word "submissive" when i first started submitting to men.

When i did learn the word, i realized that there was a name for the way i respond to a man i am intimately involved with. i have always behaved the same way in every intimate relationship i have had, whether i was with a Dominant or not. i always did whatever the man wanted me to do, i never tried to assert myself or take charge of the relationship, and i am always at his beck and call, ready, willing, and eager to serve him and pamper him. It's simply how i have always treated the man i am involved with.

Being submissive doesn't mean you can't be independent. For several years, i was a single, working mom, going to school full time, while holding a job, and living on my own, completely independent from anyone else. But, i didn't stop being submissive. i have never been submissive outside of my intimate relationship but, within it, i am submissive all the time, not just in the bedroom. Any time i am involved with a man, i treat him with absolute deference to him, all the time.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/21/2008 10:20:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Why do you need a name now? Take time to name yourself.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slavegirljoy)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/22/2008 12:26:57 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: takemepleaseme

Clearly I am new to this, I have been told I am submissive, but I don't feel that way. I sometimes feel mean and bossy in bed, and I love dirty talk. Can some of you who are experienced in this area give me some insight into what makes a sub and what makes a dom? Can a woman who is independent still be a submissive?

if you don't feel that way, then you are not
no one decides who you are.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you know U R submissive? - 5/22/2008 1:07:51 AM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: takemepleaseme

Clearly I am new to this, I have been told I am submissive, but I don't feel that way. I sometimes feel mean and bossy in bed, and I love dirty talk. Can some of you who are experienced in this area give me some insight into what makes a sub and what makes a dom? Can a woman who is independent still be a submissive?

Ummmmm... perhaps you are a "switch"?

(in reply to takemepleaseme)

Post #: 20

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