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RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 2:35:30 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I totally believe friendships and love can come from chatting on line. But the whole on line serving thing is meh to me. I don't want a bunch of writing assignments, webcams are boring and I don't want to micromanage someone's life; especially when I can't really SEE the fruits of the labor.

I've tried it, didn't like it. The only amusing thing is to watch someone humilate themselves on cam (dressing like a girl or whatever) but giving text orders is boring and none of it is sexual arousing. I don't feel like going into detailed "scenes and play" and blah blah. It's just boring and not stimulating. I'm sure it can be with the right person, but I've never been into cams much anyway so I'd rather just chat on line with people like normal and meet people when possible. Real life is always better.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 2:48:30 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

And is a mental/emotional/spiritual connection with someone really a fantasy?  Does such a connection require knowing whether or not the other person snores, or farts, or leaves the cap off the toothpaste? 

Something to think about...


To me?

Yes, it is, because until I am in their physical prescense and know for certain that the connection exists, then it is a completely one sided fantasy to me.

Edited to Add : A fantasy that is based completely off an artifically created perspective of that person as well. Edited One More Time : Pictures and webcams that only show one angle, profiles written from the ego, and Internet chat messages that are carefully thought and typed and don't convey the least bit of emotion.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 5/22/2008 2:54:26 PM >

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 3:40:00 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Perfectly understandable, MR.  I was mostly musing while paying bills.  Thanks for replying  :)

You didn't mention connections made vocally, but I would imagine it's the same. 

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Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 4:08:51 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
*snip*
Edited to Add : A fantasy that is based completely off an artifically created perspective of that person as well. Edited One More Time : Pictures and webcams that only show one angle, profiles written from the ego, and Internet chat messages that are carefully thought and typed and don't convey the least bit of emotion.


That doesn't have to be the case, if both people choose to be themselves. And people can present false images in person, too, by carefully choosing their words, etc.
If one chooses to be deceptive, one can be. If one doesn't, one doesn't have to be.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 4:22:36 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Online only interactions have the tendency to frustrate, me and make me lose interest if that is all they ever have the possibility of.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 4:25:11 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
*snip*
Edited to Add : A fantasy that is based completely off an artifically created perspective of that person as well. Edited One More Time : Pictures and webcams that only show one angle, profiles written from the ego, and Internet chat messages that are carefully thought and typed and don't convey the least bit of emotion.


That doesn't have to be the case, if both people choose to be themselves. And people can present false images in person, too, by carefully choosing their words, etc.
If one chooses to be deceptive, one can be. If one doesn't, one doesn't have to be.


That's a good point, but I think a bit of a stretch given that one entity is at least objective and real and the other can be 100% purely fictional.

I really do appreciate the replies and I understand where you and others are coming from, but unfortanely this is one of those many things that I don't and probably will never Understand.

I understand why homosexual men can enjoy sucking cock, but I will never Understand it.

I understand why people devote themselves and their lives to imaginery deities, but I don't Understand it.

I can understand purely metaphysical online relationships, but I don't Understand it.

Not knocking anyone out there or turning off the green "True" button and turning on the red "False" one. I just probably won't ever be hopping on board the bus.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 6:01:45 PM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		That can happen in real life, too, and has. Yeah, it's a lot harder. An online relationship does take a lot of trust, and there are a lot of people who just aren't willing to give that level of trust. Nothing wrong with that.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:09:56 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I was intentionally staying off this thread for a while, because I had to figure out My own position.  I'm pretty tough on the online only thing, where the two have never met, and even more so when they never intend to meet.  To Me, that kind of seems empty.  I am one of those people who is quite aware that I live in a physical world and I have physical needs.

Now I have to look at it somewhat in reverse.  Two weeks ago, I put My husband on a plane to Korea.  I suppose, in some people's eyes, that would make him an online husband for the next year.  In five weeks, My sub goes off and will, in a few months be back in Iraq.  No more sitting at My feet or doing chores here for Me at home.  The only service he'll be doing for Me is fulfilling his commitment and serving his country.  Both of them will, actually, just in different places.

So, will that make My sub an online sub? 


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(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:26:53 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
How exactly do you "serve" someone online....
What does that "service" consist of?

Great questions.  I never could get my head around it either and this thread should prove to enlightening. 

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(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:27:06 PM   
CyberMasterOne


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline 		Well, as an online Dom, what can I say?  When I put up the profile, I thought I'd be lucky if a couple of guys a year actually took me up on it.  Turns out, it's been *dozens* of guys in the past eight months.

Now, I actually have ended up with only a mere handful that "go the distance" and start doing assignments that I give.  I do have an application process;  part of that process involves reading my set of  "principles and policies" that I live by, and many drop out after that.

But, again, I wasn't expecting and wasn't looking for many;  indeed, I have to tell most who write to me these days that I don't feel that I have the time to do it right for any more boys than  I'm handling right now.  (I've taken out of my profile the "looking for" for anything other than friends only, but guys still write and ask.)

A professional salesperson knows that s/he will only sell a small number of prospects;  I have found that only a small number of folks want to play this way, but hey, isn't Collar Me all about bringing folks together who share niche-market kinks?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 7:44:50 PM   
DreamyLadySnow


Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		I guess it's like phone sex - if a dom/me wants their cyber ashes hauled, or the cyber house cleaned, or whatever, it works for them or they wouldn't do it.

LS

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:24:11 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamyLadySnow

I guess it's like phone sex - if a dom/me wants their cyber ashes hauled, or the cyber house cleaned, or whatever, it works for them or they wouldn't do it.

LS


Now THAT was a stupid comment.  People get off watching porn, people you are NEVER going to meet doing things to other people over which you have zero control.  It is a billion dollar industry so it must work for someone.

I LOVE phone sex, it has become a bit of a kink I suppose.  It isn't better than sex with someone I love but great phone sex is far better than bad sex, I have  ready supply of both but prefer great phone sex with BSB over bad sex any day (okay 99 out of 100) days.

Making someone masterbate in a crowded restaraunt, hearing their fingers sliding in and out of their wet cunt and desperately trying to mask their orgasm has a certain charm.  So does having a wonderful little toy who's name you don't know and in fact no nothing about other than her phone number.  Talking to someone for the first time who has zero intentions of doing anything and finishing off with her fucking her little ass and licking her fingers clean can provide a rather endearing power trip.

None of it equals waking up next to the woman you love but again, it has its charm.  Then again, having the woman next to you sucking your cock while...well I digress but you get my point.

It does of course beat porn hands down.

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:26:37 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

Thanks for all the insightful replies.

I can understand the usage of the Internet as a tool between two people in a long distance relationship, but I suppose my question was more centered around two people who have never ever met.

I can't say I can completely understand or relate to someone who solely wants a metaphysical relationship. The word that comes to mind when I think of that is "fantasy", but there is some better labels for it in this thread.


As far as "service" is concerned, it doesn't matter whether they have ever met or not.  You are either doing something for another or you are not.  It has been amply demonstrated that you can in fact be of great service.

Now, the bit about whether or not the relationship itself can be "real" or is it a fantasy construct is an entirely different one and something I suspect you and I agree on.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 8:41:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		To me it depends on what service is.  How can you service someone when you are on the highway and they are at home?  How can you service someone who is at work?  How can you service someone who is asleep?

Physical presense is a different form of connection and service, but only one of many.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Online Service - 5/22/2008 11:07:42 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		For me, there are very few ways to be served online... many, many more ways to engage in *play*, but not in being served.  The only two ways I enjoy being served online is receiving cash or gifts in a findom manner (pro-session payment isn't service, in my opinion.  It's just an exchange for my time in a business transaction.  In findom the kink is triggered for us both) and in research help (if there is a particular subject I'm studying for school, work or fun a sub can serve me by collecting urls of reliable or interesting sites).

That's it, really.

Now, various types of play... tasks that are soley online or involve the mail, webcam games or assignments that can be verified by photos, keyholding arrangements, and more can be done and I enjoy with the right person.

But even then, online only does little for me for long with most people.  If they're someone I *also* have a meatlife interaction with whether it's often or rare, then that's a completely different matter...

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Online Service - 5/23/2008 4:10:01 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Some things I've had people do while at a distance:

Maintained my online calendar.

Sent me the headlines that I was actually interested in....like science...and important (rather than famous) people who died.

Acted as editor for some stuff I wrote.

Did online research to any stupid question I could come up with. He was actually pretty intelligent (mensa IQ and stuff) so it was sometimes entertaining to see if I could find something he really had to research.

Oh, and the BEST one was: talk to people who IMed me out of the blue or who were pestering me. I'd forward their ID and he'd contact them with, "This is Mistress Fire's submissive. How may I help you?" That did a lot of weeding for me.

Master Fire

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(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Online Service - 5/23/2008 7:43:57 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There's the old line about the brain being the most powerful sex organ. If people genuinely immerse themselves in online interaction, it can feel just like the real thing...speaking from experience on both sides of that, btw. I had an LDR with a woman in which we had "scenes" that are, to this day, just as vivid and real to me as the live-and-in-person scenes I've done with my spouse. She and I were both serious about what we were doing, both immersed in the experience, and both very good with both language and imagination. It takes a certain ability to take yourself out of your physical space and into an entirely mental one...bookworms are good at this sort of thing, I find.
Then there are things one can physically do...like the webcam stuff or things like keeping a journal or doing assigned tasks (providing proof in some manner or not), etc.
Another way to look at it; I can leave my slave in our bedroom, ordered to torture himself, and he will do as he is told. I can dominate him without being in the room, he can serve me without my constant supervision. An online relationship is just a long-term, in depth extension of that.


Jenny,

you hit the nail on the head with your comments. Most people deny the on line benefits simply because they cannot get their barin to accept that media. If they would take the time to really mexplore it, there might well be a different attitude toward it.

CP

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Online Service - 5/23/2008 7:49:33 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Jeez it was incredibly hot because I'm in no way an exhibitionist but it wasn't serving him.. so I'm confused on what people consider to be 'serving'. Does that mean serving in real time requires sex toys and cumming??


camille,
But you just noted it in a way you do not recognize. When you became that "hot", you pleased him and that is a direct form of service.

CP

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Online Service - 5/23/2008 7:58:38 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am really being serious and sincere here, because this is something I don't think I have ever managed to wrap my head around and never have attempted to experience.


MR,

Possibly the reason that you cannot get your head around it is because you have been preconditioned to reject the concept.
Unfortunately it has been given a name that has evolked negative rejection by many and just as in vanilla life it it the negative that gets the press.

It take an open mind to be able to make the connection that allows a demand/request to be served and an equally open mind to meet that service request..

Mind you I address the sincere aspects of the subject, not a quick cyber fuck for a thrill.

The intimacy of the mind is the key to it all.

CP

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Online Service - 5/23/2008 8:05:23 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How many people have actually met their god? Yet, they don't seem to have a problem serving him/her.


gypsygrl,

*grins / an excellent point.

CP

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 60
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